Roll On: Cynthia

Named for a mountain, CYNTHIA is for those from Mount Cindy–summat like dat. [Ack-shooly, Cindy can derive from Lucinda, too. Isn’t etymology fun?!]

At the end of the punk “Christmas Is Killing Me” The Pretty Reckless claim No, my name is not Cindy. Why did i bother? (‘Cuz it Rox! is why.)

Well, that name might’ve come up as the foil for The Grinch, as rapped in “The Grinch” by The Frooty Four (feat. Lil Kimchief). Could be preteens here. Gonna need some ID….

Lil’Z Beats makes it weird mackin’ on Cindy Lou Who in “Whoville Christmas Eve“. Smoove rap with some R+B. [Damn but hip hop loves the Grinch story.]

Or mastering in euphemism like The Pretty Reckless in their return with “I Wanna Be Your Christmas Tree“. Country swing on the naughty list.

Charlie Russell uses Cindy Lou as shorthand, an allusion for a soul’s salvation in “I Found Christmas (When She Found Me)“. Showtune bombast for a quite thought.

Cake in Space uses her as code for personal friend of Santa, sort of. “Merry Christmas, Santa” is novelty rap with overly orchestrated shenanigans.

But then Ronson Kwan cynically refers to that lil girl as an annoying conscience in the freethinker “Mind Your Christmas“. Mind your business. Catchy folk indie.

I draw the line at Nick Nittoli’s BLUE ALERT politicizing of “Grinch” wherein the Green one is MAGA and Cindy Lou is the libtard. What a load of rap.

Room for a parody, though. Eclipse 6 a cappellas “Mean – The Grinch’s Wicked Story” as a tribute to both works. Cindy Lou makes a second act cameo.

TyMe WArp rap to another in “Merry Christmas Ebenezer“. Yeah, Scrooge gets a shout out. So does Batman. But, to the point, so does Cindy Brady. More youth busting’ rhymes.

Cindy isn’t always an innocent. In Jeremy Reed’s AI boogie woogie she’s an elf stripper at a joint called “The North Pole“. Mercy.

Jahnoi (Dale Virgo) carrib pidgins “Christmas Celebration” about the true meaning of Christmas, yet cautions against pickpockets and Cindy who has some kind of accent, according to a man who makes ‘boy’ three syllables.

Sadly, “Cindy Wants to Cry” on Christmas. Gary Wilson brings a fusion of experimental barbershop, reductionist indie, and industrial ragtime. Huh?

Andy Madi takes stalking to a new level with the melodica disco-esque Eurovision “Cindy“. You’ll be his by Christmas. Time for Witsec.

Roll On: Cornelius

Despite being the name of characters in Shakespeare and Harry Potter–and a Pope–CORNELIUS means one thing to us for Xmas. Horn colored!

“Yukon Cornelius (Bitcoins & Christmas 12-1-13)” as rapped by Syntax. the Terrific doesn’t much analyze our fave-o prospector. Just name drops. Charlie-in-the-box gets more airtime here.

Snowbunny Prospector nails the 20 second song with “Yukon Cornelius“. This AI ragtime pop reframes our hero into a hound, but c’mon–that hat, those whiskers… he’s a chick magnet.

At Jeff Beverage’s “Elf Christmas Party” Y.C. crashes the scene. Folk kidsong of some quality.

Kids Rap Radio sounds like you’d expect. “Reason for the Season” lists Yukon with Scrooge and the Grinch. Wait a minute, that’s hardly fair.

“The Ballad of Yukon Cornelius” may be homespun amnateurism, but Quinn David Furness applies ragtime piano and a slight twinkle to delight. Wah-hooo!

Roll On: Constance

CONSTANCE is Latin for constant. Nowadays we say loyal, true blue, steadfast. English, where we have a dozen different ways to say the same thing.

Wayne Tinch doesn’t worry much about “The Christmas Tree Cat“. Others were more concerned. Aunt Connie got choked and turned a little blue. Bluegrass AI, but not insufferably so.

In “Breath of Christmas” Charles Flanery sings to Connie with nothing but country gentlemanly compliments. I’m guessing they haven’t been together long.

