The tenth episode of the tenth series of the Mystery Machine sleuths was the usual ice creature for Christmas. But the chase scene music by Hevy Trevy was pretty boss. “Santa Claus, Santa Claus.” Far out, man.
Category: rock
As Seen on TV: Sesame Street
Not quite a half a century old, the Street that built The Childrens Television Workshop has housed many a talent, and launched many a literacy program. But it’s also featured some cool Xmas songs. (This also is not a regularly scheduled drama/sitcom, but it’s got such good stuff i can’t keep my mitts off.)
Less than 10 years out, Merry Christmas from Sesame Street dropped in vinyl. Highlights included “I Hate Christmas” from Oscar the Grouch. Recalls vaudeville and Jimmy Durante.
“Saludo (aguinaldo)” and “Arrurru” were more ethnic celebrations from neighbors Luis and Maria. These songs were not carried over into the rereleases of this record into CD.
The show taught you how to have a family, too, with songs like “Keep Christmas with You (All Through the Year).” Grand overture in lite chorale.
A later album Sesame Street Christmas Sing-Along counters this with “Counting the Days,” one of those genre experiments that introduces the wee ones to cotton candied classic rock’n’roll. That’s the only original song from that disk.
1996’s ‘Elmo Saves Christmas’ features the horror of the children being in charge. Elmo wishes every day should be Christmas. When it comes true weariness, bitterness, and mayhem ensues.
“It’s Christmas Again” was a refrain played throughout the hour, showing how fed up the chorale got each time they had to sing it. Comedy gold.
Charles Durning tries to teach THE LESSON to Elmo in song with “Every Day Can’t be Christmas.” Somber stuff. Tough love. Pay attention, you greedy brats.
During the regular run of the show celebrities wanted to be educational for the kids, or i guess some of them are doing community service.
In a 2oo7 TV special ‘Elmo’s Christmas Countdown,’ we get plenty of juice.
Sheryl Crow duets with Elmo for “It’s Almost Christmas.” Kid pop with a nice alt twist.
Anne Hathaway sings and dances with Big Bird for “I Want a Snuffleupagus for Christmas.” You got that right.
Jamie Foxx gets weird with his “Nutcracker Mash” sprinkling light jazz/hip hop on top the Tchaikovsky.
Kevin James brings it home with some classic rock bidness in “You Just Gotta Believe.” Credit where credit is due.
Presents of Mine: specificity
Don’t get me just Anything for Xmas!
A BIKE! “Jimmy’s Christmas Present” is that kidsong that rocks from Jimmy Giggle. Well, dadrocks.
- The same presents that keep on giving include: “A Cadillac Under My Christmas Tree” by Bad Detectives. Jingly ‘billy.
- “A Guitar Beneath the Tree” by Silent Stranger. Folk reflection that cranks up some hair rock.
- “A ’55 telecaster Under My Tree” by John Jorgenson and Carlene Carter. Road rock with a country twang.
- “Santa Bring Me a Dinosaur” (a NEW version) by ME ‘n’ JB. Kidchorus.
- “War Toys for Christmas” by Roy Zimmerman (the originator of the song). Poppy folk irony.
- “A Christmas Cat Song” by JibJab worries about the exact right gift for Jesus. Singsong folk.
- “Swiss Colony Beef Log” (a FUNDRAISER cover) by Brandi Bigley. The South Park Christmas classic showtune revisited.
Familiar, but unsung here, Chris Farren beats hard on “Christmas Guitar.”Garage whining ‘cuz he busted the old guitar. Good luck, chuck.
Try one more new post from Joe Quesada and Idlechatters: “Ultimate Comic Gift.” Rock’n’roll with Elvis impersonation included. (Collectors note the ridiculous lengths comics go to reissue.)
Presents of Mine: scooby doo unmasks santa BLUE
Of all the great Santa-brought-gifts songs, the funniest can cut to the big reveal–it’s Dad!
Or some truckers… “Christmas Gift Convoy” from The Hot Rolls is country done road. Toot toot.
Simply questioning “The Christmas Delivery System” Nat James comically addresses his problems to the folk song syndicate to solve this magic trick. Danceable.
Brian O’Sullivan goes BLUE with the lively folk number “Santa Song.” Kids, look away!
My favorite is Nick Helm from a couple years ago “There Ain’t No Fuckin’ Santa Claus.” Brit hard rock.
Presents of Mine: indecipherably me
Weird songs don’t scare me. But i do worry i won’t categorize them correctly for you, the viewer. But here are songs I THINK sing about the gift of you/love for the holidays.
Girl Ray celebrate you and it (Christmas) with a breathy tin pan alley pop piece, “[I Wish I were Giving You a Gift] This Christmas.” Angry love, but hauntingly cool.
