Presents of Mine: bad paper

How can anyone misconstrue the innocent notion of wrapping Christmas gifts?

Spongebob Square Pants (feat. Patrick) ruins the joy with their hyperactive hijinks in “Pretty Ribbons and Bows.” Hard rock screaming for the kiddos.

Shifinger have a whole ‘nother use for our product with “Xmas Paper up My Arse.” Be assured, it was out of absolute necessity. Colorful punk.

Dr. BLT (feat. Gary LaDuke) repurpose our topic with “Wrap It up,” which is not about paper at all–it’s about (shhh) protecting the gift below the belt. Not exactly blue bluesy folk.

ADHD time in the (un)wrapping dept. Porter Christensen’s “Bubble Wrap Rap” seems to be harmless white hip hop about a boy and his love of packaging. Then–fight scene!

DG also works that naughty idea with “Wrap It Like a Christmas Present.” Wandering rap full of double meanings. Possibly funny STD PA.

Nickolodeon (yeah, the pay cable channel people used to watch) warn us what might happen to all that disregarded wrapping paper afterwards with “Randall the Wrapping Paper Monster.” Run! Hide! Recycle!