Major Lazer reggae as well to tell ya how “Christmas Trees” are like marry-wanna.
MJX borrows ‘Carol of the Bells’ to rap down the need for weed with “Christmas Tree.” One note.
White guy Guggy and friends (Jr Blessington, Milton Blake & Nate Jones sing light it up when reggae rapping about their “Christmas Tree.” Winkety wink.
Lil Poverty Angels dabble with the rabble in their “Trap House Christmas Tree.” It’s light and fun, then lit and funky. Hip hop.
Strung out and stumbling through the rhymes Bloody Rain’s smokin’ up the “Christmas Trees.” BLUE ALERT
Not inappropriate enough. Rucka Rucka Ali is all about the poor taste with his ‘Tannenbaum’ parody “Smoke Christmas Tree.” It’s all out there. BLUE ALERT
When pure evil tragedy strikes around Christmas, what better scapegoat than that thing you spent all day doting on and bejeweling?
In fact, that thing might be a diabolical doorway to demonicry. “Christmas Tree from Hell” reminds us of two important issues: buyer beware, and ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’ is a scary melody. Listen with the lights on to Bah & The Humbugs.
They hurt me! Kill them all! is Paulette’s “Christmas Trees” message. Talky folk, but oh my.
Metaphorsing metaphors, Bree Lucas compares you to the lack of comparison. “You Couldn’t Compare, Christmas Tree” is front room folk by a powerful talent about a terrible thing that happened.
The emptiness around this time of year coalesces for JJ Voss with “Whiskey, the Tree, and Me.” (As previously posted) it’s scotch o’clock for country rock.
“Six Billion Lights (On the World’s Biggest Christmas Tree)” makes a bummer out of living. Derek A. Dempsey and Nicole Lynch point to each person on the Earth and, in military country pop, allow that we all suffer. So, Christmas. You’re welcome.
Islands plink and doot-doo through “Christmas Tree” with alt folk philosophy… oh, you know what’s coming! Bad stuff (coffins, oppression, misunderstanding).
Orbit emplys some simple rock and not so simple word salad for “A Christmas Carol.” Get a load of the refrain. Damn. Suicide prevention hotline, please.
Okay, not so holidaysical, but “Christmas Tree Bridge” leans on the irony of the awful tragedy of losing a parent with the most family of phrases. Yikes. What sick folk is this?! BLUE ALERT
Perhaps homicide? “Murder by Christmas Tree” is a short metal ode to how to get away with murder from Santa’s Angry Elves. I don’t like them when they’re angry.
Time to give up! Life is too awful. Let’s buy the “Christmas Tree” with Kiki Bohemia and her cheap electronic hypnotic singsongery to show our despair. Bleak, black, blecch.
Is there enough room around the tree skirt for some under the skirt action?
You might know Lady Gaga (w/Space Cowboy) has a risque number “Christmas Tree” which we’ll mention in passing. If this oral invitation is all you know, however, stay tuned.
“Christmas Tree” by The Lovers the French duo from Sheffield with Fred de Fred and Marion Benoist is only a 3 on the naughty meter. ‘Can You Show Me Your Christmas Tree’ w/francois accent.
“Under the Tree” is where The Superions seduce their intended… until the phone rings! Erotic alt.
Casper and the Cookies retrorock “Kiss Me Under the Christmas Tree.” Only first base (to start out), but i’m too busy dancing to miss out. Baby Jesus would agree: what a party!
Let’s plug in the dub box. A song like “Fuckin’ Under the Christmas Tree” otter be hip hop, even whiteboy styling. This blow by blow playbook is rhymed out from here to there… and there… and– there!
We get so excited trimming the tree that we remember trim means something naughty….
Gentle jazz launches John Brown into the mood to “Decorate Your Christmas Tree.” With naughty lines like ‘make love to you’… you have to wonder what he wants with a tree.
Twiztid hollas to all the Juggalos and Juggalettes “Decorate Your Christmas Tree.” The tree here is female pubic hair. The decoration is the male sex act. You got it? BLUE BLUE and more BLUE
Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings sing a song of soul. “Big Bulbs” is all about the party, baby.
Also ’50s, Jimmy Butler jelly rolls the blues with “Trim Your Tree.” Is this music as much fun a s sex? Someone tell Mojo Nixon who just drunkenfies this tune.
Christmas balls dangle from the branches like… reproductive organs?! Someone likes this pun.
Funky Butt Brass Band descend into the mood with the raise-the-roof jazz of “Shiny Christmas Balls.” Don’t make them blue, baby.
Surprisingly upbeat reggae rock features John Mahameed & Nard cutting loose with “Christmas Balls.” Why you gotta?
Damage Control Comedy search for the key with “Your Christmas Balls” double entendre-ing the pun with showtune jazz. Take ’em out… where you wanna put ’em… Kay?
A regular Xmas tradition from the Johnboy & Billy Morning show, Nonge Shipman simply strums the folk ballad “Christmas Balls.” You’ve heard it.
No one else has balls like Ben Light and His Surf Club Boys. His “Christmas Balls” from the party records of the ’30s was the first… and the best (at innuendo).
So, would you like to meet your tree? Strike up the band!
Gene London pitched the idea of being a Christmas tree his own self in “A Walking Talking Christmas Tree.” Hang a star! ’60s pop. (Tip of the pointy hat to Pete the Elf for connecting me to that one.)
As Thoreau said: personify, personify, personify. Wild Man Fisher screams it best with his original “I’m a Christmas Tree” (although some of you might know his developed duet with Dr. Demento a bit better).
