“Christmas Oranges & Sunk Submarines” is Buttonfly’s plea to stay home for the holidays and not see all the extended family with the baby. Gentle indie folk that bleeds the blues all over the tub toys.
Curly head dolls that toddle and coo, Elephants, boats, and kiddie cars too are just some of the booty you’ll see when “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” Not every version bothers with these carrots, preferring to terrify you instead with the stick of his seeing of you when you’re sleeping. Try Gastronomical Unit’s re-imaging.
The elf who DOESN’T get to make the toy boats is pretty pissed BLUE ALERT in Tessa Barcelo’s ‘Toyland’ musical. “Merry Christmas for Today” is a mad lyrical rap from Hanna Bielawa who is not satisfied on the shelf. Frantic and antic.
Some people commute by boat. Sound fun? Smells terrible.
“Hop Along” is a curse hurled at traveling. Yr Open Kitchen Window throws indie pop at all the poetical posings: And when you traveled for Christmas by the ferry Did they carve ‘happy’ or ‘merry’ into the granite? Curiously clubby.
More of an annual treat, Phil Ryder (feat. Olivia Barker) ferries to “Isle of Arran,” a hefty Scottish offshoot known for pretty scenery. This childish Celtic carol has that droll understating thing so you can’t tell if there’s any happiness to be had.
Peachy Keen also brings us kidsong twaddle in the form of “Christmas Eve in Sydney.” The ferries smile in sunshine! Well, it’s short.
We’ll just sail on, purrs Toni Braxton (feat. Shaggy) in their trip to have “Christmas in Jamaica.” R+B freestyling.
Just a few miles from L.A. begins Ron Bell with disco calypso to get to “Christmas on Catalina.” It’s an island. So there’s a boat to get there.
Even the ferry whistles chime in! soft rocks Jim Indell & The Indelibles with “Christmas on Staten Island.” Yeah!
Jebediah’s “Country Holiday Song” is a country banger about just hanging out. Maybe drive down to the pier, perhaps fish. Doesn’t seem to matter really.
Find me on a beach by the sea, Floating around, in a boat you and me, chortles Toni Das with some fine surf guitar in “Xmas by the Sea.” Tres relaxing.
Heartbroken at the navy pier at 3 A.M. Kill Hannah indies the rock in need of a “New Heart at Christmas.” That’s Christmas for you.
Brennen Leigh gets totally country with her drunkard other, listing out the inexcusable behavior–including rolling the car off the pier–to some fine honky tonkin’ guitar. “Merry Christmas Ashhole” says it all.
Most of human civilization began near waters. Food, drink, and eventually escape were at the opposable thumbtips. For novelty music purposes our holiday wetness mainly boards boats. It’s fun, a bit of a getaway. Unless it’s work; then it can kill ya. ‘Salso a grand metaphor. (Heavens ‘I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)‘ is not about watercraft at Bethlehem–which had no seaport! Prolly the ships of the desert–camels–for the Magi.) So, just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale… or an odd song or two.
By inches, now. We begin at the launching point. Punters get a git traditional but with electronic guitars for the prettily paid “Christmas in the Harbour.” This may be home, with no intention of venturing. But it’s Irish.
Donna Lewis’s “Christmas Lights” may refer to harbor lights, or may just reflect on the seasonal ambience. Indie gymnastics.
Christmas train songs can just be noisy and not mean anything.
“Train Trip” from the album Christmas Sobbing by Flore CF starts as a noisy journey, but interweaves multilingual background dialog so the whole mess just feels like holiday travels.
“Not a Late Night Train” from the album CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2017 by Ann Eysermans is the back tracking weirdness of experimental pop. No idea what it’s supposed to be.
“Santa’scomin’baka’round!” by Toddiefunk yells out the rap like a black Paul Revere. It’s all good, it’s all celebration: Now after all the presents have been opened and the dinner consumed We’ll dance down a soul train line. Funk. E.
New Kids on the Block try rapping “Funky, Funky Christmas” to little success. But they identify who is what throughout, with a call out to my elf, Little Train at the end. Who dat?
The Go-Go Boys introduce drag sensation “Peaches Le Train” to the toon of ‘Silent Night.’ The train here is the long long dress, and the carting in of Xmas music. Huh.
Might be a plane, might be a train, no its old saint nick and he’s back in the game, worries Madame Love in the funky blues of “Love Affair of Mrs. Claus.” What’s it all mean? BLUE ALERT, but who cares when it’s this crunchy?
What a grand symbol the train is! What a grand symbol the Christmas is!
