Big Show: Nativity Rehearsal

God appears in human form in a lowly barn, what could go wrong?

The elementary school kids are so cool they “Don’t Wanna Do No Nativity” in Edgy Productions’ school show. Never too young to learn ‘meta’ in an internet world. Vaguely rock.

I remember once I even played the part of the shepherd in the Christmas play at church, bemoans Bill Anderson in “Still Believing in Christmas.” Nobody’s going to tell him not to say Christmas. Which is probably true.

One of the showstopping numbers from ‘Nativity: The Musical’ is “Hollywood are Coming,” harking to the heralds. It’s motivational show tune (voices raised).

The “Killer Robots from Venus” are aliens who move in next door to The Arrogant Worms. Other neighbors are suss, but we like them: They applauded for my kid at the Christmas play (He was the best shepherd). Awesome folk in denial. (A better showing perhaps than when they were the ox in the Christmas play and stepped on the baby in their klezmer “Christmas Sucks!” Oh the fiddling!)

Big Show: Nativity Play

Most Christmas plays illustrate Bible stories for the masses, like they did nearly a millennium ago. We tend to favor newer Testaments nowadays.

My little boy was a wise man this year, warbles Reba in “The Angels Sang.” Pop country about misting up over the Lord.

Not everyone gets to be in this rite o’ passage public humiliation. Like Caitlyn Dyke as told in “Preacher’s Kid.” Indie country with a wistful bent.

The cast on a spectrum is “Merry Mary (Christmastime Is Here)” by Tomás. This messy rehearsal of a kidshow is both entertaining and prophylactic. Other peoples’ kids, amiright?

Big Show: Christmas AI Presents

Another Sunday Afternoon makes merry metaphor of “The Christmas Show.” This indie likens all of Winter’s splendor to a production. Snowmen assemble!

Likewise, Jingle Bots compares all the hullabaloo of the holidays to “The Christmas Show.” Big band, though AI. And the crowd goes tender and mild.

SingIt Pop uses the lights strung and blinking for their “Electric Christmas Show.” Pop with a heavy beat. EDM even.

The Holiday Voices bebop the “High School Christmas Musical” life over caffeinated, hyper sugary teens we expect. Emerging talent.

Footprints in the Snow” has something to do with a Christmas show. But Kaneidog (feat. Babs) uses more AI than sense for me in this shrill pop.

Big Show: The Christmas Spectacular

Mary J. Blige soothes the R+B with “Christmas in the City.” Mandatory for NYC Xmas is a show at Radio City Music Hall.

Edgy Productions addresses thank yous for attending the Christmas Show. “Yours Sincerely” is rhythmic kid rock that fills the bill.

One of those wacky nuns in ‘Nuncrackers’ belts out “All I Want for Christmas” is a one night stand at Carnegie Hall. Practice practice practice, goes the joke.

AI attempts an awkward performance when “Santa’s in the Christmas Play.” OG R’n’R from Richie and the Rockets.

Big Show: The Christmas Assembly

Yeah, the kids step up for grammas everywhere.

The First United Methodist Church Annual Christmas Play” is one of those ’70s throwbacks in which a rural story gets the moral CW treatment. Brian Kinder jerks the tears with this shaggy dog.

The Patrick Brothers go even lower with their “The Christmas Play.” All sentiment, no sense of humor. Country whining.

From an actual assembly piece from Emily Crocker, “The Star of the Christmas Play” is NOT an angel this time. Aspirational kidsong, with a novel twist.

Big Show: The Christmas Play

In order to force the family to be among one another this time of year, wee ones often get shoehorned into assemblies about the Nativity. Yes, you DO have to go see your brother be a donkey. Yes, it will probably be a disaster.

The Fallen Angel Choir so their civic pride to invite all y’all to the show, any show, in their fast a cappella take on “Joy to the World.”

“The Angel in the Christmas Play” was a bit-o-fun from the ‘forties about a hellion performing for the school. I knew this from Spike Jones (George Rock vocals), but i guess Gayla Peevey got ahold of it a decade later. Then i saw an old videotape of The Carpenters (w/Kristy McNichol) from a TV special. Good God.

Bunch of Believers apply the ska when they’re “Puttin’ on a Play.” Colorful, but a bit of a success.

It’s the Christmas Play” and it all goes to pot, at least when John Farrell sings about that one time. Kidsong with a very slight edge.

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Oof, this is getting to be too much.

Green Pajamas lets slip a bit of cynicism when they hear “The Carolers’ Song.” Indie can’t help itself.

Blink-182 start to lose it when they hear the whiny, irritating voices of the carolers. They alt-rock the appropriate response “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” with gusto.

Gwen Stefani don’t need caroling when she needs you “Here This Christmas.” Measure pop.

Darkest Carols, Faithful Sing” is the flip side of heavenly; metal from Christopher Lee. Try it. Hearing is bleeding.

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Ben Folds celebrates “Me and Maurice,” his doggy family, while observing the doggie walking joys of wintertime. The carolers ring the doorbell twice then disappear. Nice indie with a soaring tribute to picking up poop as well.

Not that you can tell when it’s cheesy pop but when The Chipmunks ‘sing’ “Ho Ho Ho” about trees and carolers and whatnot, you can’t tell. Can you? And Dave is having a screaming meltdown. Huh, classic Chipmunks.

So, rap? “A GNF XMAS” is GNF (feat. Sheri John) fronting. Is this holiday related? Oh, if Dropping jingles so they caroling is it, then so. Ladies….

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Pistol Annies dream-mash Mama’s cherry pie with prancing reindeer and carolers to “Make You Blue.” Country indie of the melancholic kind.

New imagery from Sugarland notes the butter light of candles and the shivering of postmen, though the carolers sing the same old stuff. With their powerful alt rock, everything looks better in “Gold and Green.” Merriment.

A Millennial Christmas Carol” is some experimental spoken new age rap mashup from EYEAMKI. Its asks you to DREAM WALK, to the sound of the Christmas Carolers. But, you don’t i’m still good with you.

The worm turns when Axis of Awesome does the math and figures the carolers outnumber the residents in “A Christmas Corral“. Keep it down, and no one will get kicked, they warn.

While we’re out of sorts, Sufjan Stevens orders “Get Behind Me, Santa” while discounting malls, candy, and carolers… not to mention that bad bro, Santa. Raucous indie.