Category: rock

Xmas Dance Party: shag, snowman

Some of the dance crazes out of the ’60s and beyond commanded their own music. Not too many got their own holiday reiteration.

“Do the Snowman” doesn’t mean what you think. It’s a call to dance. Figure it out. The Hollytones have an update for us.

The Crewcuts need a re-mention of their “Dance Mr. Snowman Dance” here. It’s more of a soft shoe, but–white guy scat!

TOUCH OF BLUE ALERT Completely misunderstanding the dance metaphors Ivor Bigguns goes nicely naughty with “You Can’t Have a Shag with a Snowman.” This modern music hall’s not about dancing any more, or is it?

The Bellrays have a handle on the art of the double entendre with their “All I Wanna Do is Shag for Christmas.” It’s definitely dance this time kids, kookie wookie boo-la-rah-rah.

Xmas Dance Party: twist

If one dance gets more than its share of holiday closeup, it’s the twist. Y’know Chubby Checker’s hop.

Now the real stuff, the straight dope, sounds like The Twisting’ Kings and “Xmas Twist.” It’s rock with a Detroit soul, but it’s sincere. It means Y-O-U.

Low key style Los Straitjackets mumble out their “Holiday Twist” so you can catch up to it at any time. Just a warm up.

Usually hilarious, Dave Rudolf tries to sugar coat a mechanical clunker of “Candy Cane Twist.” That sax player wandered in from another song.

Unfortunate as well, The Fairies offer “The Christmas Twist” tentatively as if not sure if we’re allergic. (I am.) This is not rock.

As playful as a puppy with a drum set, Jay Matty lays out his “Merry Twistmas” with a loud backup and a wandering vocal register. So long as you dig he wants you to dance, it’s copacetic.

The respectful update befalls us from Si Cranstoun. “A Christmas Twist” is downright gospel  rock. Amen, scantily dressed twisters.

Syd Straw also modernizes “Christmas Twist” this time with more gnarly electric guitar. Too pretty to really be rock, call it country.

Jack Rabbit Slim tries to recapture “The Christmas Twist” with mush mouth play. Seems idolatrous.

John Rossall simply supplants the original song with the word Christmas. “Christmas Twist” looks like something i got last year.

Cleanse your palate with some tasty bluesy Charlie Starr: “Christmas Twist” is slight and unassuming, but true rock ‘n’ roll.

Dance music today is not the dance music of the twist, but if we twist ’em up together we get a party. Follow the Dino Martinis with their “Twistmas.” Yeah, baby boomer, yeah!

dino_santa

From the movie ‘Twist Around the Clock’ the Marcels lip sync their seminal “Merry Twist-mas.” Yeah, boy. Now it’s happening.

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Monday)

MOR (middle of the road) rock is that symphonic pap you hear in the elevators. Why would you do that to the Beatles… oh, actually they did sound like that.

B’way has killed the musical genre, making most cool tunes sound the same. The cast of “The Drowsy Chaperone” mash sax and ‘ba-doo-wa’ out of doo wop goodness and into harmonious building, building, climax with “Rockin’ Christmas Angel.” Wipe your mouth.

Sha Na Na resuscitated rock for a nostalgic craze in the ’70s which left the door open for all manner of retread revisioning nonsense. Exhibit A: The Hollydays counting their paces through “Christmas Rock ‘N’ Roll.” It’s nostalgic like the Red Scare is nostalgic.

Kid music also has done what it could to ruin rock. The Wiggles desperately want you to sing along with their redundant mundane “Rockin‘ Santa.” Poor sound quality, too many long ‘o’s, nonsense.

Cutting out the (101 Strings) middleman, Bradley Gillis goes for the older crowd with his 1980s styled “Santa is Rocking.” If the band Chicago is rocking, so is this.

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Sunday)

It’s our day of thrash. Rock has grown up but never quit rebelling.

Garage rock has an axe to grind, Santa’s Little Rockerz recall mojo nixon with their rockabilly meets monotonous noise release “Rockin’ with Rudolph.” That boogie woogie piano is monster, but their spirit is pretty pissed off.

More garage, The Fleshtones chant “Super Rock Santa.” Harder to dance to, impossible not to pogo to.

Light metal might be a descriptor for Firing Blanks with their “Rockin’ at Christmas.” This has the hallmarks of rage, but won’t break the lease. Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Also lightened up, Iron Maiden metal up a previous mention (Gary Glitter’s) “Another Rock and Roll Christmas.” Yeah, i guess we didn’t need to go there.

Smudging up the Elton John singsong “Step into Christmas” The Business make punk work out of nonsense. Hats off, chaps.

The Degraders fill my list with “Christmas Twist” (to which i could not in fact dance the twist). All the major garage and metal vitamins are here, kids.

CDM Chartbreakers mock and honor punk with “Rockin’ Little Christmas” an eandearinglittle ditty you just might walk across the room to.

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Saturday)

Rock also stems from country, boogie woogie comes from swing and blues after all. But country has tried to reclaim rock with varying degrees of success.

To clue you in, Cordell Jackson beats the hound dog with “Rock ‘N’ Roll Christmas,” an almost hillbilly country styling of swing. It’s class revolt, so take a step back and revere rock heritage.

Some down home chet atkins pickin’ canevoke rockabilly, but i hear old school country in “Rockin’ Boppin’ Christmas” by Mississippi Queen. Don’t be a square, bubba.

