Suffering from a recent breakup, Puuding finds “Christmas Without You” boring. R+B bordering on easy listening.
Asking for a break is the BLUE ALERT rap “Oh Comble All Ye Faithful” by F.Lobot. It’s not that they hate all your reason for the season, they just can’t be bothered.
The Christmas Jug Band don’t have much use for Yule, instead they proclaim “I Wanna Make a Holiday” that suits them better. I Can Do Better is the insincerest form of criticism. Bluesy zydeco.
Roy Zimmerman gets Dylanesque with “Christmas is Pain“, a folk diatribe whizzing all over the holidays from the 99%. Eat the rich desserts.
More folk, with driving pop, protests “The Hypocritical Christmas“. Matt Roach has an agenda to grind concerning all your unquestioning devotional frippery. He doesn’t give a shingle from under Santa’s feet.
The Mangles rockabilly “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Break For Christmas)” with the provisio that they don’t wanna start a fight. But the Griswoldian effects of holiday working, shopping, and Santas weary their rocking ways.
Taking cues from ‘Wonderful Life’ HkFiftyOne celebrates “Christmas Day” by getting out of the boring little hometown, and touring the world. Rap electric.
Jouncy bouncy come Twelve 2 Five with “The Last Christmas Day“, electronica that robotizes the merriment. Que danceable.
AI dismisses joy with an “Untuned Lullaby” in which Winter Sage is frozen out by those who matter and slow pops malaise in response.
Belinda and Stefan begin “Things that Christmas” with exhortation and cheer, but rapidly descend, with children’s style repetitive pop, into the mundane and icky. Not good traditions at all.
Brock Armstrong (feat. Heavy Flows) also begin their symphonic randomness upbeat, but then “Christmas Spirit” faces the reality of now (subprime mortgages, fleeing to Arkansas, the Jesus story leaving us cold…). Eww.
Please, “Don’t Let It be Christmas” bemoans Crankshaft Alligator to over-filtered slow blues rock in the ballpark of just giving ups and hating the whole magilla.
Burnout time for Xmas. Without labeling the young people and their made up generations, we can agree these are the bad new days and freshly minted adults don’t adhere to traditions like old folks did when before. Who cares about any old crap like Christmas, anyways? So, let’s explore the disaffected (like Holden Caulfield did 75 years ago) for the holidays–in no particular order ‘cuz who cares? [To the wary: many of these are love notes, as in let’s ditch the best day of the year and just be together; while others are Xmas without you by my side is barfy.]
Some frosty characters stay cool because they’re hangin by a thread and they’re using all their muscle to maintain an even strain. Vis. John Prine and his Xmas edition of “Everything is Cool“. He got dumped at Christmas, but don’t worry. He’s chatty folk cool with it.
Having no EFFS left to give, Mon Men BLUE ALERT garage up “Christmastime is for Sinners“. Passive aggressive can still sound aggressive.
Barenaked Ladies need to return to glumly acknowledge their disappointment with the pop “Green Christmas“. Anyway.
The Non Traditionals vote to throw “Plastic Trees” on the fire, climate change be damned. Now i know it’s in their name, but try a little more conventionality to go with your indie pop. Please.
Bob Rivers delivers the comedy with “The ‘What’s It to Ya’ Chorus“. Divine parody that chorally requests you mind your own beeswax.
“Oh, Deer!” from SLTCP folk garages how to change the game. Playas gotta playa. BLUE ALERT
In “Santa, Come Back” Siri Nilsson allows how it’s time to play a Christmas game. Something about naughty or nice. Gleeful indie.
The Popcorn Rebellion’s “The Christmas Game” is old country RnR kidsong you might to sing along with. Still with the kids?! ‘Tis the season! Johnny & The High Keys cover this high hand-clapping Brit pop. Better.
This summer Christmas is a holiday game, or whatever Echo Cities is saying in the AI pop of “Christmas in July“. Sheesh.
Thank Goodness someone came up with a drinking game. “The Christmas Jager Game” is BLUE ALERT Nerve Centre’s celtfolk attempt at relieving the tensions.
The greatest Christmas game ever was happened some thousand years ago with “Gawain” and the Green Giant. There’s decapitation and cheating. You could look it up. Or listen to this jolly folk number from The Trials of Cato.
Let the children play the game! insists Tumbleweed in “Woodland Winter” with gentle strings and whispery vocals. Lets.
The Archies sing about the toys and games at “Archie’s Christmas Party“. Easy listening teen rock from 2008, if you can believe that.
Well wrapped irony from The Lemay Odyssey pokes fun at “The Christmas Hokey Pokey“. That’s what it’s all about.
Kids all welcome riddles to pass the long nights until Christmas… And you might expect them to be like Farmer Jason’s “Christmas Riddles“. Country hoedown hoo haw.
So, Peggy Lee partakes of jazzy big band to ask “The Christmas Riddle“. I figure it’s Santa or God.