“Christmas Gift” by Mick Keogh (feat. Nicola Creighton) is Asian influence pop with sped up vocals and nonsense lyrics. It must be love.
Love love love Chris Farren’s folk Brit rock “Like a Gift from God or Whatever.” Not particularly religious, but hella fun. And i detect a loving feeling.
Presents of Mine: seriously, you only got me you?
A few more tolerable love only gifts for Xmas
The Hot Rods croon and whistle some low key rockabilly with “I Don’t Want Your Christmas Presents (I Just Want Your Christmas Kisses).” At least i know now that your present is more than just present. It gives back!
Friends of Sound minimally deliver the message about your worth vis a vis presents in the dance-electronic pop number “I Don’t Want Presents.” I don’t want to stop the beat.
Commercial 1970s pop from Mifflin Lowe from a concept kids album follows Wilton Wilberry and his quest for the best Christmas present. Well, as you should have learned by now, “My Very Best Present is You.”
Cool cool cool doo wop from Jimmy Beaumont and The Skyliners, “You’re My Christmas Present” is that 1957 early RnR gem you need to play for her.
Retro rock from The Four Corners beckons you to dance with me, ‘cuz “My Gift to You (It’s Me).” Cut that rug, slice that carpet, shred that floormat.
Presents of Mine: me too
Girls just want to have boys for their presents, according to professionally recorded, mega-produced, nearly listenable songs like these.
Doris Day wants presents, but you honey are the loveliest “Christmas Present” of them all. If you’d just come home. Uh, Doris… if he’s not present, he’s not a present. Helen Welch bosa novas this one for your groovy bachelor pad party. Swingin’ codependency!
Kacey Musgroves is lonely without you here. Without you she’s like a “Present without a Bow.” (I think she means she‘s without a beau [It is to laugh!].) Country bubblegum.
Dr. BLT switches the beat with electronica-hiphop a la “Christmas Shopping for Love.” I love the down and dirty sentiment, but how do you box up this abstraction, girl?
The Chicks (a 1960s Swedish girl rock group) (i guess) think you are the best “Christmas Present.” And they keep to the beat. Believe it.
Presents of Mine: where credit is due
All that shopping! Are there any consequences?
Doctor Kitty bemoans the bills due after “Black Friday (Credit Cards Love Christmas).” Not sure they’re serious. Maybe it’s the lugubrious folk moaning.
Bob Wire with Chip Whitson want to celebrate the buying season with a rockabilly “Credit Card Christmas.” Fun with dads!
Prog rock from Natalie Pfeiffer seems to be some home grown talent from a decade or two ago. Still “Credit Card Christmas” has few regrets, so don’t worry, be hapless.
Just as retro comes Scottland with “Credit Card Christmas (It’s Gonna be).” This ’60s soft rocker invites us to singalong to bitch.
Treermendous Holiday Fun: What the Ficus?!
I’m coming around to the idea that some of these Christmas Tree entitled songs are jumping on the log truck bandwagon and have nothing to do with celebrating the holidays after all.
Or i can’t tell what the sap they’re talking about.
But i like the songs.
Mattie D’s “Christmas Tree” overwhelms us with percussive urgency.
Mike Red & Rai P sample off the ‘Home Alone’ movies. “Christmas Trees” lays the angry rhymes down. BLUE ALERT
Word jazz accompanied by experimental jazz (it almost tells a story…) “Black Christmas Tree” somehow from Midget Handjob. Enter at your own risk.
“Christmas Tree” from Romantic Beats may be trying to trick us, but the angelic distortion of pop music lulls me to confused submission. Ahhh.
Thinking about what passes for reality, Love Tractor claims “I’m Not Afraid of a Christmas Tree.” Latin psychedelia, so: hunh?
Under the Bodhi Tree torture their “Pink Christmas Tree” with grinding club rock. But what in the dickens is it?
Does anyone sing along with metal? Twitch’s “Christmas Tree” has an angry punk message (i think) but mostly keeps time (to me). You try it.
Ditto for amped punk. EXTREME BLUE ALERT “Christmas Tree Farms” by way of Snag spews vitriol, and i guess some December framework.
180! Light gentle jazz pop from The Pearlfishers intoning some Rod McKuen-style poetic sloppiness with “A Christmas Tree in a Hurricane.” Like a musical intro for a ’80s sitcom.
Also tender, Borderline Beauty (which seems to associate the growth with peace) cries out for “Christmas Tree Without an Oh.” Folk rock on a mission to change the world through poetry.
Guy Capecelatro III has a concept album (Abandoned Christmas Trees) about existential angst which ticks off the Christmas boxes. “Chainsaw” is a folk charmer about failures. “Tinsel” bemoans our futility with experimental rock. Now go take drugs.
