Consume-mas Quantities: eat your feelings

Man waiting for Xmas cannot live on sweets alone. Songs about the other food groups have peppered the media for years. So lets follow the bountiful ball through these comestible carols:

Rosie O’Donnell had her fifteen minutes of talkshow host fame before she became a professional ‘pig.’ She even dropped an album of holiday duets with her willing guests. Here she salivates with Gloria Estefan (and admits to pigging out) with “I’m Gonna Eat for Christmas.” Psst–It’s okay to make fun of your own weight to the world in a pop song, it’s (theoretically) humorous!

[ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU PARODY ALERT! Doug the Pug internet sensation leads the lackluster shopping spree to “All I Want for Christmas is Food.”]

More silly parody from Pete LaMaster singing dad jokes to ‘Beginning to Look’ (with ample Star Wars references) a la “Holiday Eating.” He’s polite and discrete, so okay.

Be careful with your holiday diet: what sounds like more Plank Road Publishing bemoans “Don’t Eat a Poinsettia” for Christmas. Holiday romper rooms everywhere sing this one (we would hope WITHOUT a Mexican accent on the chorus).

Not everyone eats American for the holidays. Trinidad riddim mon Jahzy lets it all hang out with “Eat Muh Belly Full” without specifying too much exotic sauce (there’s wafer). Get up now!

Sunny Cowgirls recount an Australian smorgasbord (edible and in-) with their own wacky child-style pop song “Ate Too Much at Christmas.” Don’t spew!