But then, Stanley Adams and Sid Wayne parlay “The Riddle Song” into a Hanukkah miracle.
And then–The Light poses the riddle about “The Christmas Tin” in which you must guess–or die.
“Come Out And Play” out of the bustle of the marketplace calls Meghan Pulles, all innocence and seduction. Bebopping rock with soooo much Brit pop you could cry.
Useta be ya hadda gun down the goose to have a holiday feast. Now you’ve got to fight the lines at Whole Foods. Or, if you’re in a romcom, mis-thaw the bird and undercook our expectations. LAUGH! Let’s get to the killing.
Now you might expect some ‘comedy’ like the “Christmas Hunting Song” by Anthony Petaccio. It’s ‘Rudolph’ with rifles.
Yes, there’s “Deer Hunting Song (Christmas Time Is Here)” where Joe Woznicki can actually sing to the karaoke machine. A bit eerie–
But there’s also slurred original country like Styles Haury drawling out “Huntin’ Rudolph“. It was only one arrow. Santa got mad. You know the drill.
Let’s take a moment to go overboard with A Fisherman’s Christmas Carols, a specialty parodists album from the North Pole Fisherman’s Association. Zydeco and bluegrass vie for country dominance over the smell and mess.
But then there’s the horror of “Santa Claus is Hunting You Down“, partly from the threat but also because of how Marc Grossman phones in the parody.
Back to the children: Jenny overuses AI for the kidsong “Going on A Christmas Hunt“. It’s like Where’s Waldo, but for snowflakes.
“Christmas Gift Hunting” by Paul Onufrey is clumsy kidsong with a heart. Beats AI for me. Be the gift-giving boss!
As technology makes cyborgs of us and then erases us, make sure to include video games as a tasty gateway to the singularity. Plug in, my brahs.
Digitally generated. the awkwardly titled “Christmas Video Games Country Intro Music” is credited to CASEY IS RAW–but for all that comes across as gently crooning light country homage. I’m shocked how little i’m not offended.
The Chalkeaters (feat. PiNKII) also take a light fingered approach to the sentimental pop of “It’s a Gamer’s Christmas“.
Retro-Fusion’s “A Video Gaming Christmas” vamps up the pop, but keeps the vision nostalgic sweet. Remember being a kid, when these pastimes were all that mattered? Then you became a Millennial and–same.
The reminder comes in form of “Video Games for Christmas” from DJ Beeswax, hollered out by some random kid who hollers for a living. Is it rap? Or just annoying?
SHYLO!’s “Christmas Video Game” uses the appropriate background electronica, but spouts whatever word salad occurs to them.
In “V.G. Xmas” J. Elijah Cho quietly alt-folk wishes you whatever you want: drugs, time off, everyone else leaving you the hell alone so you can play video games uninterrupted… what a great wisher.
The reindeer games included X-Box, i guess, as parodied in Dillon M.’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Gamer“. Sonic and Frogger get referenced.
Two Dudes and a NES hath bestowed upon us an adorable album, Country Christmas. The handful of songs celebrate the holidays and video games with country colorings and a spoonful of talent. Mario and Zelda are name-dropped.
Is it closing in around you, like a polar bear hug? Is it running over you, like a FedEx driver in a parking lot? Is it substituting every cell in your body with tinsel? Resistance is fruitcake. Christmas is HERE.
I developed researchers tunnel syndrome this year, overdeveloping categories of Christmas novelty songs that aren’t even a thing. But managed to turn up some jewels, so assume the position and let me lead you through what makes me happy.
JANUARY continued my long arc of sleep motifs from 2024, this time settling on INSOMNIA. That helpless nocturnal state: straitjacketed with sheets, unable to form a coherent thought, stuck in a loop is best audiolized by Indiana Drones‘s album Christmas, which loves a DJ skip back over the same phrase. This way, you can appreciate how unbearable your old X-faves really are. Share that.
The one song that won’t let my ears free from this month would have to be The Yule Logs’ “Up All Night“. Retro surf bebop rock, it’s an insomnia party. Perhaps you otter check out the album of the same name.
FEBRUARY furthered the wakefulness on Christmas Eve trope with tracking down St. Nicholas. Sneaking a PEEK, ambushing, and capturing were fun ways to make use of the wee hours. Kids excel at this, so let’s take some time with Professor Steve (Steve Roslonek), whose album Christmas Songs for the Young and the Young at Heart includes many songs that pick essentially the same tune out of that banjo, but soar across the imagination of children.
The song that wowed me this month was a musicalization from David Phelps’s own children’s book “Catching Santa“. Excellent tango rhythms.
MARCH finishes up our sleep cycle with songs that encourage you to WAKE UP, as children are wont to do with parents Xmas morn. Let’s call on Mighty Magic Pants, children’s entertainers with a palatable modicum of snark. Their album/show It’s Christmas! runs the gamut of childhood concerns.
