Full disclosure, the ‘Jolly Roger, the Christmas Pirate’ short musical theatre bit is only the last part of Bah & The Humbugs’ album Another Christmas Ruined. It begins with Santa (in disguise) questioning young Jenny about what she wants to Xmas in “The Only Thing on Jenny’s List.” Things turn ugly.
This causes Santa to question his raison d’etre. His existential crisis is summed up in the solo “I’m Not Obsessive.”
“The Spirit of Christmas Presents” haunts the haunted Santa to explain what is what. The moral of the song is: strength in numbers.
Out of the blue, pirates (“Jolly Roger and his Chorus of Pirates”) arrive–with a deal. They need help with the delivery of jacked booty. The waters are too hot these days.
The booty? “All You Need is Rum.” And it’s for Santa! (Boy, are the elves happy!)
Seeing his shot, Santa challenges Jolly Roger to an arm wrestling match–in the song “Arms”–as to who delivers Christmas presents!
The sponsor “Northern Lights” beer interrupts the longish match with an elvish commercial.
Spoiler alert–Santa wins. He’s “The North Pole Champ.” Elf dogpile!
Santa is so relieved not to be the target this holiday, he’s having “The Merriest Christmas of All.” What a party.
Jolly Roger gets his training from Santa in “The Tao of the Sleigh.” Apparently any monkey can do this, with the massive tech on Santa’s sleigh. The gifts will almost deliver themselves. Saying Ho Ho Ho, however, eludes him.
The actual story is just the postscript here: JR delivers, faces down the scary Jenny, and succeeds (and takes whiskey as well as cookies). Huzzah.
In “The Joyous Ending” Santa gloats. Jolly Roger shines. Phew.
That’s enough of that. Except for the men workshopping catch phrases. Oh, yeah–and don’t leave out your liquor.