“Mistletoe is Poison.” There i said it. Noella McCoy sings it. Bah and the Humbugs created it. You listen to it. Then feel soulfully sad. ‘Kay?
Category: jazz
United We Christmas Tree Stand: flag redux
Wait–the flag is not only for the military war complex! It’s there for America!
A “Red, White, and Blue Christmas” describes Dottie Swan’s reaction to her country torn apart from warfare. This ’70s country treacle tells a lonely story.
Ronnie McDowell answers the question why the flag is next to his Christmas tree in “Red, White, and Blue Christmas.” It’s cornball pop country (there’s an eagle in there, too), but God was born today for a reason ( …for the USA).
Annie Moses Band trills over churchy jazz seeming to include all of us–everyone–in their “Red, White, and Blue Christmas.” Thank you, guys.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1n2nc47qLw
Chanukah List: item six (Marilyn Monroe)
Straight from The Catskills Lou Menchell and His Mambonicks deliver 1954’s “All I Want for Chanukah is Marilyn Monroe.” He’s just askin’.
Christmas List: item fifteen (my baby)
Blues informs Jimmy Liggins and His Drops of Joy’s list: you want that woman, you know you do. So low, when you don’t even want the turkey for Christmas, Jimmy. He just wants her loving’. “I Want My Baby for Christmas.” Might wanna top off that Scotch, first.
‘Smatter, that too harmonious for you? You want down and dirty blues? Back behind the Dumpster blues? Smokey Hogg knows how you feel. “I Want My Baby for Christmas” is not want he needs–it’s what he wants. Listen to that piano, you’ll feel it too.
The Dramatics switch it up to R+B. But “All I Want for Christmas is My Baby” smacks of begging. Sounding like your thirteen may not get you where you want, fellas.
Seductive like a velvet=wrapped parcel, studio jazz cool-man John Jay Martyn croak-croons “I Just Want My Baby for Christmas.” This is how you get that baby, kids.
Xmas Dance Party: rag
Stylized marches or cakewalks from the 1890s and since have featured ragged syncopation. Ragtime music usually results in swing dancing. (I recommend doing the robot.)
The Heftone Banjo Orchestra (featuring Brian Heffernan) really brings out the complex footwork with their “Santa Claus Rag.”
Country Joe and the Fish attempt to add a message in their “Dirty Claus Rag.”
Santa Jobs: student
If out of work, Santa could pick up some training at the local community college, i’m sure.
But the consequences could be dire–
Herein lies the lesson: Casey McKinnon warns of the resulting nihilism often resulting from liberal arts classes in her bouncy fun pop tune: “Santa is an Atheist.” Well, he didn’t start out as one but, see, what happened…
Santa Jobs: spy
He sees you when you’re– everything.
Santa seems to be at least a part-time spy, and i’ve got the intel to prove it.
Of course Ray Stevens blurted out this truth back in 1962: “Santa Claus is Watching You.” But that may have been a warning to a straying girlfriend.
Stephanie Riggio for Truthdig (a subsidiary of Anonymous) clues us in on what’s really going on with “Spying Claus.” But you probably already knew that.
Completely unmasking the Claus, the ACLU posts “The NSA is Coming to Town.” Santa is really a code name for the entire department. Listen quick before it’s redacted. Or click the link to these guys… i’m sure it’s safe.
I’d rather think of Santa as a cool secret agent who finds out what he needs to by doing his job. Call me an old romantic, but Rosie Flores knows what i’m talking about. She redefines “Secret Santa.”
Toymakers Local 1224: contract-4
A brief mention of the unpleasant hard rocking of sweet harmony barbershop country singers The Oak Ridge Boys. In letter form, they ask “Santa Bring Your Elves,” but personally i believe you’ll never see those elves again. Don’t do it.
Warm smoky throated Pauline Lynnes may appeal to families with little ones, but she has a jazz siren sensibility and sexy folk fullness. “Little Christmas Elf” comes off half country ballad, half funny kid song. Tell me what you think.
Toymakers Local 1224: contract-1
Time to cut out the nonsense and get Great Music in accord with Santa’s Elves.
Let’s go jazz band cool with Frank Moody doing Martin Carlberg’s “Santa’s Little Helpers.” I need to jitterbug and i need to do it now.
Toymakers Local 1224: roll call-Ralph, Randy, Rappy
When is an elf not an elf? When he’s a car salesman? David Wood’s “Ralph the Sneaky Elf” is more about Santa upgrading his ride to a hybrid. Don’t do it, Santa! Listen to that country mumbler!
More laudable, “Little Ralph the Christmas Elf” works tirelessly for the toy cause. Although he does whine–folk song style–about his grievances, and scores a day off for the elves. Instigator? Progressive unionist? You decide.
If you need that throwback cornball confetti tossing tune to draw your own youtube cartoon to… go no further than The American Song Poem “Randy, the Li’l Elf” sung by Bobbie Boyle and the MSR Singers. Wee!
Mix it up with Rappy McRapperson play-singing “Rappy the Elf” playing it cold (despite Gitmo). He’s no Fred, and he’s no gangsta, but that’s a good thing.
The Stardust Family Singers warn us about that elf delegated to delivering coal to the naughty ones–although “Randy the Rotten Christmas Elf” may have been up to worse (or down to better). It’s a jazzy, snazzy celebration of employees gone bad.