Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: kids 5

Reworking tykes’ classics with snowmen in the lyrics is a shortcut to getting kids to singalong, like with superhero movies that just change the colors of the costumes.

“5 Little Snowmen” reworks ‘5 Little Monkeys’ jumping on the bed. Oh My Genius makes this lively with a touch of bluegrass and bopping sfx. Hee hee.

Kiboomers’s “5 Little Snowmen” is redundant and complacent though. They don’t hurt different parts at all. Oh well.

David Hudspeth downs the tempo with “Five Little Snowmen” focusing on their demises. Dark. (Is he playing a bouzouki?)

There’s also ‘I’m a Little Snowman’ sung to ‘I’m a Little Teapot.’ It’s all ready to go for kids three and up. Short and cold.

Singing Hands embodies the horrific in kid songs with “I’m a Little Snowman.” All the joy is marched into syncopation, all the talent is colored between the lines.

Super Simple Songs ups the temp a bit with “I’m a Little Snowman” and round and around they go. Skippit.

Heidi Burgess creates a new melody for the old saw. One note, but insistent. I say brava.

Kiboomers are back to let us know the snowman can be round not fat. But it’s the polka liveliness that rescues “I’m a Little Snowman” here. I don’t want to just sing along. I want to be the godammt snowman.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: kids 4

One sidenote to the whole kids’ snowmen is the big deal 1978 book The Snowman by Raymond Briggs made into a British big deal animated special in 1982 and which plays around Christmastime across the pond every year.

The ethereal ultrasonic soprano song “We’re Walking in the Air” became a 1985 hit for Aled Jones who did not sing it in the cartoon, but released it as a single when a teen. Thirty years later he released it a duet with himself. Freaky.

Andy Burrows dropped a prog rock song “Light the Night” in the 2012 TV sequel ‘The Snowman and the Snowdog.’

The original ‘Walking’ has been coopted by the crystal-gazers as an out-of-body/Wiccan trip. Finnish group Nightwish does an over-orchestrated dance version i could get naked and flail around to. Prog-celtic. (This is lite-metal. Fuller metal like from Woods of Infinity harshes the vibe. Ick.)

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: kids 3

Kids want to sing and dance and learn at the hands of songs their betters ditto upon them.

Maple Leaf Learning has a sly pop number in “The Snowman Song” about a happy inanimate who wants to play but keeps melting away and then refreezing. Secular resurrection, anyone?

My Vox’s Michelle Schooff pops a cork with her pop “The Snowman” about those magical constructs that walk around while you’re asleep, like in those horror movies you’re not supposed to stay up for. Lots of calisthenics here.

The “Snowman Polka” is a creepy night-only dance from Deborah Malena and Garth Phillipsen. But kids need therapy less than us.

David Chicken enlists the kids to bop a doodle doo with “Snowman the Bop.” Socks out, kids!

Shake a leg for the party at the “Snowman’s Cafe.” Elizabeth McMahon conducts the ragtime fun.

“The Snowman Went Waltzing One Christmas” is a sad tale of looking for the right partner from Das Grumps Bavarian Band. Grampa would like it. Better than you think.

ATTENTION PLEASE: MORAL COMING. Captain Kangaroo narrates the “The Littlest Snowman” to teach us about friendship and bravery and stuff. Come on.

“Blingy the Snowman” reminds Gil Bezy of winter, and song, and Jesus. Kidsong or drug trip?

Caspar Babypants brings the adults into the room to see what the kids are listening to with danceable folk polka “I Wanna Be a Snowman.” Mmm, that’s good ball stacking.

Phil Keaggy rescues the genre with a quiet folk elegy, “The Snowman Song.” It’s thoughtful and reflective and touching, but keeping a departed one’s eyes and heart in jars in your room may not set examples we want children to follow.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: kids 2

Can we get cool for the kids? Snowman songs i can get behind.

Phranc wonders about the flexibility of the frosty one, i mean does the “Hanukkah Snowman” dress the part? Folk figure it out. Oh ho ho.

Frosty’s brother comes to us from South of the border. Lana Rae sings “Henry the Snowman” for the left out siblings.

Pop fun from Rosenshontz chanting out “Snowman” jazzy fun until you have to join in, or run.

Hip hop for the baby “Snowman” is as surprising as you’d think. RhapCD is in it for the young.

Uptempo jazz for the wee, “Mister Snowman” from Kathy Belmont and Michelle Amato grooves.

A highly fashionable song for the preschool rabble would be “Once There was a Snowman” as presented by Lori Ann Stewart. Very short, saccharine, and pithy. I mean, what’s the deal with the embedded lesson of All Things Die? Can’t kids just watch a Disney movie to learn that?

But the irony is not lost on Klaus Schwietzer whose “Nihilist Performance of ‘Once There was a Snowman’” introduces tots to a sense of humor at least.