The most disturbing song from this curated month was Gator and the Gator Boys attempting to “Wake Up Daddy (It’s Christmas!)“. It goes from bad to worse with nearly zydeco frenzy. You are welcome to tune out at any time. OMG
APRIL asks the big question: do you BELIEVE? In Santa, God, Christmas, Ron Popeil return policies??? Doesn’t matter which, what matters is, is your faith enough to raise you from the bottom, to lift you up? I’m overcome with belief enough to allow The Fleshtones‘ Stocking Stuffer album. Few if any of these are original to this band, but their garage no-trucks-to-give RnR put me in the mood to follow cultishly.
The impenetrable psychology of children is explored in the listen-to-believe-it number “Santa is Real” from Jugboy (Milford Willabert). Just when you think it can’t get any weirder….
MAY flips the script and serves up CYNICISM for all institutions, including disbelief. So let’s rock responsibly with Bob Wire‘s Exile on 34th St. album. (And shame on me for not endorsing his cooperative earlier effort with Chip Whitson, Off White Christmas.) It’s homegrown without studio bells and whistle, but it does in fact rock.
Too many individual songs to love just one, but existentialism to my head, i gotta feature the doo wop of Heebee-jeebees’ “Please Santa be Real“. This kid is strug-gull-ling.
JUNE was oodles of fun. I figured musical INSTRUMENTS figured in to Xmas music inherently, so i scouted songs that featured them individually. Even the guitar and drum songs were often awesome. Too much to choose from here, so give Creamed Corn‘s gamey country funk a try in the form of the album Santa Loves You. There will be drinking.
JULY (partially) posited how percussive BODY NOISES could be musical as well. Some mungy smelling beauties here. So allow me to once again go to the Tom Dyer trough to feed. His best holiday collection is Xmas-30 Years In The Making, a confident musical range from ska to funk to country to garage to rock. All in one.
Dawn Bosley’s “Santa’s Got the Hiccups” seems to have special needs, but it’s as cute as a three-legged puppy. That one’s been haunting me since i first heard it.
AUGUST was a scrounge for further music DELIVERY, so i cobbled together novelty tunes about records, record players, boomboxes, bands (salvation and otherwise), as well as choirs. It is from such desperation that diamonds are discovered roughly. What a find: Mr. B’s Christmas Album. Jim Burke, aka Mr.B The Gentleman Rhymer, has performed ‘chap hop’ for nearly 20 years. Larf riot, eh wot?
When a singer throws me for a lurch, i gotta relisten over and over. But i still don’t know what to make of KC Glynn‘s “Chrinese Cowboy Hats“. A trucker with import-phobia, a jukebox in a truck stop, and the perfect Xmas gift set the scene for a Johnny Cash kind of lecture.
SEPTEMBER seemed to be the conclusion of this music making merriment with a closer look at CAROLING. Longtime blog contributor, the Jacobsen Brothers has Eric and Paul making funny and cool music all on their own (no labels) collected as Jacobsen Bros Christmas Tapes, Vol. 1: 1980-1983. Envious, that’s me.
The way to show your Christmas spirit is to sing loudly and badly. Thus, Dollar Signs and the folk screed “Caroler“. Close the blinds, douse the lights, activate the lawn sprinklers. Way to make a point, buddy.
OCTOBER might not be a pivot, but Xmas SHOWS of all kinds were sung about this month. Not clear how, but download BearRon’s Completely Stupid Christmas Album any way you can. Just a guy (Rob Barron), a guitar, and an uncanny sense of humor. All i need for a happy holiday season.
The blues from Matt Braunger & Mike Phirman set off “Holiday Road Comic“, a truly epic road trip to land a stand up gig in a faraway land. That was a Christmas show to end all Christmas shows . Two laugh minimum.
NOVEMBER was MOVIES month. Plenty of overview, and of course a couple dozen songs about how ‘Die Hard’ really is a Xmas film. That old dead horse. It’s about time, then, that we made it official: Robert Lund‘s Elves Gone Wild is one of the best holiday parody albums. Period.
Not only is “It’s No Christmas” boogie woogie, not only is Larson Lee a one-man band, but nearly every movie/special you know is checked in this rafter raiser. Mercy!
DECEMBER did not stay in our lane when GAMES/SPORTS were combined for the holidays. Dreidels get to spinning. Cards are dealt. Balls are thrown (snow, foot, basket, and more). So let’s honor one more master of Xmas comedy singing, Dave Rudolf–and his marvy album Completely Cracked Christmas. It’s nuts!
HarrisandHarthaveaseriesofEPsyou should really check out, that is if this Wild West gambling showdown “Dingo” does for you anywhere near what it does for me. Mixing Christmas and cards might be a death sentence, or interrogative anyways. These go goofy covers, foreign language (pig latin! Latin!), parodies, and down right hilarious oddities. And to all a meh album.
Well, this is what i have to show for my year. You’re welcome.
