Presents of Mine: the old switcheroo

Santa gives presents. How ’bout we reciprocate? (No–above and beyond milk and cookies.)

Let’s Give a Present to Santa Claus” from Rosemary Clooney is so syrupy the best she can offer is peace and goodwill to men. That’s the present. Jesus.

Chanting kidsong from Scott Fagan also cornerstones the love we feel for the Big Deliverer. “A Christmas Present for Santa Claus” seems to be the present. Hope you kept the receipt.

Eddy Arnold leaves a cooler “Present for Santa Claus:” a flashlight! Useful (if no Rudolph)!

Although Raymond Wolf subvocalizes his tambourine pop “A Present for Santa,” i think he wants to give charity. What?

WATCH OUT–Sarah Taylor claims “I’ve Got a Present for Santa” but seems to have to be undressed to give it. Bossa nova suggestive jazz for a present you can actually get your hands on.

Presents of Mine: labels

The object of presents for Christmas is the name on the tag.

Chorale from de Caribbean a la 1955 outlines a husband’s troubles with “Christmas Present for Sallie.” It’s scurrilous alcoholic behavior by black men. (Yogi Yorgesson addressed this, too, y’know.) You do the math for the entertainment value here.

Bill Engvall also goes for the cliches with the talky country rock “A Gift that She Doesn’t Want.” It’s hard to be a hubby. (Hey, when he gives autographs, does he say ‘Here’s your sign’?)

Spending for the wife is so easy, why not sing about it! The Connection brag about “Money Honey Baby,” even though she says she doesn’t really want anything. Retro rock with a dash of ‘billy. A-huh.

Also reductivist, Brock Hires worries about “A Present for Hobo Bill,” who doesn’t have much to wear. (Lots of men’s wives got this problem.) Giving fulfills the liberals. Honky tonk mediocrity.

Alt rock for the insiders, “Christmas Shopping for Dobby” by Harry and The Potters shrills about the irony of getting clothes for Christmas, and yet how meaningful that can be. Hmm.

An alt-pop love song, “A Christmas Gift for Iris” awakens the need in me to listen to obscure ’70s Brit rockers who tried solo albums to little effect. Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers acquit themselves beuatifully.

Just as lovestruck, Too Much Joy sings “Ruby Left a Present Underneath My Christmas Tree” altrock i’ve mentioned before. (Doesn’t matter what it is, i guess.)

Hard-working folk music from Robin Lee Berry celebrates “Woody\’s Christmas Present.” A time travel epic about rediscovering childhood wonder. Get ready to cry.

Presents of mine: just the song, ma’am

Writing a song about a Christmas gift and stuck for a concept…? How about the song as the gift, you tautologist!

Bill Craft admits ‘this gift has no value’ in “A Gift of Song.” But it’s passable bluegrass.

Nugu Buyeng screwed up and got her “No Christmas Present.” Gets BLUE, backpedals, then tries to cover his ass claiming this song is the present. Lame-o. But fair folk rock rap.

Tommy Wiseau (awful movie “The Room”) has the gift of a “Christmas Song for You.” It’s almost worse than you suspect.

Kem has a ‘hey girl’ “Christmas Song for You.” I bet he got you something else, he’s that good. Slow soul.

Howard Livingston & Mile Marker 24 didn’t know what to get you. He went with his strengths. So “A Christmas Present” here is his mellow country. It’s for his mom and dad. Sentimental, and a spelling lesson.

Just say it. “This Song is Your Christmas Gift.” I hope you like it. It’s better than nothing. Pop from Fairmont. (Perhaps a veiled threat in there.)

Presents of Mine: oh, i dunno, toys, or stuff

What do you ask for Christmas when your mind goes blank? Well, Ralphie?

Kid parang from Mýaand Josh proclaim the need for toys in “Christmas Gift.” Many possibiliteis get listed (but no socks!).

More vague is the execrable TV movie jingle with the toys singing “I Wanna be a Christmas Present.” Supposedly Kenny Rogers is in there somewhere.

A much better gift POV alt-pop song comes from Juju Garcia. “Christmas Gift” is a fun exploration of creativity just this side of improv.

Pinkie Pie (of My Little Pony) sadly figures actual presents don’t matter so much in a Ritalin Dixieland rousing version of “Pinkie’s Present.” Exhausting.

Flip it! Suzy Arnowitz suggests “Let’s Bring Presents to the Bad Kids” based on some kids book.  (Wow–toboggans, books, and planes!) Concertina pop!

While on the subject “What do Bad Girls Get?” asks Joan Osborne. Smokey electric blues.

Bilbo Kipler gothraps “Gift Rap” as praise for all the swag, bitch.

Presents of Mine: specifically BLUE

Very special presents might be behind closed doors.

Two for one: NewSong’s “The Christmas Shoes” is a merciless manipulator of mush (poor kid wants his dying mom to git a present). The Robert Lund parody “The Christmas Thong” slaps middle class morality ‘cross the balls. Thank you, Spaff.

Margaret Cho and Red Peters open “The Christmas Gift.” It’s fellatio. BLUE ALERT

I’ll let you work out the naughtiness of the riddim from Popcaan in “Christmas Gift.” Yes, it’s BLUE. But a great dance tune.

