-10˚> Christmas with you Is all I ever wanna do; Wanna do those winter things, chirps Emily Malmgren in “The Star on Top of the Tree.” Alt pop about just stuff.
-10˚> Meet the Seavers lounge up their indifference even if “It’s Always Christmas Time.” Excellent jazz harmonica.
-15˚> “I Hate Christmas” from the cast of ‘Naughty… But Nice’ is a pop showtune that testifies loudly.
-30˚> Willie Sterba plays a tree who would like to be INSIDE in “A House That Smelled Like Cookies.” Kid folk song. But… the tree talks! (And wears a coat!)
-30˚> Gord Bamford’s “Storybook Christmas” is hard fiddlin’ country with hard characters kickin’ up their boots.
-40˚> Robbie Williams has a showtune orchestration to his kidsong “Rudolph.” Magical.
Going out with a random enumeration, “A Star in Langley” by Loden Taylor is, perhaps, THE codes. But, it’s too late. Good night.
Well, friends, it’s been nearly a year and a half of this countdown nonsense. I’ve learned nothing, and am not sure i know how to do a monthly theme for novelty Christmas music any more. But, man have i fallen into some crazy tunes. Lots of crap i prolly shoulda spared you from, but a few of these songs make it worth it to me. Happy holy merry fuzzy, y’all.
Are you celebrating Christmas too early? You won’t find today on your advent calendar Because “Christmas Doesn’t Start in November.” Or ever for the punking Pablum. Cool song, tho.
Angry folk rock from Well Kept hates all civilization and Christmas, too. In “Advent Calendar” our pantomime of peace and love gets a beating.
Buy me an advent calendar, begins Camera Obscura’s “Footloose and Fancy Free,” a weird pop experiment with hockey organ and slide guitar. It’s about counting down to getting away, but not.
Not exactly cheering me, Cassie McMullin calls on how “Traditions Vary.” Plonking piano pop points out Our routines that give us cheer–Advent calendars or 25 movie nights. Almost accepting through the snidely whiplash.
Perking us up, Mark Fryars’s “(You Put the) Jingle in My Bell.” It’s a list of what you do for me (all Xmas related). It includes putting the advent in my calendar. Corny pop.
“December, Wherever Are You?” is a knockabout on both Xmas and Chanukah: Well I don’t get the advent calendar And eight straight nights is just crazy. Rocking pop (with a touch of Dylan) irony from Austin Weber.
Some holiday songs mention that anticipatory number crunch.
Punchy pop from Nadia Vaeh claims you’re in the future dreaming Of this Christmas countdown. “Christmas Cards” is all about the loving to come.
Amateur rap from Alex Connor complains about “Corona Christmas.” Despite the lacks, celebrate: Listen to Christmas Countdown songs. Maybe not this one.
More professional but cheesier, Everlife’s hard pop “Everyday is Christmas” notes, The count down is starting it’s getting closer; Snow is falling its getting colder; and other cliches.
More rap, “Christmas Cheer” from T Vinci (feat. Marley Wilson, Sean Island & Reef Weber) gets a bit more colorful (and antic): Thе Countdown to midnight ain’t stopping. Go, clocks, go.
The countdown to Christmas has finally begun, begins the soulful children’s delight “Little Toy Soldiers” by Vicky Mir Rodriguez (feat. Aloha and Coco). But something’s gone wrong–!
Henny Queenz lists song writing, stocking hanging, movie watching for her “Christmas Season.” Then start aChristmasCountdown—all this stuff exhilarating. Festive rap.
Some may countdown on to that day But I say Christmas is all month, sings Aushai in her “Merry Christmas.” Well put. Well sung. R+B.
Creepy Brit pop from Cage-A, “Come On Christmas” commands: So the countdown will begin now And it’s ONE TWO THREE. This song of children and smiles is fooling no one. Murder’s coming.
McCardy’s “One Christmas Eve” is also carefully orchestrate. Flirty, in a pop way.
Courtney Swain’s piano alt-pop “Snow Globe” has an agenda. Remember that one Christmas stocking that made Christmas suck? BLUE ALERT.
Folk bluegrass for Rick’s Original Music “It All Started One Christmas.” It’s a light fight with the neighbors! But the wives’ve got something to say about the livestock additions.
