Many a (rap) song mentions wanting a PS5, but i don’t care. A few carols allude to The Jackson 5. Whatevs. But we’re far from final with the fives.
Micah 5 mentions the prophet we celebrate, as told in the UK rapping “The Christmas Story.” Too many tea la las, but J.Walker from LTD is a clever freestyler, so okay.
The Mistletoe Tappers introduce themselves as lead “Roger the Polar Bear,” a multi-instrument penguin, and an arctic fox on drums. They rock the North Pole with an old-timer funk, Five encores later feeling high as a kite they bid adieu. Wild.
Just as weird, “The Serpent With a Star on His Head” allows a pagan approach to the birth of Christ. Sharks Teeth gets garage psychedelic with the symbolism: An inner-fire That you breathe With the five symbols on you. Ride it in glory.
“Bad Santa” from L-T Terror is earthy, urban rap full of flava and eccentric references far from me: Big beard, five pack, Saint Nick, Merry Christmas. Five pack? Was he in an accident?
The Teeth interjects into Shannon Sionna’s “Trap Santa” with more rap lasciviousness: Keep a bag on me: I’ma bring you four or five gifts; I’m sliding down your chimney Stuffing stockings nice and naughty.
More kinky, All Students have a Christmas plan: As I see right before me your toes–I’m gonna suck (aye) One toe, two toes, all five down. “MistleToes” to the tune of Pachelbel is a pervy party (kinda like rap).
Some examples of how not to behave As a Christian, begins Terry Silva in his “Christmas Songs.” Pretty pop itemizes many naughty acts: Get down, get dirty, man on man, Try and jizz on his nose, spank his butt with a pan; F*ck 5 married women, steal their poo Then post it to your neighbour and covet his good. Marvy-mas.
Pleasant Bud’s “Christmas Party” adventure begins well: Presented my host with five apples in pie. But then the girl’s leg falls off… Cute filking.
Upbeat ragtime from Scottish the romantidote: “(Have Yourself) A Very Maudlin Christmas” is all about the disappointment of crowded get-togethers–Is there anybody else whose sick of sleigh-bells? Those five same movies that you’ve seen a thousand times? I believe you know this one.
Jumpy punk from Michael M recalls the Pandemic times of 2020: “I’m Fine with the Fact That I’ve Ruined Christmas.” Five packs of coveted toilet paper is one of the gifts, so far as i’m concerned, he saved Christmas.
Frankie and the Lake County Collective also claim “I’m So Over Christmas” with even more perky country pop. Same five songs everywhere I go... well, stop on by the blog. Just saying.