I even looked up the lyrics for “Barcarola (You Must be a Christmas Tree),” but it stumps me yet. Sufjan Stevens is the troubadour of trial and error.
Fun rock from Women’s Christmas who regale us with “Pissing in the Trees.” Not Christmas, p’raps, but a party song of enormous proportions.
Cardinal tells a song of hopeful love in “If You Still Believe in Christmas Trees.” Symphonic ’70s rock. No trees are discussed.
Underground blues from the UK, the chatty The Sensational Alex Harvey Band detail the crime spree gone bad in “There’s No Lights on the Christmas Tree Mama, they’re Burning Big Louie Tonight.” I get the story, more than in The Stagger Rats cover, but why o why the tree?!
When the lyrics talk about losing all friends, i think i know the category for the song, but Vengaboys are so party-strange with Uncle John dying and reggae-disco beats… i give up. “Where did My Christmas Tree Go?” is for you to figure out.
Short and sweet Laura Watling’s “Christmas Trees in July” pop tinkles across the dance floor.
Jumping Through Fiery Hoops also coopts our topic oddly. “Working on a Christmas Tree Farm” is psychedelia with a folk bent and flashfast imagery to corrupt your status quo. Whoa.
I’ve listened to “Christmas Tree” by Bewitched Hands on Top of Our Heads several times and i know it’s about something, but i don’t care. Chorale rock. Art qua art, dudes.
TreeMendous Holiday Fun: TIMBERRR!!
Now that we’ve had our fill, how do we go about defoliating the Christmas scene?
Sandy n Steve don’t see eye to eye on the majestic pine in their house. Sandy says yea! Steve says “I’m Taking Down the Christmas Tree Now!” Show tune without much exclamation point.
Simply knock it over? Drew Carey’s ‘Whose Line is It Anyway?’ take the Irish Drinking song bit to the “Knocked Over the Christmas Tree” arena. Improv… it’s funny ‘cuz… elephant pants!
It could be an untimely accident, too. “Santa Knocked over the Christmas Tree” is that wordy Roger Miller country that we need more of from David Norris. Presents and a show!
“Tipping over the Christmas Tree” is the jazz swing we need to capture our mood: drunkenness and ennui. Big ups to Beatnik Turtle for the perfect sound for AFTER the season.
Small arms play a part in the un-decorating of John Flynn’s Christmas tree from the “Christmas Balls.” Growling folk that rocks.
Drinking and Christmas trees also spell doom for “Christmas Balls” according to Holy Moly. Punk ‘billy.
Give the kids a turn! Tommy Mulaney’s kids keep “Breaking Christmas Balls.” Oh, wait, this jazzy pop blues is about what a pain those needy offspring are… Ballbreakers!
Assemble the conga line! Carter Conlin and some church kids investigate “Who Put Their Finger Through the Ornament?” with Cuban orchestrated kidsong. (Fret not, Jesus saves the day.)
Farting all the ornaments off is the job of Stinky Ninja against “Three Stinky Christmas Trees.” This cockney toddler nails the kidsong without self indulgent whimsey.
Hey, that gas is flammable. “Burn Down the Christmas Tree” is a pyro’s prize for the holidays. Slick country fun from Abbie Gardner. And she means it.
Even more fun is the polka rock from Piedmont Songbag “Burning the Christmas Tree.” It’s like druidic partying married to Christian solemnity. Hey!
Hey this is easy when the “Christmas Tree’s on Fire.” Holly Golightly uses experimental folk to bring down the house.
Tom Heinl celebrates while trying to put out “The Christmas Tree on Fire” (with a tube sock). Comedy country with one of those tiny toy pianos–segue to church organ & sirens. Good song.
The Lickity-Splits mean love when they screech “You Set My Christmas Tree on Fire.” Raging garage classic rock.
Cledus T. Judd cashes in on his parody “Tree’s on Fire.” It’s no ‘Ring of Fire,’ it’s funnier.
Cowboy saga music accompanies the legend of Chaston and Groditski’s “We Burned the Christmas Tree.” It’s like a family tradition on acid.
Here’s a good time to have The Toilet Bowl Cleaners “Pee on the Christmas Tree” again.
An original, but disturbing method of de-treeing the house comes by way of calliope music from Nicci & The Project. “Santa was Eating the Christmas Tree” turns out to be a dream after all. (Still need therapy.)
How do Christmas trees leave? One children’s song imagines the “Christmas Tree Tango” as an exiting number. Pretty, and pretty messed up.
So now IT’S GONE! Little Willie John and the Three Lads and a Lass bemoan the empty spot from 1953 with “Mommy, What Happened to Our Christmas Tree?” (It was the commies, Will.)