Year-round Yuletide oddities
Let’s unroll some serious music to celebrate 12/26-1/1. Our spiritual black roots are showing.
Lovely Hoffman has some pop soul to dance and soar to. “A Kwanzaa Song” feels like gospel. That sounds right.
Tribal gospel from The Kwanzaa Gospel Chorus: “7” is a piece of power and inspiration. Try to keep your seat.
An island beat informs “Happy Kwanzaa” from Fanoko Singers. You should be able to learn the words pretty quick, bahs.
In the spirit of Juneteenth, the Black Power movement in the 1960s USA embarked on a holiday for the cultural values shared by those with a proud African heritage. Others can stand outside the circle and learn a little of the seven principles.
By way of introduction, a children’s chorus from Kutsal Gun intone the honorarium “O Kwanzaa.” It’s for the kids! Be ready to take notes (the song repeats because there’s so much information)!
Trying for more authenticity, Quaver Music’s “Kwanzaa Celebration” uses more drumming. Seven days, class–who wants the time off?
The African-American Mr. Rogers NGUZO SABA recites “The Kwanzaa Song” to a badass backbeat, rap with values. He’s friendly, but morally authoritative. Heed to his Herbie Hancock backdrop.
This mishmash of holiday observances might be blamed on The O.C. yes that old TV series from the early ’00s which popularized Chrismukkah as some compromise between the (white) winners and (other) losers.
Michael Taub’s “Chrismukkah Song” is adorable klezmer pop and calling on all partiers.
More homegrown jpv91’s “Chrismukkah Song” lays down the beat to the four winds. Strong song. Let your folk flag fly!
Watch For Rocks ft. Ted Organ from Darkness Dear Boy moves more seamlessly (less seamily??) from one side to the other with “The Chrismukkah Song.” Folk pop of the upbeat persuasion. (The mashups are a bit much, bit still…) St. Nikki & The Driedels do this way more mindlessly pop (without the mashups).
Just enough fun songs to continue to mock the holy trinity of cultural clash around the shortest day of the year.
“The Worst Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa Song Ever Written or Sung” by Tony Caravan is word jazz of slight merit. Techno meh.
Virgin Mobile ran a series of song ads about “Chrismahanukwanzakah” with a peppy pop ensemble that somehow came off as reverent. The nerve!
Master crassman Heywood Banks calls on the capitalists’ gods with “It’s a Ramadan-Hannakah-Christmas-Kwanza-Pagan-Solstice Time.” It’s fast folk and Bob and Tom rated.
Matt Roach folk stomps out “Merry Christmahanukwanzaa” with tongue in sneering cheek. Whoa. Now you know.
There’s the old joke of the old old man who is visited by a different leader of faith every hour on his deathbed. When his children ask why all the curiosity he admits he has converted seventeen times “…just in case.”
So craven are the songs that celebrate everything all at once.
Tia Micula and the Cape Henry Middle Schoolers sing “Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah” as a bouncy assignment in multiculturalism. Now i don’t anything.
Jon Cozart harmonizes himself with “Progressive Christmas Carols.” This is the sketch act of carol parodies, hit-and-miss. Great pipes. Some wit about the intolerance of each of the holidays.
“Christma-Hanu-Rama-Ka-Dona-Kwanzaa” by Roy Zimmerman is a sketch of an idea of a bit. Let this one ferment a while longer.
Altogether now! “A Christmas/kwanzaa/solstice/chanukah/ramadan/boxing Day Song” by Christine Lavin & The Mistletones layers the holidays (including one at the opposite time of year) in a medieval round that you’ll want to drift you gently down the stream.
Having a bit more sense of humor, Christine Lavin & The Mistletones continue with a mashup of the holidays and song genres with “The All Purpose Christmas Carol.” Daylight come and me wanna go one more time.
Call the Christmas Queens when you want to enliven your stale Holiday office party of uncertain denominations. Ginger Minj sings “Christma-Hannu-Kwanzaa-Ka” with just the right pop jazz sass. Is it offensive? (Maybe to eggs.) Shut up and dance!
Christmas isn’t the only day of the year. Mercy, it isn’t even the only celebration of December. It’s that time of the year to take a breather and explore our options.
First off, let’s address the reindeer in the room: How are you even asking about OTHER holidays? Certes, i address Hanukkah semi-irregularly ‘cuz it was Jesus’ Christmas. But why the wandering eye, you cheater?
A couple songs to bask in the confusion of the competition.
Demi Adejuyigbe plays the War on Christmas card with his racist “I Hope You Have a Very Merry Holiday.” The big three (Hanukkah-Kwanzaa-Christmas) fight it out here, although the C-word is never said aloud. Fun, chatty country.
On the other side “Christmas Isn’t Real” according to JMaq (Shark Uppercut) who pop raps the electronica with some secular humanist bummery.
Bill Wurtz brings the lite pop of a sitcom musical intro for his “Christmas isn’t Real.” It’s like a calendar on acid. And continues to bring Xmas into question.
There’s more July?!
Okay, let’s try yet another holiday family song.
Barnes and Barnes chant-threats “Hanukkah at Our House” with all the joy of a comedy routine. Mazels to you and yours.
Alternatively, December sex can be observed between a Jew and a Jewess.
Goldentusk ragtimes “Sex for Hanukkah” with such speed you know he’s trying to dazzle into something. And he does.
Foul language against the competition as well? Sam Hill right! Get on board the cursing cruise as we drive-by Kwanzaa and Hanukkah too!
Thugzy Bunnie cracks me up with his hippity hip hop smashing on all winter celebrations out at the mall, beginning with “Fuck Christmas.”
Cuntgod rattles off the standard list with “Fuck Hanukkah.” Clotted metal punk with a hint of klezmer. Get the guy a lozenge.
The Skivvies (in their underwear) practice “It’s F*cking Hanukkah” for us live. Whitey rap is so hilario.
Much more positive, but also only a draft, “Light the Fucking Candles” from Eva Moon & the Lunatics calls on the Chosen to get with it. Fun folk rock.
The anti-Simpsons barfed and farted briefly, before it was taken up as a cause célèbre by the slacker generation and became to big to fail, despite the best efforts of boy-men writers.
Comedy Christmas bits include the “Peter Griffin Christmas Album” full of mumbly, nonsensible parodies. Hee hee. Oh, and an ironic take on “Jesus Child” as brainwashed braying of the brethren. Bazinga!
Rerun: the best are the big musical numbers like “Christmas Time is Killing Us” (black humor), and “All I Really Want for Christmas” (naughty).
The later series leans on more groovy music. “The Steve and Krampus Duet” is an R+B jewel in a sad ‘Beauty and Beast’ takeoff. Not much Christmas here, but it’s got Slavic tradition.