Category: country

Failure to launch is better than failure at flight. Like Buzz Lightyear, Santa has to land–or fall with style. What’s the opposite of flying?

Hadley Park has a sweet if nasal country cutup “Santa Crashed His Sleigh in Our Garage.” Hope he got to you first.

Now reindeer in general are fine symbols of Christmastime, hailing from the Arctic so it’s always like winter when they’re near. Majestic but adorable. Neutral enough to be portrayed in any mood, in fact. Let’s have fun–in song–with this Xmas staple.

Was there a time “Back Before Santa Had Reindeer“? Wull, Chuck Picklesimer has a story to tell you in fine down home country style. Lissen up, young’n. (Fish?!)

Actual country strumming from Bill and ‘Shakey,’ unfolds the tale of “Woodolph (The Petrified Red-Nosed Reindeer).” He seems noble, but i’m suspecting this might just be a table lamp.

The ‘Rudolph’ song got as famous as the reindeer. In the annals of Xmas music it is Number Two of all songs. So, some took a shot at it (him).

I killed Rudolph–and I liked it! begins “Rudolph Burger… Hold the Nose.” The voice cracking metal from The Pork Guys is more defiant than murderous. So this gets only one shotgun shell.

Mighty Magic Pants rocks out “Rudolph on the Barbecue.” The childish innocence makes the mythivovre more horrible. Two shells.

Jesus Penis growls out the experimental garage rant “Rudolph the Red-Gutted Reindeer.” Ugh. Whatever shells.

Bullshark Comedy turns the worm with “Rudolph Shooting” in which the maligned venison buys a gun at Walmart. BLUE ALERT for this mass shooting ‘humor.’

Fortress of Attitude’s cowboy yarn “I Shot Rudolph and I’m Sorry” is an amazing genre send-up and gets all the shells.

“I Shot Rudolph” is the country stomper about the fraud perpetrated by Todd O’Neill. It warren’t him. Shells waived.

Vixen is adored, adorned, and adulterated–but she can take it. Unless she’s a he.

Cledus T Judd clears the barroom with twangy country in “Dang It, I’m Vixen.” Jealous of Rudolph, he’s looking for tail, but not reined. Holee cow.

Time to close out our interjection tour of holiday tunes. So long!

Lay was kind enough to submit an English version of his hit “Goodbye Christmas.” Heartbroken soulful pop.

Very high notes from Manuel Seal Jr. (feat. Morgan Reilly) also feels alone in the pop world. “Goodbye Christmas” is too cold for the R+B infusion.

More sadness from 5 Alarm with “Goodbye on Christmas Eve.” R+B says why you gotta do me that way?!

Whispery begging begins Gaurav Behl’s “Christmas Goodbye.” Then continues its experimental pop. Probably ends that way. I didn’t wait.

“Merry Christmas and Goodbye” is blues rock of some serious talent from Los Goutos. Way to stand up to the breakup.

Put out, Derek Ariel Austin spins a yarn in “Goodbye Christmas” a folk ballad of leaving. A well done bummer.

Getting specific, “Goodbye Christmas Cookie” shakes, rattles, and rolls with love and loss. Holy moley, hats off to Armanwing.

Getting religious, Cowboy Jukebox wishes “Christmas Goodbye” but holds on to God. Tinkly country.

Getting personal, the bluesy rock of “Goodbye Psychotic Christmas” from My Son the Bum tells a story.

Procrastinating, Ohio City Singers roll polka into pop with “Haven’t Said Goodbye to Christmas.” Call it post present blues.

Jimmy Rankin flips the script with passable Elvis-style soul in “Don’t Wanna Say Goodbye to Christmas Yet.” Country maudlin.

Ever had one of those years where the calendar says Dec. 26 and you don’t know how it got that way? Me neither. But these guys.

It IS possible! The Martini Kings get all ragtime jazzy with “(Whiskey Song) I Slept Through Christmas Day.” This needs relearning, friends of Bill.

Kaz Murphy gets all cowboy with his regret in “Christmas was Yesterday.” Divorced dad unfulfilled promises sung in the best way possible.

Just like waiting until the kids are grown and moved out, some couples keep it together until the holidays are over. Otherwise you have to explain it to the parents, and you lose out on couples’ presents, and you miss out on one last drunk hookup….

Authentic country twang (BEFORE 1970, y’all) from Terry Fell becries “Let’s Stay Together ’til After Christmas.” Heartbreaking, nerve-wracking, ear-hurting.

Raising the roof, Sweet Spirit wants to know about the continued offerings once “Christmastime is Over.” Will it be tokens of love? Girl retro rock.

Hooting and crooning, Datsen offers that “After Christmas” you can get your divorce papers. Just wait a bit, wouldja? Sad folk.

Joseph Bradshaw and Nikki Lane go full George Jones/Tammy Wynette with “Wait ’til After Christmas.” This melodic sparring match juices up the holidays with side eye and subvocal venom. Gave me shivers.