Roll On: Cody

I give up. Why? When i come across entries like CODY comes from the surname Ó Cuidighthigh, which translates to ‘descendant of Cuidightheach‘, i capitulate. Nothing to add.

“Cody Christmas 2020” by J. Moriarty seems to be more about questioning the purpose of life than celebrating the past solstice, but that’s how some do. Indie, natch.

Face facts, Cody is a regular character on the show CoComelon. So, “Cody’s Christmas Wiggles” helps you understand what kind of kid he is. Kidsong with a slightly subtle message.

Roll On: Clarence

Almost a male version of Claire, yet CLARENCE swings existential energy of its own this time of the year.

Iffen you don’t quite recall Clarence the angel from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’, Xthnru’s “Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence (Clarence’s Regret Remix)” might remind you. Except it’s perhaps not the ending you thought you remembered. (Mandela Effect?)

“It’s a Clarence Christmas” by Clarence says it all. Or nothing at all.

But we’re thinking of another character. “Clarence, I Wanna Live Again” is surf garage from The Plodes. As such it’s largely gargling, but it does stand for something.

Lovers Turned to Monsters retell the life from that angel’s POV in “Atta’ Boy, Clarence.” Indie to a higher power.

Richard Melvin Brown hopes Clarence will break down his door and be his own personal savior when he’s “Alone at Christmas“. Strangely synthed country lounge.

For George Foster Jr. Bing and Frosty and Clarence are but symptoms. “Come See My Christmas” he proposes his POV in his best Marty Robbins AI.

Nostalgia rules for Dru Ruffin Sr., whose AI “Do You Remember?” begins with George and Clarence. R+B-ish.

Blue Confession equates movies with “Christmas Eve Magic“. They play a kissing game (out of booze?) during ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’. Jazzy easy listening.

Somewhere in Canada, “December 26th, 1945” Arnie and the Waves garage the tragic car crash through the ice bridge into death. Clarence was driving. No angels to save these guys.

Animal time! A goat named “Clarence Stole the Garland“! Bethany Snowe uses south of the border AI pop to tell the mischievous story.

Hoy N Doy N go through the paces with “Clarence the Substitute Reindeer (Christmas Song)”. Kidsong–from a children’s book? They get an E for Ewww.

Roll On: Claire

From the French from the Latin, CLAIRE means clarity. Memorize that if you dare.

Clara is the name of the little girl heroine of ‘The Nutcracker’–as introduced with junitoni’s “Scene 01 The Party“, complete with ballet steps called out (like we’re at a barn dance). Yee en haut.

She’s also mentioned in the summary “Dance of the Gifted Night” by Quincit Peter, It’s AI so i wouldn’t take notes.

Not canon, “See You Again” is Urban Fu$e (feat. KarlaGod & Fee-Z)’s epic fight for Christmas rap with a dollop of soul. Clara and Santa go for it.

Perhaps ironically, Maddie Q compares herself to Clara dancing in the plea “Why Can’t It Be Christmas?” Modulated pop declaration. Don’t wake her up.

Reference to Black American icon Miss Clara Brown doesn’t help the AI reggae mess of “Tidings (Pop Mix)” by Laury Webb. There’s odd, then there’s OD.

AI kidsong, “Clara’s Christmas Concert” twiddles and twinkles about some little old concert. Blame Shu Chen Hou.

Even less human, “Clara’s Christmas Cookies and the Orange Cat!” tries for heartstrings. But Rhyme Time Surprise’s got another algorithm coming.

Clarice is the name of Rudolph’s squeeze in the Rankin Bass cartoon, so she gets press. Schlocky lounge from AI from Fons & the Chargers “Red-Nosed Romeo” seems to be half a song. Hey-o.

The New Carpenters try on a B-52s kind of sound with “Merry Christmas, Clarice.” It works like all get out.

Sapere Bloom dip into some Sufjan Stevens for their “Rudolph & Clarice“. I likes it.

In “Rudolph the Blood Soaked Reindeer” Roadside Attraction reveal Clarice was her stage name. Real name: Shauna. Reindeer games get lethal.