“That One Christmas Song” by Caroline Manning X Hannah Meloche is pop trouble. A hit song that makes regret happen. Fame haters!
The Black Arts boogie woogie “Christmas Number One.” But that top rated song becomes a monster and eats the army. Uh oh.
There was that one Christmas… remember? (It’a an excuse for me to include old stuff.)
1975. I remember. Greg Lake (of Emerson Lake and Palmer, you could look it up) gets just filtered enough to make me believe “I Believe in Father Christmas.” Classic pop rock of the epic sort.
The Tenors begin “Santa’s Wish (Teach the World)” with earnest reverence, then you realize you’ve heard it before. In 1971. With hippies holding hands and sharing a fizzy beverage.
Eddy Arnold smashes easy listening with country to represent that “One Christmas Eve Long Ago.” That’s our nod to The One True Christmas.
Bobby Vinton smushes easy listening with contemporary pop in “Dearest Santa.” Is that oboe too much?
Peter Paul and Mary make “The Marvelous Toy” a folk strummer of golden age nostalgia and modern grabby consumerism without missing a beat.
This year was me hunched over Lyrics.com trying to find a Christmas song with the number 666 in it, or something like that. I wound up in genres i ordinarily wouldn’t’ve sampled (metal, rap). Some months featured less than a hundred songs! Then the weirdness started rolling in. So my retrospective here on this day of all days is not exactly in order (so tired of that). But, i will recommend albums for you to peruse (BUY!) as well as singles to celebrate the gonzo times we are in.
Did i forget to mention TV’s Kyle? Put a Santa Hat on It is a must-have holiday album full of quality comedy and decent music. You gotta trust me on this one. Get some.
Okay, Christmas cards on the table, imma Dickens fan and a musical fair-weather fan. But, Team StarKid’s electro-disco ‘A VHS Christmas Carol‘ may be better than most modernizations. Kudos to cast: Dylan Saunders, Jamie Burns, AJ Holmes, Brian Rosenthal, Ali Gordon, Brian Holden, Meredith Stepien, Joey Richter, Lauren Lopez, Clark Baxtresser. Check this out.
An amazing synth rocking family shaggy dog story, “Pink Aluminum Christmas Tree” by Leschen Sessions (feat. Kyle Suppler) begins with drunk dad in a ditch then winds up with the enterprising son cashing in on Ebay to the tune of 953$. Don’t believe it? Listen again!
Glad to listen to Krista Detor again. Noticed her my first year out (2015!). Her album, The Silver Wood: Winter Songs, covers fun and systematic societal failures. Love it.
Kookoo bananas from Welshman Liam McKenna & Friends, A Christmas Crisis (for Crisis at Christmas) is a charity grab for a Foodbank type thing in the UK. If the ideas of a dog asking for cat food for Xmas, mincemeat, and turkey bingo don’t wow you, this might be the album wherein (like Edgar Rice Burroughs) you exclaim I Can Do THAT Just As Well–and you diverge to your new career.
Nick and Gabe bring it back around to jaw-dropping novelty with “Thank God (9/11 Wasn’t on Christmas).” This pop tribute begins with how awful people make the holidays, BUT… ‘coulda been worse. Thanks for the perspective, boys.
On the older side, June Christy’s This Time of Year takes us back to 1961. Hep cats may have listened on high. This swingin’ jazz easy listening needs listening to.
Jamie Cullum’s The Pianoman at Christmas is pretty cool. Jazzy lounge big band orchestration. If you like that sort of thing. Then you might love this. Purchase?
Andy Churchill is sitting in your driveway wondering if it’s just a “Party of One” for Christmas. Alt-rock be-grunges the misinterpreted invitation: You said 8:30 But nobody’s here. Still he wishes you’d join his party (of one), i guess because it’s a time of forgiveness. Or he’s that naive.
Wikipedia news! Christmas in Stereo was a 1997 Christmas album featuring various indie rock bands. Each band had only two weeks to write their song. (But i’ve never featured that.) A follow-up compilation, Christmas Two, was released in 1999. (Dipped into that well many a time!) Not something you may have heard before. Bees’ knees and all that. Find it if you can.
