Year-round Yuletide oddities
I guess it’s an underdog thing, to include the final two of Santa’s reindeer as a team. I thought it was every stag for itself.
But here’s a metal thrashing saga about “Donner and Blitzen” from Rob Halford that might shine a new light on those minxes. Feel free to compare that to Thor‘s rockabilly influenced metal cover.
Prancer is a fun reindeer name. Probably inspires fun songs.
“The Head of Prancer” is what happens to noisy neighbors in the wrong ‘hood. Santa’s Angry Elves ease up on their usual metal thrashings to make merry with this prey animal.
Did we return to lonely Christmasses without you yet? We never left! Let’s uncover the charts….
“Another Holiday” is electro-R+B/rap from Kinney wishing for it to be okay. He’s not fooling anybody. Well, himself.
“Another Wonderful Christmas” is the sloshy squealy sentiment of Gee! It’s Here! Yay! Joey + Rory’s aw shucks country stylings make it down home. (Then, shh, at the end… heh heh, she gets all fed up! Now it’s my favorite!)
Nashional (feat. Vincent Vega) twangs out the country sadness with “Another Christmas with You Gone.” He can’t go on. But his song does.
Metal time: Stranglehold makes the point that Xmas is merely “Another Night Alone.” The pain is visceral. So are the drums.
Once we have computers, we have all the troubles of the world.
“The Grinch Hacked Santa’s Computer” claim Lil Poverty Angels with their stream of Christmas-ness rap improv.
“Santa Claus’s Files have been Hacked by the NSA” by Funny Once is the song you expect, not the song you deserve. Tired pop metal.
The alternative holiday Festivus should inspire punk and metal and other angry protest music. It does, after a fashion.
Atomic Potato has a rousing ska-polka “Festivus Song” that might get your feet stomping.
Hijackalope uses mixed media with mixed results for their “Festivus.” One thing for sure, it’s punk. No wait, it’s garage. No, it’s experimental. Sigh
Alt-punk adds thoughtfulness to “A Festivus Miracle” from Venice Sunlight. Quite a ride.
Mr. Plow screeches out the metal for a “Festivus” anthem that pays tribute to paying tribute. I merely bobbed for this one.
Rushed punk from 125 and I Love You! makes noise about struggling against society, but it’s entitled “A Festivus for the Rest of Us.” That’ll do.
Never Content is all in for their “Festivus for the Rest of Us.” Love will be waiting!! What?
Shock reverberates after such trauma. Didn’t see it coming… couldn’t be at a worse time… what the fa-la-la–la-la…?
Merrill Leffman divas into the disbelief with “Dumped Before Christmas.” Her confusion is only surpassed by her tonelessness.
Followin’ her to her rendezvous, Big Yayo slathers on the soulful blues with “She Left Me for Christmas.” She wha? He wha? They wha? Damn.
Static Monsters bring back the talent with an alt-pop “Just Got Dumped” that slides effortlessly into metal, then back. This is the roller coaster of repercussions, so hang on.
We have established beforehand that swearing is an emphatic heightening the word meanings to their superlative status (mostly because we don’t know more words). So the king of all bad language might mean how ecstatic we are with Christmas.
Doug Walker (“The Nostalgic Critic”) of Channel Awesome nails this conceit with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Here presented as metal fun musical video within the complete skit. This gets pretty twisted.
Is it fun to hate of the the happiest time of year? Some of these songs pile on, without much rationalization.
Snap-Her punks the premise with “I Hate Christmas.” Why? It’s stupid, that’s why! Yah! BLUE ALERT
Catholic School Girls redundantly inundate us with redundancy in “I Hate Christmas,” a BLUE ALERT speedy screed of garage rage. Just ‘cuz.
Least intelligibly, Lerker throat shreds “I Hate Christmas” to pop metal. Yes, BLUE ALERT. Band practice as anger management.
Rick and Morty‘s creator’s earlier brilliant-but-what’s-the-demographic? sitcom was not known for breakout songs, but attention must be paid to these study group misfits during the holidays.
The 2010 stop motion episode ‘Abed’s Uncontollable Christmas’ brings it.
The “Intro Song” is a takeoff of The 88’s series opening music this time with Xmas.
The characters turn into Christmas claymation tropes and have a couple memorable 3-line songs for characterization, including “Brittabot” and “Christmas Douche.”
The meaning of Christmas is put together in the show stopper “That’s What Christmas is For.” John Oliver! Christmas pterodactyl!
The next year is about singing Xmas for Glee club. To win over the surly main character, the Jewish nerd girl sings “Annie’s Christmas Song.” Brother, that’s jazz striptease junk with Betty Boop botheration.
The overlooked housewife gets a big gospel (half) number with “Happy B-Day, Jesus.” Go tell it on the lafftrack.
The actual “Community Glee Club” performance is a sad throwaway about how the hot blonde is tone deaf.
“Troy & Abed’s Christmas Rap Battle,” however, convinces the Asperger’s kid and the conflicted cool athlete to celebrate a holiday they would otherwise disdain. Much prettier, or at least much faster.
Comedy gold from those boys finally in order to convince the geriatric in “Baby Boomer Santa,” an addictive song about the evolution of St. Nick through musical genres. An American Pearl.
The tree is beautiful, your significant other is beautiful… what’s a poet to do?
For Brian Velez, “My Christmas Tree” tells him he’s meant for her. Or it is her. With this much coffehouse poetry and slamming folk guitar, it’s hard to know.
The extended metaphor gets excruciating elucidation from Darrin Martin in “You’re 100 Christmas Trees.” Is that Dixieland in the bridge? Is this guy serious? Falsetto?
I think Samuel J Morris is also mistaking his one and only for the fir. “Help My Christmas Tree” he seems to say through not fully fluent English. I’d call Dr. Oliver Sacks (‘cept he’s dead).
David Johnston will come right out and say it: “She Looks Like a Christmas Tree.” Unplugged rock that might give you verse envy.
“I Want to Be Your Christmas Tree” swear Black & Blond Music. I’m not sure what woody benefits you’re hoping for, but your ‘billy blues fascinate.
With you around (and no one else) King Virtue feels “Like a Christmas Tree.” Hot enough to melt snow, anyway. Trippy ’60s style rock heavy on the percussion.
The Whomping Willows also aspire to adortion with “Let Me Be Your Christmas Tree.” Jazzy pop that covers the smell of desperation with musical justification.
Women get equal time! “I’m All Lit up Like a Christmas Tree” wouldn’t pass the Bechdel test, but Janey Clewer and Randy Waldman anticipate her baby comin’ home with boogie woogie jazz that’ll get his attention.
Hip hop from Nroc Leoj swathes his girl in the metaphor “Lights on the Christmas Tree.” She lights up his world, a’ight?
Well the song loves her. Boogie woogie metal from Mad for Action where the story is that the good-for-nothing blond didn’t listen to the haters but acheived “Like a Christmas Tree.” (Sparkly on the outside, dead on the inside?)