I like the sly sultry bluesy jazz of BadaBing BadaBoom better. “I’m Your Present” says Go Mae West, Young Man. Double entendre rawr.

Presents of Mine: oddly specific

More weird presents for JC-Day.

Obvi parodies include “I Want a Hypothalamus for Christmas” by Danny Birt. It’s only a minute, and seems to be a lovely neurological lesson–until we learn how the gift is achieved.

Ursula Burns and Donal Scullion get weird with the gift of a nuclear power station in the sly folk sweetness “Every Day of the Year.” Got a little agenda on you there.

Seth McFarland weighs in with “I Want a Gun for Christmas” from American Dad. Pop rock-lite.

The Blenders a cappella “I Bought You a Plastic Star,” but make it sexy. Huh. Bohuslän Big Band make it swing.

I hope you’ve heard “Millennium Falcon for Christmas” by John Arnealio. I posted it before. It’s boss. And heartbreaking. And folk/rock.

Best Christmas gift ever? “The Murple’s Magic Hat” seems to be the wish of infinite wishes, according to the kidrapblues from A Halo Called Fred. Must hear this.

First Atom crows how “I Bought You a Sweater.” Is that hipster lingo for something i should know about? Bouncy alt-pop, it’s in the spirit of the holiday, hey.

Presents of Mine: specificity

Don’t get me just Anything for Xmas!

A BIKE! “Jimmy’s Christmas Present” is that kidsong that rocks from Jimmy Giggle. Well, dadrocks.

  1. The same presents that keep on giving include: “A Cadillac Under My Christmas Tree” by Bad Detectives. Jingly ‘billy.
  2. A Guitar Beneath the Tree” by Silent Stranger. Folk reflection that cranks up some hair rock.
  3. A ’55 telecaster Under My Tree” by John Jorgenson and Carlene Carter. Road rock with a country twang.
  4. Santa Bring Me a Dinosaur” (a NEW version) by ME ‘n’ JB. Kidchorus.
  5. War Toys for Christmas” by Roy Zimmerman (the originator of the song). Poppy folk irony.
  6. A Christmas Cat Song” by JibJab worries about the exact right gift for Jesus. Singsong folk.
  7. Swiss Colony Beef Log” (a FUNDRAISER cover) by Brandi Bigley. The South Park Christmas classic showtune revisited.

Familiar, but unsung here, Chris Farren beats hard on “Christmas Guitar.”Garage whining ‘cuz he busted the old guitar. Good luck, chuck.

Try one more new post from Joe Quesada and Idlechatters: “Ultimate Comic Gift.” Rock’n’roll with Elvis impersonation included. (Collectors note the ridiculous lengths comics go to reissue.)

Presents of Mine: greedier

You want more greed? How much more do you want?!

Repeated, but most appropriate, comedy from Mr. Rodney Carrington showcases his country swing in “The Presents Under the Tree (Better be for Me).” Narcissism is always a hoot.

Big Freedia (from The Office Christmas Party soundtrack) wants and wants (mostly cars and booty) is the party screamer “Make it Jingle.” Urban dance that won’t stop.

BLUE ALERT Lil Jon rap parody “Buy Me Presents” also gets carnal while asking for everything in sight.

Men and Machine shine a light on gimmie-ism with the bluesy electronica “Christmas Greed.” Dated but timeless ’90s screeching.

Parody help from Duncan G with Brian: “One More Gift for Us” takes its cue from Queen’s ‘Bite the Dust.’ (Mostly dissatisfied, the wankers.)

Brit punk is always about the class struggle. This time with suggestions, EDBM (feat. Sid Crowe) preach “Season’s Greedy.” Help!

Presents of Mine: greed

The need for gifts can overtake a weaker mind.

Rappy McRapperson reprises one of my favorite grabby bits “Gimme Stuff for Christmas.” Comedy rap.

Ria Mae is puckish and hesitant with her alt “Gimme My Presents (Take the Bows Off).” Nice experimental take on the kid-near-insanity POV.

PROCACK delivers us Michael Prokop’s helium-voice hiphop in “Gimme My Presents.” A diverting trifle.

Screechy little girl vocals in Greencastle Homer’s “I Want Presents.” Cutesy big band kidsong.

Affecting Bela Lugosi (or is it Family Guy‘s Stewie?) (or the Grinch?), Jerry Becker swings big band fun for “Christmas Presents.” To hell with the pretense, bring on the presents!

More punk than selfish, The Elftones amp up the tone for “Get Some Present.” Tinsel, too, guys?

Presents of Mine: scooby doo unmasks santa BLUE

Of all the great Santa-brought-gifts songs, the funniest can cut to the big reveal–it’s Dad!

Or some truckers… “Christmas Gift Convoy” from The Hot Rolls is country done road. Toot toot.

Simply questioning “The Christmas Delivery System” Nat James comically addresses his problems to the folk song syndicate to solve this magic trick. Danceable.

Brian O’Sullivan goes BLUE with the lively folk number “Santa Song.” Kids, look away!

My favorite is Nick Helm from a couple years ago “There Ain’t No Fuckin’ Santa Claus.” Brit hard rock.