The Dan Band features Dan Finnerty, and a whole lot of inappropriateness. Santa helps a hooker, elders are given the gift of a roll in the hay, terrorists are teased, and too much is had to drink. Ho: A Dan Band Xmas has even more. Parody of ‘Christmas Shoes’?? You bet! Look it up!
Un-joyous is the cost of 100 quid faced by The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican in their ‘American Pie’ parody “The Gasman Cometh.” Figures it’d be Christmas Eve (the day the boiler died)…. (Yea! Parody!!)
W.R. ‘Bud’ Thornton, J.D. Andrew and Mike Butler, the remarkable band that has in its time been called ‘the future of hillbilly rock & roll,’ ‘and one of a kind rootsy warriors,’ make up The Boxmasters. (That’s from Airplaydirect.com.) Get ready for some Christmas Cheer. It’s gotta be good, ‘cuz i’m allowing standards to get the rockabilly treatment and still insisting you check it out. [BeeTeeDubs, last year a follow-up Christmas in California came out. Yeah, also too.]
The other day it dropped to 78 I’m kind of cold, brags “Florida Christmas.” To the Handel chorus Kj-52 X Jonah cleverly disputes your preconceived notions and raps in the holidays, playful-like. I guess I like rap that repeats itself.
Ivor Biggun’s Xxxmas Package is the BLUE record of Robert Doc Cox, aka Ivor Biggun. The subjects range from penises to drunkeness to sex to alcohol. This is a sound engineer from the ’60s at BBC who just had to get down and dirty, for you. Naughty list!
Amanda Shires trembles with her alt-garage, then screams with her pop punk. For Christmas is the gamut of grrl rock and you might want to ask permission before playing.
A loaded 44 is the problem in “Green and Red,” a road rock of a rollicking tragedy. See, the color that left the elves when he snapped is hidden in the title of the song. That’s Vinny the Comb for you.
Official Sidekick Production is also a bit amateurish fighting crime in a high concept superhero-inspired Christmas album: The Super Friends Holiday Album. Each song is from the POV of another comic character. All DC, but the fanboy must be fed. This is good stuff.
The prettiest BLUE ALERT i’ve ever posted (yeah i’m a sucker for violins), Altarviolet’s “This Christmas Can Eat a Dick” is not a hater, but a sympathizer for the lost, the put-upon, and the miserable. Still, bully for you who like it: Merry Christmas to the ones who cannot wait till the clock strikes 26. Alt-folk.
I wasn’t sure i’d get into COVID Christmas albums, but Reality Student Ministry’s A COVID Christmas is a bit too good (EP short as it is) to miss. White boy rap, but it gets me.
Saint Etienne is perky pop, but it is Christmas–a time for forgiveness. IF I ever get in a dancing mood, i could do a lot worse than A Glimpse of Stocking. Bet YOU’ll like it.
Harry and Chris from ‘The Russell Howard Hour’ (yeah, i don’t know ’em either) explain Christmas from the 25th to the placenta to a last minute, on the way to Christmas dinner, present-buying, emergency service station stop in “The Christmas Song.” Pop show tune comedy. Literally.
I’ve been missing Thrice a Chuckle to the point where this basement band has dropped SIX volumes of Christmas frivolity i only just discovered. Known simply as Volume I, Volume II, Volume III, Volume IV, Volume V, and Volume VI–wait, there’s Volume VII! Uhh, and Volume VIII!!~ There may not be a topic they haven’t skewered with their folk-rock slyness. Golly.
Now i did run into Make Like Monkeys years ago, but never LISTENED to their album(s). Perhaps i’ve grown more tender with age, but this retro rock-pop band has all the musical nonchalance of boy bands from the late ’60s (Herman’s Hermits, Paul Revere & the Raiders, and–yes–The Monkees). This was before the age of irony, kids, and the folk-surf-baroque influences create a world of sweetness, even with heavy heartbreak, dysfunctional families, and MONSTERS (their forte). Granted, foolishness and angry parody have their place, but i love music that leaves me with hope. Please, oh please, try out some of their wonderfulness from Christmas With Make Like Monkeys!, A Barrel of Christmas!, Let the Season Begin!, Joyeaux Noel!, Hand Claps for Christmas!, Make Room for Christmas!, Ahhh! Real Christmas, and Just Add Xmas. These are album starting from 2018… love ’em all! (The separate singles i’ll sneak onto the blog later.)