Reggae rapping “Happy Hanukkah” Matisyahu attacks us with diddydums and lyrics like: As I light up a flame in the name of the Lion of Judah, Drop like a hammer when I fall like the rain sun shower, Feel the power when I hit like a train. Okay, it’s a simile. But it’s pretty strong stuff.
I take a train in history: My family´s arrived And nothing´s ever has been changed, croons Casual Friday in the soft jazz pop (new wave?) “Now It’s Christmas.” Slow dance!
Darin Browne gets OG with his elementary rap in “Christmas Rapping.” The reason for the season is NOT Santa! Well the credit cards go clickety-clack Like a train running down the track. The lesson continueth…
“Train Tracks in the Snow” is the evocative spoken poetry of Johnny J Blair exploring the nearby environs of (tenacious) life and (frozen) water and the means to get to them (the tracks). It’s THAT time of the year, and it’s magical. But not precisely Christmas. C’est la vie.
Not a lot of Christmas celebration in nowheresville 1854, so Paul Weber harmonica-izes the folk sights of “The Christmas Train“–we waved at the engineer and he tipped his cap; Bright lights, spinning wheels and a bell, A real iron horse carousel! Almost showier than midnight mass.
Brato Usebo shovels on the discontent in “The Proper Christmas Spirit.” Ostentation, overspending, noise… none of it really helps BLUE ALERT. And then by mid-December we’ll have been won over: We’ll be on board the Christmas train with mint and Russle Stovah. The plodding doom march, the endless tortured rhymes for ‘spirit,’ the unexpected peripeteia… it’s the best Christmas soft pop song of all.
When is a train not a train? When it’s a metaphor!
Admiting it’s cliche, Clint Black countrifies the idea of time as a train: We’re bringing in another year let’s throw the old one back: With my new train I’ll be the engineer And hurry down the track While I know that time is standing still. “Slow as Christmas” is a fine sing-along for the whole family. Don’t hate it.
Iacopo Fedi maps his getaway from the madness of mundaneness on a “Christmas Train.” Stand back and let the rollicking garage funk through.
Simpler folk blues from Sofia Talvik portrays a “Christmas Train” Filled with guns and ammunition–They don’t give a damn about the wishing . This machine cannot be stopped. It is progress, expansion, war. Be afraid. Merrily.
Bluesy folk pop from Aster & The X Band suggest you surrender to the oncoming onslaught of the season: Feel it coming, the Christmas train. “Christmas” may be ironic, but it is definitely iconic of the dispossesed.
I miss being a team: Sharing everything Like laughter, “Christmas and Train Trips and Things” bemoans Trembling Blue Stars. So the Xmas trains are just normal stuff, the little things, the wallpaper of life. Miss that when the breakup is all there is. Gentle slow pop.
When Sweeney Toad reminisces urban childhood disappointments, it’s a lengthy list of brand names he DIDN’T get, including toy trains. “Toys Nintendo and Food” raps about the need to be good, as well as the bitterness of poverty.
Schnitzel has rolled through town before with the blasting funky honky tonk of “Christmas Tree Train.” Gotta ride it again. Wotta blast!
Almost psychedelic in its retro-activity “Toot Toot Train (Christmas Gift)” is a kidsong from Peter Klasky, a Chicagoan of pan flute silliness. Makes me dizzy.
John Vosel rocks the funk out of “Little Toy Train,” which is NOT a remake of Roger Miller but a tribute to the decoration going round the tree. With whistle!
Ancient Machine rocks the kidsong with metal lite in their sweet “Christmas Time (Love is in the Air).” Friends and Teddy bears and wooden trains, oh my!
I just the last several minutes combing through my posted inventory and still can’t believe i have never offered you Bill Anderson’s 1969 classic: “Po’ Folks’ Christmas” (a follow up/parody to his 1962 ‘Po’ Folks‘). It’s gentle country with a tongue in a cheek, like when the kids’re thumbin’ through the new catalog Lookin’ and a wishin’ and a wantin’ everything we saw: Little toy trains and little toy boats and sister kept lookin’ at the little girl’s coats.
Alan Jackson declares “I Only Want You for Christmas” with some fine honky tanking country. He lastly admits (in sotto voce) he HAD a train and a bicycle… but still–
Little dolls and long red trains, golden drums and painted planes seem to mock the smokey voiced Gabriella Rose while she’s missing you in her jazzy torch song “Merry Christmas Little Star.” The decorations are all she’s got in this time of bereft blues. Sultry.