InsideOut A cappella has hit gold with their take off–a history of music odyssey entitled “Once There Were Some Snowmen.” A few years later they even added a isn’t-that-enough? sequel (i like it more) “In the Sun They Melted (Snowmen II).” This is for the kids, but it makes me happier than they.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: kids 1

The snowman may be a tradition of a thousand years, certainly written references can be found from more than 500 years ago. Whether as a ward, or porn, or simple sculpture (free materials!) this figure has excited our imagination–especially at the holiday season.

Way too many songs of the snowman are meant to excite children, or perhaps dull our own wits (same thing?). So week one will be about the sometimes talented, sometimes tedious, always enthusiastic kidsmusicka.

So we’ll start with the invitation and the DIY how-tos.

I know of no good reason to include the Disney ‘Frozen’ nonsense here. Except for an odd Classical Latin translation from Keith Massey (with questionable syntax). (altho, gosh, i am partial to “Do You Want to Be a Mormon?” from Seth Daybell.)

Conway Twitty slums into the funny-voiced sidekick duet country wishing for snow for “Johnny Snowman.” Gotta start with the snow, man. Deana Carter saves this mess with an update.

Heidi Songs gives us more of what we want. “Let’s Build a Snowman!” is short, jittery, and shrilly upbeat.

Nursery Rhymes by Little Fox utilize ‘O Susannah’ as the basis for their “Build a Snowman.” Proceed with caution.

Sparkle & Shine demonstrate why bearded big guys don’t usually teach the tots. “The Snowman Chant” attempts to dub the step, but embarrasses all.

A real head scratcher comes from Singer Dr. B. “Wonderful Snowman” is an odyssey of creation and discovery and kid celebration. I can’t explain more than that. Oh man.

Slow country from Lee and Sandy Paley who make “Snowman Joe” just for you. If you name them, it’s harder to lose them. (Oreo eyes? A banjo to bring him to life?!)

Gospel saves the day when Homemadesoul handclaps and enlifts with “Snowman” building. Go!

Despite the chatty-chat, Bill Hooper keeps it cool with his “Snowman” directions. Rock on.

E(everyone)L(oves)F(un) Learning has a underdeveloped tutorial with some mean tambourine: “Let’s Build a Snowman.” It goes slowly, so you should be able to keep up.

Snow Way: no where

Some locales are hemispherically challenged and can only see Xmas snow on Turner Classic Movies or Lifetime Channel. Does that make you sing? Does it?

Branded Duo have a nice country irony in “White Christmasses in Houston.” No snow. Nice swing.

Boogie Woogie zydeco from Allen Toussaint, “The Day It Snows on Christmas” posits the sad impossibility of a White Loozey-Anna Christmas.

Bombadil is more alt pop with “No Snow in the Valley.” Less Christmas, more message.

“No Snow for Christmas” is Tracey Jane Smith’s Xmas card for family from her hellish hole in Florida. They have it rough playing in the pool, and watch out for the last couple minutes of home movies. Roy Peter Clark also pisses and moans about “Christmas Without Snow” in Florida. He does sing slightly better than the Smith children. Piano bar.

“The Tropical Christmas (No Snow? It Doesn’t Bother Me)” is old Brit music hall rock and while it doesn’t get destination specific, makes the point party-ifically.

Nā Hoa ship us to more tropics with “Christmas Without Snow.” Hawaiian yodeling.

Electronica reggae! Billy Paul Williams raises the truth with “No Snow in Jamaica.” Testify!

Is this political? “No Snow in Africa This Christmas” from Puddock Stew is unplugged protest folkrock.

Mr. O gets gnarly with “Christmas in Hong Kong.” No snow is part of the angst he rocks off his chest.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brq_oNHiyxw

Snow Way: just say no BLUE ALERT

The lack of snow is not just another day in December… it makes a statement.

Reese Lansangan is one of those talents you can’t understand is only on Youtube. Her fluent folk pop “No Snow” makes you believe in the poetry of young love.

Anuhea sings “No Snow” as exotic island beat, which makes you wonder how do they know about snow?

More hula-inspired honky tonk in “No Snow for Christmas” from Maureen McElheron.

Brian Protheroe has to make “No Snow Blues” about not getting love, but it’s so bluesy.

Blues rock from Lucky Luke in the form of “No Snow This Christmas.” Makes Elvis cry.

Graffiti6’s “No Snow” goes jazzy wailing over that loss of that girl that time of year.

Stephen Simmons gets cynical with “No Snow on the Ground.” Jazz ballad hates Xmas.

Stefanie Eskew bemoans inappropriate tropical paradises with her hard folk “No Snow.”

Pet Shop Boys, yes the most successful recording duo from the UK, bemoan the lack of standardization with “It Doesn’t Often Snow at Christmas.” It’s meant to do, y’see. Synthpop.

