Year-round Yuletide oddities
That North Pole fella, he’s kinduvva chick magnet, no?
Michael Gurley folk rocks “My Baby Fell for Ol’ St. Nick” with all the heartbreak of the blues. He wants her back–but, how?
Silver linings for Mr. Cork when “My Wife Left Me for Santa Claus.” He’s got his dog and his booze, he’s fine! For the moment…. Bluesy pop.
Santa doesn’t get propositioned for nothing–!
Smashing that chimney dumper has happened before ’round the blog.
BLUE ALERT for the straight. Sukihana keeps it transactional for Santa. She’ll be the triple “Ho Ho Ho” so long as she gets gifted. Mad rap.
Good girls sound more like Mellee Fresh when she’s synthing “Santa You Promised.” She wants jewels, a car, and her sugar daddy.
Cookies for goodies? “Santa Got Me Trippin‘” is the industrial rap (with R+B) about macking on the big man (or his missus), but not without a price. From Dunst and Friends.
Mary Criddell wants a “Santa Rockafella.” She doesn’t make offers, but she does leaning the rockabilly especially hard. Everything’s dirtier when rockabillied.
More again? BLUE ALERT for the fluid. jobytheartist flies a calmingly psychedelic freak flag for “This Christmas (I’m Boinking Santa).” Only he doesn’t sing boinking.
Cookies and Cream self censor (for comedic effect) in the flaming “Santa’s Big Gift.” Lisping pop.
Also lightly sexual, Six Cents & Natalie electronically pop “Secret Santa (You Could be the One).” It’s more shy than closeted. Like 80/20. Fun.
Santa’s Elves (that’s just the name of the band) parody ‘RESPECT’ with “Just a Little Kris.” They want the kisses awful bad.
The greatest Christmas I ever had, sings out OK2BGAY (feat. Gabriel) was “When Santa Kissed My Dad.” Insistent pop with a soupçon of country.
Yesterday’s sex with Santa tunes were rough trade. What about happy gay sex with that silver grizzly?
Again? We did some fun stuff with this topic a while back.
Suite 666 romps the punk with “Santa Blow Me.” It’s angry, but friendly.
Big Freedia asks for a boy (someone like you), bc “Santa is a Gay Man.” This is a Chordettes’ parody of ‘Mr. Sandman.’ Too raunchy?? There’s a clean cut from Charted (now that’s weird).
Jesse Hawkins keeps it clean(er) with “Santa Baby (Gay Vision).” This parody asks for clothes, and drugs, and a puppy. Very little kink, just expressions of the heart.
Markologic kicks off Santa sex with this unambiguity that fucking Father Christmas is usually pretty same sex. “I’m Going to Fuck Santa Claus” is a lively (and funny) rap about fulfilling conjoining.
BeanzTaken gets even more graphic with the gay in the childlike rap of “I Fucked Santa.” Just finding their way.
Lil Frik identifies with the ASLO immortal OG homie Kringle. “I Fucked Santa Claus” is workmanlike rap without much passion. In and out.
Song Boys play more punk (pop) with their tell-all “Merry Christmas (I Just Fucked Santa.” Got ‘r done.
Jesus Penis growls out the garage rage of “I Sodomized Santa Claus” like it was a butthole of a chore. Whew.
Despite the implied impurity of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” back in the ’50s, everyone piled on much later to spice up the corny kidsong.
We’ve mentioned these naughty parodies before…
Since then, we’ve been witness to “I Saw Mommy Pegging Santa Claus (Away In A Manger)” by Abortion Clinic Daycare. Indecipherable metal.
Something Awful’s Donner Party Christmas Party also plays opaque with “I Saw Mommy Blowing Santa Claus,” an echoic instrumental that samples more than seduces.
JossiRossi from the same group later recorded “I Saw Mommy (Explicit) [Censored].” This is that comedy routine where bleeping inspires your filthiest imaginings.
What i’d like to direct your attention to now, however, is quite the oddity. In 1952 Spike Jones & The City Slickers chased Jimmy Boyd’s release with his own featuring his ‘Two Front Teeth” guy George Rock. But, then– for giggles–he had the gang record a SECOND version: “I Saw Mommy Screwing Santa Claus.” Thanks to the internet this private use only recording has finally seen the light of hoi polloi.
“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” hit #1 on the Billboard singles chart when 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd first released it in 1952. It’s been a staple since. Barely novel at this point. And yet, some of the reactions since–
Kip Addotta turned the idea on its head with “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” in 1984. Stand Still here covers that for us. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Again! The Yule Logs reorchestrate the idea with “[I Saw Mommy Kiss Santa] Last Night.” Psychological repercussions are explored to a slack key guitar countrification.
Balderdash & Humbug reposition the events for a he said/she said of “My Kid Saw Me Kissing Santa Claus.” Conclusions are jumped to in this spoken piece.
Cecily Strong gets more into the trauma for an SNL sketch that brings in Dad and a big, weird payoff.
Certainly, for novelty purposes, Homer & Jethro, and Tiny Tim deliver with bizarre sounds. But let’s leave this elevator music with a tip of the Captain’s chair to William Shatner and his little kid who’s not getting mad–he’s getting even.
Waiting up all night with puckered lips in order that Klaus may show up and get some…
Again? Unkle Funkle sums it up best with “I Want a Kiss from Santa.” Rollicking, synth-ed pop.
Mr. Neet asks you to sing along with “Wanna Kiss Santa.” Hard not to get caught up with this repetitive (BLUE ALERT) calliope-istic pop.
“Christmas Kiss” from GRAYÉ is light-hearted rap about that oscular connection with–the girl? Santa? Does it matter?
Dad band The Lifters settle into a bluesy rhythm with their chanting “Kiss for Santa.” Nice axe work.
Again? I overlooked L M Azpiazu’s original “A Christmas Tango” (about celebrating JC’s Bday, when it first posted the updated “A Christmas Tango (With Santa).” Both’re sexy Latin music, only the latter is about fatter men.
Lala Deaton torches up the night before with all her fussing over kissing ‘cuz “I’ve Got a thing for Santa.” Seems he’s got a thing for her as well. Look out.
Throwing Muses has some trouble focusing. In their “Santa Claus” the object of affection reminds me of Santa Claus. Then there’s a lot of running. Wild club indie.
Elfie with the Christmas Workshop Band freestyles the aberrant, lisping “Love You Santa” with abandon. Now we’re getting to the novelty of it all.
Again?! Steel Panther set the amps to MOIST with a hair metal tribute “Sexy Santa.” Yikes!
Jody Quine bebops some R+B lounge torch singing with “Got My Eye on You, Santa.” Despite Big Mr. C’s reciprocation for a mo’, feels creepy.
After hours lounge tinkling helps Emma Wallace quiet the siren in “Santa, Take the Night Off.”