Royalty Free Lyrics “Reindeer Games”

That line from that 1949 song has engendered some debate: some think it’s about bullying frat traditions, some think it’s about team-building training exercises. But i figured we’d combine those two for a novelty song.

Reindeer Games

I challenge you to antler toss,
Or polo--played with bowling balls.
Now try corn hole up (a) buck's anus
Or fly your hooves for Quidditch-Claus!

Welcome to the Eighty-Seventh
Reindeer All Star Invitation-al;
Each major or minor event
Gets no honorable mention--y'all.

So check your stats and bet the odds
We love all competitions.
Except that one that was outlawed
...something to do with A-1 sauce.

This ain't your dad's Monopoly,
These feats of strength for all to see;
There's no time outs to be calling
With just one champion to be.

So get your hinds off my racecourse:
My best time is oh point oh four.
Your record jump will not beat ours--
With your ass we will mop all floors.

We're all a bit competitive,
But then we all are relative.
These games are not recreative
Because there's no alternative.

[Fading shouts]
The first rule of reindeer games...
Is you don't bitch about reindeer games...
To the death...
To the death...
To the death...
to the pain....

I tried (a little) NOT to get all redneck with vernacular and phonetic corruptions of language. But this might needs be psychobilly in musical genre. Or punk metal. Ad libs of call-outs may be added as whimmed (Donner’s going down! Vixen with all the fixin’s! Dash-yer hopes!… like that).