Hooray for Sabadu! Gorgeous metal novelty “Polish Christmas” has a 1942 Polish Santa shooting Hitler ’til he died. Glorious bastard.
.
Category: metal
Name Seven, etc., too
I guess it’s an underdog thing, to include the final two of Santa’s reindeer as a team. I thought it was every stag for itself.
But here’s a metal thrashing saga about “Donner and Blitzen” from Rob Halford that might shine a new light on those minxes. Feel free to compare that to Thor‘s rockabilly influenced metal cover.
Name Three
Prancer is a fun reindeer name. Probably inspires fun songs.
“The Head of Prancer” is what happens to noisy neighbors in the wrong ‘hood. Santa’s Angry Elves ease up on their usual metal thrashings to make merry with this prey animal.
ad silentnitum, interminable
Did we return to lonely Christmasses without you yet? We never left! Let’s uncover the charts….
“Another Holiday” is electro-R+B/rap from Kinney wishing for it to be okay. He’s not fooling anybody. Well, himself.
“Another Wonderful Christmas” is the sloshy squealy sentiment of Gee! It’s Here! Yay! Joey + Rory’s aw shucks country stylings make it down home. (Then, shh, at the end… heh heh, she gets all fed up! Now it’s my favorite!)
Nashional (feat. Vincent Vega) twangs out the country sadness with “Another Christmas with You Gone.” He can’t go on. But his song does.
Metal time: Stranglehold makes the point that Xmas is merely “Another Night Alone.” The pain is visceral. So are the drums.
Xmas Tech Support: hacking
Once we have computers, we have all the troubles of the world.
“The Grinch Hacked Santa’s Computer” claim Lil Poverty Angels with their stream of Christmas-ness rap improv.
“Santa Claus’s Files have been Hacked by the NSA” by Funny Once is the song you expect, not the song you deserve. Tired pop metal.
WHAT ELSE? Metal Pole
The alternative holiday Festivus should inspire punk and metal and other angry protest music. It does, after a fashion.
Atomic Potato has a rousing ska-polka “Festivus Song” that might get your feet stomping.
Hijackalope uses mixed media with mixed results for their “Festivus.” One thing for sure, it’s punk. No wait, it’s garage. No, it’s experimental. Sigh
Alt-punk adds thoughtfulness to “A Festivus Miracle” from Venice Sunlight. Quite a ride.
Mr. Plow screeches out the metal for a “Festivus” anthem that pays tribute to paying tribute. I merely bobbed for this one.
Rushed punk from 125 and I Love You! makes noise about struggling against society, but it’s entitled “A Festivus for the Rest of Us.” That’ll do.
Never Content is all in for their “Festivus for the Rest of Us.” Love will be waiting!! What?
EX-Mas, disbelief
Shock reverberates after such trauma. Didn’t see it coming… couldn’t be at a worse time… what the fa-la-la–la-la…?
Merrill Leffman divas into the disbelief with “Dumped Before Christmas.” Her confusion is only surpassed by her tonelessness.
Followin’ her to her rendezvous, Big Yayo slathers on the soulful blues with “She Left Me for Christmas.” She wha? He wha? They wha? Damn.
Static Monsters bring back the talent with an alt-pop “Just Got Dumped” that slides effortlessly into metal, then back. This is the roller coaster of repercussions, so hang on.
Fiancé Unto Castle K-mart (BLUE ALERT)
We have established beforehand that swearing is an emphatic heightening the word meanings to their superlative status (mostly because we don’t know more words). So the king of all bad language might mean how ecstatic we are with Christmas.
Doug Walker (“The Nostalgic Critic”) of Channel Awesome nails this conceit with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Here presented as metal fun musical video within the complete skit. This gets pretty twisted.
HATE Xmas.07 BLUE ALERT
Is it fun to hate of the the happiest time of year? Some of these songs pile on, without much rationalization.
Snap-Her punks the premise with “I Hate Christmas.” Why? It’s stupid, that’s why! Yah! BLUE ALERT
Catholic School Girls redundantly inundate us with redundancy in “I Hate Christmas,” a BLUE ALERT speedy screed of garage rage. Just ‘cuz.
Least intelligibly, Lerker throat shreds “I Hate Christmas” to pop metal. Yes, BLUE ALERT. Band practice as anger management.
As Seen on TV: Community
Rick and Morty‘s creator’s earlier brilliant-but-what’s-the-demographic? sitcom was not known for breakout songs, but attention must be paid to these study group misfits during the holidays.
The 2010 stop motion episode ‘Abed’s Uncontollable Christmas’ brings it.
The “Intro Song” is a takeoff of The 88’s series opening music this time with Xmas.
The characters turn into Christmas claymation tropes and have a couple memorable 3-line songs for characterization, including “Brittabot” and “Christmas Douche.”
The meaning of Christmas is put together in the show stopper “That’s What Christmas is For.” John Oliver! Christmas pterodactyl!
The next year is about singing Xmas for Glee club. To win over the surly main character, the Jewish nerd girl sings “Annie’s Christmas Song.” Brother, that’s jazz striptease junk with Betty Boop botheration.
The overlooked housewife gets a big gospel (half) number with “Happy B-Day, Jesus.” Go tell it on the lafftrack.
The actual “Community Glee Club” performance is a sad throwaway about how the hot blonde is tone deaf.
“Troy & Abed’s Christmas Rap Battle,” however, convinces the Asperger’s kid and the conflicted cool athlete to celebrate a holiday they would otherwise disdain. Much prettier, or at least much faster.
Comedy gold from those boys finally in order to convince the geriatric in “Baby Boomer Santa,” an addictive song about the evolution of St. Nick through musical genres. An American Pearl.