Christmas Countdown: 18>

Hokum by the bucket from Scotty McCreery who country/pops the reason for the season in “Christmas Comin’ Round Again.” Everyone’s forgiving everything, including that guy who hasn’t been home since he was 18….

Almost as cliche, Vanessa Campagna is heavily filtered for a “Diamond for Christmas.” It starts out innocently: A winter kiss acting all innocent baby Wrapped up in a blanket playin’ round like we’re 18–so not about carats at all. Cornball pop.

Sappy Daddy-on-leave country from Alan Doyle, “I’ll be There Christmas Eve” documents the desperate family man 18 hours out from Liverpool making the trek as seriously as possible. O. Kay. Fine.

The knee-slappin’ verzh of dumbin’ it down arrives with a shrill of air brakes from Styles Haury (that’s what he calls himself) in “Santa’s Comin’ in an 18 Wheeler.” Yee-haul.

Brent Kentrow remembers when the first few times he could say “It’s Christmas in Colorado.” 18 inches of snow, cheap decorations, and a roaring fire make for a mellow country melody. Friends, family are extra.

Christmas Countdown: 24-*

The day before the holiday a person could use some mood-changing substances….

Psychedelic piano improvisation adds to the cacophony of the wasted “Christmas Eve/Christmas Day.” Riding through the snow Christmas Day, Chevy sitting on 24’s candy paint, Your whore want to go but it’s out my way–Tell her stay! I ain’t got no time to waste. Hott$cott got some ‘nog to flog, dawg.

Sometimes takes whiskey Sometimes takes more Always on December 24, laments Seth Adam in his slow rocker “December 24.”

Sex is the drug for Lardi B (feat. Projext) in the ‘romantic’ rap “Holidays.” Better be going by the 24th to get there! Sweet na nana nas.

More lust from Siopaolo (feat. Kelsey Kuantans): It’s the 24th of December, Remember last year when we promised we’ll meet Right before Christmas day–I want nothing but ice this year, We’re jumping into bed after 12 AM. “Hot Cocoa” seems to be code for this finger-popping R+B seducer.

Trying to get something going, poet Adam Marsland alt-grunges: Not to kill a metaphor But it’s “December 24th.” Yet, metaphors snow us in.

Despite falling asleep on the sofa bed on the 24th Autyn recalls the next morning “I Met an Angel (On Christmas Day).” Rock, i guess. (Céline Dion covers this–heavy on the sax–believe it or don’t.)

Sons of Daughters leans into the honkytonk with a brawling expose of a disturbance report of some red-suited guy at the local drinkery in “Moonshine and Mistletoe.” Line dance like you’re drunk!

Christmas Countdown: 70˚

Seventy degrees may not seem like winter for some y’all. But it’s not hot.

Byronnnn sings And you know we in the south It might be seventy in the winter with cool R+B slickness in “Coolness Christmas.” Family traditions include devotion to God, Countdown on ABC Family, and oatmeal pies. Yes, ma’am.

It might be too early It’s like 70 degrees; But after waiting all year It’s right on time for me introduces “Christmas with You” by John Waller (feat. the Waller family), a swinging pop ensemble of musical fun. Family’s the thing, guys.

Family is the basis for love, and tragedy though. Matthew West’s tale is a country weeper ’bout the boy with the diagnosis in summer. Middle of September still seventy degrees Daddy climbs up in the attic Brings down candles hangs the lights on all the trees. “One Last Christmas” is the horror we’ve heard before, but it still gets ya. Dunnit? (Based on a true… yeah, okay.)

Christmas Countdown: 73

Some day I know it’s coming When all of us won’t be Together there for Christmas (I hate to face it but we won’t always be together for Christmas), You know Daddy’s seventy-three (it seems hard to believe but your daddy will turn seventy-three) is the tip of the maudlin in The Statler Brothers’ “Something You Can’t Buy“–for Christmas that is! Country smarm to beat all.