Boon & Millz make the Whoville case “No Snow for Christmas“: love only, nuttin else.

Ditto from NexCyx’s R+B pop “We Don’t Have Snow.” But they do have Christmas cliches!

Etc. from James Henson and his backroom amateur “There’s No Snow at Christmas.” We get it, especially via dad folk rock.

Celine Rae & The 20-73 party rock us with “Christmas Without Snow.” Now it’s all okay.

Chris Messtree (fet. Nico Laus) (yeah, it’s a joke) go prog electronic with “No Snow for Christmas.” BLUE ALERT German influenced chanting, so it like it.

Joe Pesci has a cute novelty number “If It Doesn’t Snow on Christmas” (A cover of the Gene Autry ’49 semi-hit). Have you heard the BLUE ALERT naughty version?!

Snow Way: hate it

Tired of all the snow? Starting to hate it? Want to go after it with the curling iron? Then listen….

G. Salvia says it outright: “I Hate the Friggin’ Snow!” Home grown rock strumming, ahuh. Fishing God Productions has a better version.

Bill Morgan goes so far as to say “I Hate Snow” but he means Christmas snow. Showtune with Russian influences.

John Mitchell opens the door to parodies. His ‘Let It Snow’ take off “I Hate Snow” delivers what his funny uncle mustache promises.

Lorelei Savaryn continues the parody parade with “I Hate Snow” as a ‘Let It Go’ parody. Slightly more wit, certainly a longer song. Howard Teschner, too.

The “No Snow Song” posted by ronniebus is parody of Ringo’s ‘No No Song’ but i still think it’s good. Listen.

skwank has posted a charming Brit punk screamer “I Hate Snow.” Mildly jolly profanity.

John Wayne Donovan gooses his inner Elvis for “I Hate Snow.” Leans into that guitar good.

Canadian teen Austin Thomas confides “I Really Hate Snow.” Northern bluegrass fun.

Steven Lyons gargles his country singing for “Santa, I Hate the Snow.” Be a man.

Wendy Jans strings along the country sound to a soulful “Don’t Let it Snow.” Some range.

Tampa Stan tries to be funny with “I Hate Snow.” Oompah rock.

Reacting to a messed up year (tragedy?) alexxx sings “I Hate Snow” and everything that goes with it. So there.

Snow Way: too too too

Can’t stop the snow! Must adapt or play!

Children’s Christmas Songs and Stories frolics with “The Snow is Here to Stay.” Upbeat.

Wm. Fitzsimmons whispers gentle alt-folk with “Covered in Snow.” You’ll learn to love it.

Hot Buttered Elves get dangerously garage with “Too Much Snow.” Drugs were involved.

Nipsey deals out protest rockabilly with “Too Much Snow.” He might mean on the TV.

Peter Vesth plays some lounge country ‘with friends’ for “Too Much Snow on the Ground.”

Tender country pickin’ from Wendell Ferguson (feat. Katherine Wheatley) in “99 Feet of Snow.” Snuggly fun.

Bel Air has some driving difficulties bc of “Too Much Snow.” Gnarly garage crooning.

Snow Way: in

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING? You’re welcome, you conspicuous consumers.

As a sequel to Snow Day–this time for newly adults who don’t have that school-age connection–the romance of being stuck together can get all stoked and flaming. Mindy Smith’s folky “Snowed In” is pretty hot. Her smokey vocal is asking for just-us.

Likewise Breathe Carolina wanna spend all night to get it right for their electronic pop “Snowed In.”

In the same vein Chance the Rapper and Jeremih beat out “Snowed In” for Li’l Mama.

Moreover Martin Carlberg feat. Tanja Doko (from the free Epidemic Sound Music Library) delivers the dream of jazz time with you “Snowed In.” Cool cat, cool kitty.

What’s more Over the Rhine lowers the lights for adult jazz with “Snowed in with You.”

Additionally Kyle Kupecky pops the pop with his teenybopperish “Snowed In.” He’s so pretty!

Ditto, John Berry ‘s “Snowed In” country adores you (in a church approved way).

Encore! Dani & Lizzy got cuddling in mind for their “Snowed In.” Jazzier pop this time.

Alternately J. Christopher hollers some ’80s sounding pop about young love, “Snowed In.”

Haven’t i heard this already? “Snowed In” by Twin Kennedy is sultry country neediness.

Not as certainly, Haley Green has alt-regrets she’d like to fix being “Snowed In” with you.

Making the best of the bad news Linda Davis goes classic country with “Snowed In Christmas.” JJ Nolis gives us the guy take on it.

Ultimately Albert Collins lays down some mean electric blues (and found poetry) for his talky “Snowed In.” It’s not a happy day for ol’ Al.