As Seen on TV: remember

To paraphrase Voltaire, If television didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

TV has made us as much as we’ve made it. TV has made Christmas what it is today. So obviously, we need to focus on RankinBass specials and Hallmark magic love movies that play once, twice, twelve times a year. But NO. We here at novelty Christmas music dotcom must ever hunt more elusive game: the sudden original song in the serial experience. No, not awkward caroling by our weekly stars, but actual entries into the canon of never-hear-that-afore celebrations of the holidays. Honestly, an enormity of these will be from cartoons. And i will allow cartoon specials/albums from established characters. (But NO musical variety shows.)

And i’ll start with something else weird: Christmas songs about TVs.

Ancient M.A.N. revisit their childhood with all those specials i promised i’d overlook and how much they taught us the true spirit of Christ. “Christmas Cartoon Song” is maudlin folk with a touch of alt.

52 New Things focuses on the offerings of “Christmas Day TV.” A later generation (slightly before cable, it sounds like) also uses folk (with mad fiddling) enjoys those special family movie selections that preempted soaps.

Modern despair from The Deckchairs who watch “TV Xmas” and drink to forget. Party punk.

The Buddy System gets alt-retro with “Xmas on TV.” More music, less message! Just like TV!