Brooks & Dunn are at their best with “Rockin’ Little Christmas” but is it rock? Nice beat… can dance to it… uh, no.

On the other boot let’s admit, we dig the trailer trash joy of some of that country. So let’s pause for the claus: Trailer Choir country rock “Rockin’ the Beer Gut“–one of those songs that’s funny but still kind of touching. Good old boys.

Overplaying the country (despite the saxophone) Knightsbridge keeps “Rockin’ Little Christmas” little. It’s a dance for two.

Honky tonk plays well into the rock. Christian Serpas & Ghost Town team up for a “Rockin’ ol’ Christmas.” And i believe this would call for a repeat on the jukebox.

Country style rock (a la The Dead, Allman Bros.) mellows the beat with apt guitarification. Twangy singing and–here–zydeco accordian (!) really string it out. “Rock ‘n’ Rolling Santa” by Swamp Doctor and Margherita, cher, doncha know.

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Friday)

Pop rock infiltrated hipster and class struggling revolters as soon as it started, so the scared middle class could feel in fashion.

Check out the big band safety Benny-Lee & The Ken Tones supply with the “Rockin’ and Rollin’ Santa Claus.” Strictly for the schmo from Kokomo.

There’s always room for bubblegum. Gary Glitter swamps up disco, bebop, and country for his “Another Rock and Roll Christmas.” Is he singing or heaving?

Retro Aussies ‘Ol 55 sneak a touch of boogie woogie soul into over-electricalated over-drummed “Rockin’ Xmas.” Little lateral move needed for this dance, just bopping in place would be fine.

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Wednesday)

Load me up with soulful rock!

Just to keep the beat, let’s tip the panama to doo wop as a precursor to rock. No better way than to acknowledge The Hepsters “Rockin’ and Rollin’ with Santa Claus.” It’s a gas.

More doo wop? At your service! Barry and the Highlights twist us into rock inevitability with “Xmas Bell Rock.” My oh my.

The white version would be Jon Cobert relying on brass for his R+B in his “Rockin’ Soul Christmas.” White folks do have soul, it just costs more.

Maybe it’s just me, but i hear Kashief Lindo’s reggae and i hear R+B. Try “Rockin’ Christmas” and tell me what you think.

Huey ‘Piano’ Smith and the Clowns from 1962 deliver “Rock ‘n’ Roll Santa Claus” on time with postage due. It’s R+B! (and maybe a touch of garage disonance)–

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Tuesday)

The explosion of Christmas novelty, music availability, counterculture–rock ‘n’ roll all overlap. So, let’s take a few days to celebrate rock and xmas.

Let’s start near the beginning. The first songs to be called rock were just boogie woogie with a harder guitar line. Have you heard The Moods’s “Rockin’ Santa Claus“? Then you know.

Sandy Baron swings jive into rock with “Swingin’ Santa Claus.” It’s authentic, but not memorable.

Slowing the rock roots way down, “Rockin’ Christmas” plays retro like it’s a fun Vegas show with in-crowd references. But Valentine Green has some loungey-big band chops and makes old-timey rock seem cute.

Can you call boogie woogie rock ‘n’ roll and be done with it? Well, plenty do. The Jeff Archer Group cram some Jerry Lee licks into their “Rockin’ Christmas Boogie” but still sound like Friday night at Shari’s.

More retro wave riders include Robert Wells and Little Mike Watson. Their “A Very Merry Rockin’ Good Christmas” just sounds a bit tired.

Can you call it rock when you can’t understand the words? (Well i presume you can’t.) Try The Renovators with “Rockin’ Good Christmas in Hebrew.” You may feel guilty afterward, but you may dance uncontrollably as well.

The Tractors sound boogie woogie still, but increase the insistency of the beat in this orignery stylin’ of “Rockin’ This Christmas.” Dance to the revolution of the evolution.

Santa Jobs: myth

On the other hand, Santa seeming omnipresent may overload our senses to the point whereas the small minded may discount any of his presence due to his inconceivability.

The Nay-Santers. The dis-en-sant-ed. The incomplete people.

A few songs, then, out of pity, for those deniers who believe Santa’s job is to be nothing.

Sigh.

BLUE ALERT. Nick Helm, comically competing on some singing show, lets his anger out a crack at the revelation that “There Ain’t No Fucking Santa Claus.” Hard rocking, hard feelings.

BLUE ALERT. Driller profanely rages metal against the milk and cookies with their “There’s No Santa Claus.” Even though he doesn’t exist, i think they’d kill him. Jesus, too.

BLUE ALERT. Trick Daddy raps the quandary colorfully with “Ain’t No Santa.” Hrm, maybe this is just a PSA directing kids to believe or end up dead nigas.

Perhaps too drunk to realize what they’re saying The Damned report “There Ain’t No Sanity Clause.” We may have crossed over into more personal garage rock issues.

Let’s stay prog rock and explore the possibility that we’ve merely misplaced the Wise Winterman. Captain Beefheart inspects whether or not “There’s No Santa on the Evening Stage.” It’s the blues.

Jazzy blues also come from Russ Lorenson singing a Barry Manilow number “I Guess there Ain’t No Santa Claus.” I think he’s confusing Santa with basic happiness. …well, that ain’t wrong.

Ron Holden and the Thunderbirds got it figured out. When they ask “Who Sez There Ain’t No Santy Claus?” they mean: who wants to have a horrible, empty life spiraling downward into doom. Rock the doo wop here and BELIEVE.