Now, i ardently listened to Dr. Demento in the ’70s and could recite the lyrics to Benny Bell’s “Shaving Cream” at will. So, knock me over with a feather when i discovered Joel Samberg had updated this classic into “Holiday Shaving Cream” which includes building models of nine reindeer at night and finding behind them the next morning…
Just about the strangest thing i stumbled over this year was Brendan Dalton & The 1740 Boys Choir tribute Christmas in Middle-Earth. Why, yes, each song is dedicated to a different character (or set of characters) from LOTR. I suggest you brush up on your Tolkein and read the song titles carefully. In some ways, i suppose, this is no more than filking (like they do at the comic cons), but it’s just so damn impressive. For the nerds.
A strange metal attitude fills Albert Fishing Trip’s macabre sprightly folk pop Christmas Album. Often parodic, always grisly, this should fulfill a rebellious teen’s wishlist. Or yours, you sicko.
Needing more, Keith Varney belts out Just Get Me to Drunk in his hanging-by-a-thread country pop “Christmas Spirits.” It may be morning at home, But in the town of Bethlehem It’s five o’clock in the manger… is all the excuse he needs. Salut!
It’s Going to Be an Awkward Christmas, Darling by Helen Arney is an alt-pop–at times talky–exploration of family, relationships, childhood, and all other necessary evils with curious genre mashing ups.
So, to Christmas morning. The Stew Boys are begging BLUE ALERT! for Christmas off, but instead they’re up at 4 A.M. to “Make the Stew.” Hope you’re happy. The plodding pop makes me quite so.
Stephen Colbert’s ’08 Christmas special won a Grammy and sold a few albums. A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! is all over the place, showtunes to improv, parody to serious messaging. I should have recommended this long ago. All for you!
Wild Earp & The Free for Alls swing their Cynical Christmas. That way it’s fun for the whole family, no matter how upset you are. The traditional tunes (done as prison blues)! The dirty juke joint fracas (for laughs)! Ho ho, oh.
D.I.L.F USA get pretty pop with their thoughtful “Countdown to Christmas.” Then they rock. Two gifts for you. Oh, and a cool video.
One is not just the loneliest number; it’s a pronoun, an article, a weirdly spelled adjective meaning alone. But we’re so tired of the countdown, we will not include EVERY CHRISTMAS SONG EVER that mentions everyone/anyone/no one/a/the/that/this/I/you/etc… No! Let’s dig up some GOOD stuff.
Where else to start but with Dead Sex Puppets and “Santa’s Buried in My Back Yard.” It’s punk! It’s pop! It’s got an alibi!
Which cues up Pup Punk’s deadpan hilarious “Just One Christmas.” See, Mom and Dad WON’T get a divorce like all the other parents, whose kids get two Christmases. It’s so upsetting that BLUE ALERT!
Time for one more pop punk tune about existential dread? Problem Patterns has fun with “Christmas Number One.” No numbers were harmed in the singing of their woes.
Naw naw naw, no hearts in two–that’s halves. But some Christmas carols feature body parts, which often arrive in twos.
He drinks the milk, He eats the pies, I saw him with my two own eyes, chortles Jay P Jones in the veddy Brit-pop “Because It’s Christmas.” Oy, spotted again, Claus.
How do you deal with a “Christmas Catfish“? Wanna see you with my own two eyes eyes eyes, raps the suspicious Miles A. Good thinking, but how many eyes you got?
It’s snowman time! What goes into a snowman? Two eyes, a nose, we cheer with heavenly fun, Buttons and a top hat, icy toes hollas Alivia Sarah with some gospel country force. “It’s Christmas Time” is the title, so not just winter time.
More precisely, Robbie Bishop advises: And two eyes made out of coal in the rockabilly pop of “Santa, Hitch Up Your Reindeer.” Dance time!
Alternately, If you got snow, throw a ball or two sweetly serenades Tiyi Christopher in the smooth and slow “I Love Ya (This Christmas).” Those are parts too, ya?