Metal messiness wherein Distortion Ride claims everyone suffers like holiday decorations. “Christmas Tree Blues” is more prog than blues, but it makes you depressed regardless… oh, and BLUE ALERT
The whole life cycle of horror show from POV tree comes thus in unplugged ‘Tannenbaum’ parody from Gordy Pratt with “I’m the Christmas Tree.” Not worth your pity.
More listenable comes Solea Pfeiffer with “Christmas Tree Blues.” Funny for the hollerin’ blues
To help “A Christmas Tree’s Wish” answers the timeless question with a wandering pop plodder from Missy The Elf & Tom Moore. (Spoiler: it wishes to be the Times Square tree.) BTW that tree left our last tree a song “Rockefeller Tree” from I am The World Trade Center. Sitar psychedelia. (YOU figure that out, i’m tired.)
Praps simply inspired Yogscast goes a bit BLUE ALERT with “Carrot for a Cock.” Power ballad about a mistake and the magic life thereafter. Oh, i get it.
Rodney Carington has a classic bit about a disfigured snowman…
Problem is, it’s a short funny country song bit. Freddy B has elongated this number to suit hisself. It adds flourished and even answers the titular question.
…so please enjoy the song in it’s 1/2 minute micro-entirety.
Let’s shovel the ‘Frosty’ parodies off the lot right away. Most of those are drug-related and i’ve done what i can to eliminate all coke=snow songs from the last couple months. Most of the others are amateurish at best. Here are some i can stand.
BLUE ALERT Afroman has studied the naughty “Frosty” and discerned it’s sexual habits. Learn, if you dare.
Don Ohman (‘The Singing Roofer’) is also misogynisticly offensive with “New Years: Frozen the Snowwoman Song.” She was asking for it, dressing like that.
Back to BLUE ALERTs Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown goes low class UK with obscene carol parodies, staring with “Frosty.” Crude, rude, and bawdy parts galore. John Valby does more or less then same thing, without as much anatomica.
Matt Rogers’s overused “Frosty the Pervert” rounds out the trifecta of BLUE ALERTs. That’s enough, boys.
Bubba Claus pretends he’s drunk singing “Frosty the Beer Mug.” Apart from a strip poker ref, blue-free tawdriness.
On the other mitten, Dan Collins acquits himself admirably with “Jesus the Savior.” He yells ‘Catch me if you can!’ after tipping moneylenders stands. And what does he sub in for thumpity-thump thump?! Look!
Homer and Jethro have a 1953 novelty bit about “Frosty the De-Frosted Snowman” down on the farm. Okay, don’t believe me! I see your corn and raise you pone.
The best tribute to Frosty doesn’t use the melody at all. Fandango Quartet has mixed results singing the right lyrics to ‘O Holy Night.’ their friends like it…..
Sufjan Stevens updates the rascally rogue with his garage-tastic “Mr. Frosty Man.”
Let’s foreclose our popular music songs about snowmen with what the kids call the latest thing.
“Big Snowman” from Navarro plays alt with our ices. Protect your hearts, ‘migos.
Dale and the Deadheads narrate a long ago time when snow came down like snow. “Bill, the Snowman” is a beatnik throwback comedy bit worth a party play.
Guided by Voices, did i tell you this already, drop “Doughnut for a Snowman” as prog rock pretty pop. I can’t remember what i was talking about….
Experimetnal jazz screaming from Cattle Drums. “Snowman Won’t Melt” eventually rocks every which way but on key.
Folk blues psychedelia doesn’t begin to describe “Jon the Snowman” by Jack Spann. Look out.
Dreamy psychedelia, “The Waving Snowman,” make The Wytches the band to watch.
Gregory Scott Slay bases his “Visit with a Snowman” on a visit with a snowman. More psychedelic rock with a metal backbeat. Snowman laid down this track, too. BLUE ALERT
Angry but oh so danceable is the punk BLUE ALERT “Viki is a Snowman.” The Jims holler largely for one minute.
Odd but danceable, “Ex-Snowman” by Big City fills you required ironic pop daily allowance.
Nihilistic pop from The Naked Picassos warns about that watching “Snowman.” Run, kids.
Disco funk expressed by Holidelic results in “Snowman’s Lament.” Give ’em snowballs! Watch out!
Pop mixed media allows Strangejuice to get sentimental, yet surreal, with their “Snowman.”
Pop punk garage by Go Eat Worms make “vs. the Snowman” a saga of surprising power.
Angry garage separates “Snowman” into three round balls. The Fezz throws gas on the fire of mujsic.
Emo garage from Kenzi Gregory unravels joy with “My Snowman.” Well, more than one. They don’t last. Hate my life.
Grrl garage pounding from The Ravens. “Evil Frosty Snowman” is not what you think it is.
Banging garage metal from Nothing to Envy portrays “Yeltsin the Snowman” as a scary monster. Surprized?
Record label Flying Bomb has been an outlet for punk, garage, experimental music since the ’90s. White Stripes got their toehold to success here. Now let’s dip into their phenomenal Xmas compilation from ’02. Happy Supply’s “Young Snowman Got It Bad, ‘Cause He’s So Round” puts the frozen one back on the street, in a cheerful love song.
Let’s end our detour around the Abominable Snowman angry and loud.
And a BLUE ALERT. Briss Mula starts out kidding around (is that a Scandinavian accent?), but his hiphop hits hard into thug life. Life is cold, so “Abominable Snowman.”
Paul Graves lightens the mood with a thrashing metal narration of a Himalayan standoff in his “Abominable Snowman.” Nearly melodic.
Commending the Fallen turn up the death on their metal with their “Abominable Snowman.” Is that just gargling?
Impaler enunciates for our pleasure with their classic metal “Abominable Snowman.” At least to start with. Violent content! Just like life!
