Author: douglove1225

Big Show: The Christmas Assembly

Yeah, the kids step up for grammas everywhere.

“The First United Methodist Church Annual Christmas Play” is one of those ’70s throwbacks in which a rural story gets the moral CW treatment. Brian Kinder jerks the tears with this shaggy dog.

The Patrick Brothers go even lower with their “The Christmas Play.” All sentiment, no sense of humor. Country whining.

From an actual assembly piece from Emily Crocker, “The Star of the Christmas Play” is NOT an angel this time. Aspirational kidsong, with a novel twist.

Big Show: The Christmas Play

In order to force the family to be among one another this time of year, wee ones often get shoehorned into assemblies about the Nativity. Yes, you DO have to go see your brother be a donkey. Yes, it will probably be a disaster.

The Fallen Angel Choir so their civic pride to invite all y’all to the show, any show, in their fast a cappella take on “Joy to the World.”

“The Angel in the Christmas Play” was a bit-o-fun from the ‘forties about a hellion performing for the school. I knew this from Spike Jones (George Rock vocals), but i guess Gayla Peevey got ahold of it a decade later. Then i saw an old videotape of The Carpenters (w/Kristy McNichol) from a TV special. Good God.

Bunch of Believers apply the ska when they’re “Puttin’ on a Play.” Colorful, but a bit of a success.

“It’s the Christmas Play” and it all goes to pot, at least when John Farrell sings about that one time. Kidsong with a very slight edge.

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Oof, this is getting to be too much.

Green Pajamas lets slip a bit of cynicism when they hear “The Carolers’ Song.” Indie can’t help itself.

Blink-182 start to lose it when they hear the whiny, irritating voices of the carolers. They alt-rock the appropriate response “I Won’t Be Home for Christmas” with gusto.

Gwen Stefani don’t need caroling when she needs you “Here This Christmas.” Measure pop.

“Darkest Carols, Faithful Sing” is the flip side of heavenly; metal from Christopher Lee. Try it. Hearing is bleeding.

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Ben Folds celebrates “Me and Maurice,” his doggy family, while observing the doggie walking joys of wintertime. The carolers ring the doorbell twice then disappear. Nice indie with a soaring tribute to picking up poop as well.

Not that you can tell when it’s cheesy pop but when The Chipmunks ‘sing’ “Ho Ho Ho” about trees and carolers and whatnot, you can’t tell. Can you? And Dave is having a screaming meltdown. Huh, classic Chipmunks.

So, rap? “A GNF XMAS” is GNF (feat. Sheri John) fronting. Is this holiday related? Oh, if Dropping jingles so they caroling is it, then so. Ladies….

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Pistol Annies dream-mash Mama’s cherry pie with prancing reindeer and carolers to “Make You Blue.” Country indie of the melancholic kind.

New imagery from Sugarland notes the butter light of candles and the shivering of postmen, though the carolers sing the same old stuff. With their powerful alt rock, everything looks better in “Gold and Green.” Merriment.

“A Millennial Christmas Carol” is some experimental spoken new age rap mashup from EYEAMKI. Its asks you to DREAM WALK, to the sound of the Christmas Carolers. But, you don’t i’m still good with you.

The worm turns when Axis of Awesome does the math and figures the carolers outnumber the residents in “A Christmas Corral“. Keep it down, and no one will get kicked, they warn.

While we’re out of sorts, Sufjan Stevens orders “Get Behind Me, Santa” while discounting malls, candy, and carolers… not to mention that bad bro, Santa. Raucous indie.

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AI and Andrew J. Mair make a mess of caroling when they sing “We Just Can’t Go! (Without Figgy Pudding).” See, figs are a laxative and… you get it. Nearly funny parody.

I may have mentioned Barenaked Ladies’ “Christmastime (Oh Yeah)” before. The title is a line from the children caroling down the street. Pretty cool indie.

Creepy Rod McKuen sleepwalks through “The Carols of Christmas,” just another 1970s blemish that prides itself on the obvious. But, just look at it. I mean, really Look At It. See? Easy listening, so to speak.

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Sharon Gudereit makes the request “Do You Wanna Go Caroling?” a loaded song with her kidsong showtune enthusiasm. Caroled carols included.

I DO have to repeat Joel Kopischke’s “Sweet Caroling.” Neil Diamond alert!

Winner of the 1989 Christmas carol competition held on Garrison Keillor’s A Prairie Home Companion, “Carolers at My Door” infuses Midwest cornballism with earnest talent. Here by Varsity singer. Call it gospel-ish.

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“Let’s Go Caroling” by Danny is a childish pop approach to the topic, but that innocent steamrolling is just the ticket for actually calling out while prowling neighbors’ properties.

“Christmas Is Here Let’s Go Caroling” is Jane Irene (‘Dr. Jane’) Farley bawling out in Carib English about what good Christians oughta be doin’ this time of the year. Holy cow.

Spoofing an old kidsong few recall, Music with Mar. kerplunks through a pioneer version of “Mr. Froggy Went a’Caroling.” Singalong, if you dare.

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“LET’S GO CAROLING” harmonize David Michael Layne and co. with easy listening mediocrity and angelic indifference. They’re recruiting.

“Let’s Go Caroling” belt out Turtle Creek Chorale with much borrowing and glee. Nearly gospel in their showtune approach.

The Brittles also title drop when they insist “Let’s Go Christmas Caroling.” Derivative pop. Still, better than AI. A bit.