Starting out sweetly (self harmony) Karl Werne gets philosophical in his “It’s Christmas.” So share your gifts and understand; It means more from your own two hands. Symphonic lite folk.
Zippy zydeco from Ry Cooder welcomes back the wounded warriors in “Christmas Time This Year.” All I want is two good arms so I can hold my kids, one maintains. That’s a bigger ask than teeth. Holy moly.
What’s sweeter than tokens of affection? On Christmas morning I’ll wake up next to you, Give you a kiss or two, sings M!chelle in the sensually rhythmic pop “Christmas Morning.”
Steven Curtis Chapman is only asking for a “Christmas Kiss“–One little kiss, well maybe, let’s make it two. Jazz band intimate.
Leaning into the ukulele, Shannon Paapanen chants the Hawaiian “Christmas on the Isthmus” (guess there’s a bit of one on Maui?). We could share a big kiss-mas and a warm hug or two swings the schmaltz.
Terms of endearment, too, are sweet: I thought I’d write a note or two of Christmas cheer To you, to you sings Albert Hammond in the rote ’70s pop “Under the Christmas Tree.”
“It’s Always Christmas in Siberia” asks for a gentle moment. Here we relieve the inner chill with a choice word or two, advises Jed Davis with great alt rock kicking.
Best intentions, too? “Christmas is a Homemade Holiday” is another tawdry showtune that touts pablum like: IT’S MADE WITH LOVE AND YOUR OWN TWO HANDS. The Broadway Kids sell it within an inch of their stage moms.
There’s a thing or two I’d rearrange, insists Kevin D Young in the music hall funniness of “Christmas is Weird.” You know he’s right.
Fall Out Boy shuffles into “Yule Shoot Your Eye Out” with negligent nonchalance. Alt-grunge pop with depths of One awkward silence, and two Hopes you cry yourself to sleep Staying up waiting by the phone…. Yet i dig it.
Let’s get to the loot! I mean one present’s good… And yet YYAAMM forgot to get “Two Presents“ for Jesus, One for Christmas and one for his birthday. Mood altering tinkly alt-pop for the novelty.
Just as odd, Johnny and The Raindrops have a request: Peace and love from you The two things you can give me. You might want to write it down… “Peace and Love This Christmas.” So, not just the love, kay?
“Proper Crimbo” is British thing, so marvel at Bo Selecta jolly-rapping about getting stuff, like two trainers and whatnot. Weee!
Presents wrapped under the tree, One for you and two for me, quips Stephanie Ryan in the over twanged “What Christmas Means to Me.” Grabby.
Working from a Facebook news report, Jim Dimzey wails “Blame Chine (You Stole Our Christmas Day).” Meaning, Covid-19 interrupted somebody’s good time and they’re looking for payback. Or shopping: Maybe we can get a thing or two If we can buy it online. (Ya think?)
Bursting with joy and happiness and glee and love, Jonathan and Emily Martin insist you have a “Happy Christmas.” Eat a candy cane or two, they advise. I think that’ll make it worse. Attention: lots of credit given to God here.
Drinks are good, too! Dolly Parton pairs up Michael Buble for “Cuddle Up Cozy Down Christmas.” A glass of wine or two fits right in with this piano bar swing.
Boo Ray and Elizabeth Cook aw shucks the country with “All Strung Out Like Christmas Lights.” Problems seemed lessened when they go two more bottles of wine. But it’s hot in here.
That’s nothing. In “Straight Up Kentucky Christmas” there’s bottles EVERYWHERE. And this one guy, Some people even call him the grinch–But just a drink or two and the man you knew Was giving out some Christmas gifts. Swinging country swing from The Old Americana Band.
Waylan St. Palan & The Magic Elves boogie woogie into “Quarantine Christmas” with no pain. Maybe I’ll stay at home and drink some wine, A little sip of this and drink of that a chug or two is fine. Wild party for one.
Off-duty Santa had a drink or two; He’s a little pissed at the world And he’s gonna show you. Shmandarin rocks with “Scheming Santa” to tell you what it is.
More country comes Alex Southey with “Christmas in the Valley.” You said: There’s two coffees on Christmas And I’ve missed this season, but pretty soon we′re gonna forget this. A testimonial to the get-away.