Tracy C. Mansfield uses AI to express his stuttering love for his wife to be Claire, and the baby/puppy he can’t seem to name (‘Fart’?!?) in “Merry Whatsis!“. Anomic aphasia set to lounge easy listening.

The Norm Bassett Band allies AI to “Jingle Swing“–but it’s infectious. Tommy’s spinning Claire here (and Susie’s there, ignore her). Yeah, swing.

Sometimes i sit back and just enjoy the kooky ride. Za’s Stair seems to load “Holy Claire” with international political intrigue. Can’t quite put my finger on what’s the what. But saving Christmas with her butthole is either a terrific mishearing of the lyrics or a lyric in a dynamite novelty. Hypnotic alt-pop.

Lundy has apparently been sending “Drunk Texts to Santa” about Clara. Santa country sings his AI replies of understanding. Disturbing.

Being left on Christmas Day is bad. Finding out from a “Note on the Fridge” is worse. But then, she jumped in a taxi with Claire. Bluegrass with an actual breakdown by Felix Johansen.

Roll On: Christopher

Christ means King. But CHRISTOPHER means follower of Christ. What’s the deal? Is it because of Santa’s first name??

Is Christ the original Chris? Mute Frank has something to say about that… “Chris Clash” is word jazz about all different names vying to be the Chris. My stars and garters!

Too cool for school, The Tell Alls regale “Christina (Christmas Baby)” with pokey indie humdrummery. It’s her birthday, yay….

A skosh more animated, “Merry Christmas Kristina” by Aymard is tinkly new age indie with some vocalizations of beginning passion.

Misheard lyrics can be humorous. But Shen ongoing, annoyance may arise. “Kristen, Just Be Late” attributed to Brandon Strohl is little girl gusto with shrill hollering of the old Chipmunks novelty. Baby crying bridge! Exhausting.

AI heralds “Oh Christmas Time, Christine“. Shaky Jesse & Peter – Paul Rennenberg make pop music pule.

Rap that isn’t enthusiastic, “Chrissy Christmas” seems positive. Regardless of the goodness of the holidays, MAKCITY has a chip on his shoulder.

Untrained schoolboys Suncidy2 belabor “Chrissy Christmas” into an unfunny in-joke with a kind of rap.

Perhaps getting overhyped, AI makes “Chrissy Christmas” a hero. DJ Popo raps unapologetically, sings uncannily. Chill out.

DONALD O’CONNOR & DEBBIE REYNOLDS take “Chrissy The Christmas Mouse” pretty dang seriously. Big band novelty kidsong from–wait for it–1992.

Baby Birdies use AI to give us the new generations’ verse of kidsong: “Chrissy the Magical Christmas Tree“. Sway along, but don’t parse this Frosty ripoff.

Sloan Brothers get pretty excited about being all grown up when they “Ain’t Goin’ Home This Christmastime“. Then they launch into misty nostalgia about comparing presents with neighbor kid Christopher way back when. Swinging pop.

“Chris Missed Christmas” is overwrought garage from Guinea Worms. You’d swear it was the same two syllables on repeat.

“Chris Mouse” is elementary rap from Papito Nation. Practice session?

Bobs & LoLo addresses the solution with “Chris Moose“. This kidsong suffers from excessive harmonizations, but applies humor in the right places. Dance!

Venetia Family tout “Dinosaur Chris” with equal portions celebration and concern. Bayou pop with some biting.

Anastasia Robieson narrates the adorable story “The Frankenzombie that Stole Christmas“. His name was Chris. He cries. Then problem solves.

“Kris P. (The Christmas Elf)” is big band bananas with Dennis van Aarssen. I love when serious as shift crooners take on the silly kidsong.

“Chris P. Christmas” by Dan Singer Songwriter involved unwanted gifts fed to Paul, the goat. Gonzo pop that doesn’t explain the title to my satisfaction. Oh well: dingle dingle.

“A Chris Piss Christmas” by Squishy Balls also loops the spool with nonsensical melody. Gentle pop for a good time.

Were the ’70s the golden years? “Chris, Chris the Christmas Tree” by Peppermint Kandy Kids attempts to stall the vote for kid songs for the holidays. Soaring vocals, but nonsense for lyrics.