Category: folk

Parodies’ Paradise: 1966 “I am a Rock”

This Paul Simon song is a bugbear for vinyl collectors. Originally released in the Paul Simon Songbook only in the UK, it was later tacked onto The Leaves That are Green with Garfunkle. Station samples were pressed in red with mono on on side and stereo on the other. The single charted to #3 in the Billboard Hot 100. It was my high school girlfriend’s signature song.

The following parody is not exactly holiday themed, but it is seasonal. And Simon and Garfunkle bits are hard to come by. So there. “Polar Bear Anthem” chronicles the wacky antics of those who jump into sub-zero December waters. Thanks, Balderdash & Humbug!

Parodies’ Paradise: 1965 “California Dreamin'”

The Mamas and Papas song was not an immediate breakthrough… a radio station in Boston broke the song nationwide… peaked at number 4 in March on both the Billboard Hot 100, lasting 17 weeks, and Cashbox, lasting 20 weeks… certified as a Gold Record (single) by the RIAA… inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 2001… also reached number 23 on the UK charts upon its original release… is #89 in Rolling Stone‘s list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time… became a signpost of the California Myth and the arrival of the nascent counterculture era.

“Christmas in New England” is The ’60s Invasion’s Currier and Ives take over the river and through the mall.

 

Parodies’ Paradise: 1964 “Sounds of Silence” BLUE ALERT

Simon and Garfunkle’s quiet hit hit No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 (leading the duo to reunite and hastily record their second album)… a top-ten hit in multiple countries worldwide, among them Australia, Austria, West Germany, Japan and the Netherlands… added to the National Recording Registry in the Library of Congress for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically important” in 2013.

One Hot Second battles the club crowd with the angry parody “Sounds of Christmas.” Cherish the season enough to curse.

Behold a Star: Charlie Manson

Charles Milles Maddox was a nutball criminal turned murderer by the Beatles (it happens). He didn’t invent the persona of cult leader with daddy-issued groupies, but he sure got more media for it. Blame California, everybody else does.

Dirty Sick Europeans have crafted a dreamy jello serving of psychedelia “Merry Christmas Charly Manson.” It seems to ironically dig at the curious followers as well as at his own psychopathy. No ‘Helter Skelter’ wildness, this is soothing.

Behold a Star: John Wayne

Now that we’ve treated the musicians who have treated us, take a cue from that last magnificent number and honor the images from our TVs and screens: the real stars of the American scene: actors.

Marion Mitchell Morrison was an instant movie star after nearly ten years of work. He headlined westerns through the ’40s, ’50s, and ’60s, eventually falling into an old man icon in TV skits in time for the counter culture to reject him as The Man. In retrospect he stands tall in the saddle, a American hero who’d rather explain it to you with his fists than his mumbling.

Rebecca Perschbacher sings “I Want John Wayne for Christmas” as a true fan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOffeiKXqsc

Behold a Star: Bob Dylan

Robert Zimmerman is a Grammy, Pulitzer, Nobel prize winner with more awards than hit songs. He has a pass for everything he’s tried and failed at since 1972 (DO NOT attempt to listen to his Christmas album) because he was cool once upon a time and captured the spirit of disenfranchisement of the Boomers.

Shaun McCrindle sings the true story of a holiday sighting with “Bob Dylan’s in a Joke Shop” with laconic folk rocking. Appropriate.

Adam J Taylor honors Bob Dylan with “Sexy Bob Dylan Christmas,” conjuring a feeling for this time of year that is important, activist, and sexy. Well, that’s what he says. I find the song earnest and odd in equal measures.

Tripping Bells: Crack

The crack cocaine for Christmas jingles are, take it from me, nothing to lose your teeth over. The lesson here seems to be: once you’re on crack all other drugs are gravy.

Tony Marese from ThatsNiceDOITAGAIN.com brings you the “Crack Heads Christmas Song” set to ‘Rocking Around’ as if squalor and decay unto death were fodder for a sitcom. Sue the gasp/laff track.

Likewise The Crackheads sift through the bottom of the drain for the stereotypes (mostly hillbilly redneck) in “The Twelve Steps of Xmas.” Moving on….

More thoughtfully, Gregory Page & The Wrong Trousers figure why not smoke crack given the absurdity of the whole hell on earth Christmas represents. “Crack & Christmas” rolls out gently like a steamroller going 3 mph. You can get out of the way, but you may be too hypnotized to resist.

Tripping Bells: Pot [BLUE ALERT]

Why try pot when the weather outside is frightful? Well, according to Garfunkle and Oates, it helps with your social interactions. But, as with many after-school specials, problems have a snowball effect and your skull-fucking leads to a “Scary F**ked Up Christmas,” not the least of your problems being Doug Benson as a paranoid Papa Noel hiding in the bed. Hyperactive folk.

Zonked for the High Holidays

Alcoholics Anonymous get busy around late December. Let’s sing, in the basement of the church.

12 steps… 12 days…? Couldn’t help it! Mishka6487 sets the process to music so you can remember it better. “12 Steps of AA” is just sweet enough (has to keep checking her list) to make me almost respect it.

Martin Nesbitt elicits guffaws with his folksy portrayal of sliders and slippers at “The Alcoholic’s Anonymous Christmas Ball.” Crowd pleasing isn’t easy with this subject–it’s not nervous giggles, guys. Hello, my name is–what was it again?