Christmas Countdown: 8 whatever

Eight was my favorite number as a kid or whenever someone would ask ‘What’s your favorite number?’ and i felt i had to come up with some kind of answer. Let’s explore its eight-ness to discover what that says about me.

Rap by committee from Jabez (feat. B. Wells, Magician G, Dek4y, Slikadaice, DaVan, Diizii & DefNOTBio), “8 G’s of Christmas” represents 12 G’s more than our featured number. This marathon places for perseverance, but the ‘message’ is all over the place. BLUE ALERT WTF

Much more fun is the rap “Christmas Bae” from Sora: Summer kiss under mistletoe–you are Christmas Bae, So cold you like ice, lemme do a figure eight. Young love can still blossom in the cold, in the beats.

Did you say figure 8? “The Dragon Sisters Holiday Special” from The Dragon Sisters raps out a flirty BLUE ALERT holiday come on: I gotta sexy ass body,
I’m that figure 8 boss
. Work it, dude.

Despite alcohol and weed, all that’s left for HeyMrNoOdLeS is “a sad christmas song” after you left and broke his heart. This BLUE ALERT alt pop is only music box sad, so no drastic hotline calls… yet. He does count up to 8.

We Like That use ‘Nutcracker’ to squeeze out the depressed “Home for Christmas.” This roller coaster of dysfunctional family fun spies out: My grandmother just gave my niece The ninth check of the day; And when my aunt found out She told her that she only gave her eight. But then the spier gets a bottle. Solid comedy.

Too much in his head, _patrickconnor applies his heavily orchestrated pop “Cynical Christmas Song” to itself. His meta-criticism goes like this: This song is the pinnacle of cynical devices That are present in the best Christmas tunes: Emotive chord-progression and a syncopated drone To get these feelings across to you, Eight-part harmonies, String-section bassline, descending… Excellent. No notes.

Hiding from Helicopters gets grrl kooky with “Bells.” This xylophone experimental pop takes poetry to the endtimes (Wait, are these the end times?) with lines like: Christmas is for hope And we left that in last year. Yet, we are encouraged to Light your pretty candles Light up 8 or 9, but only if you want. Hauntingly confusing.

8 reindeer? What if they get the flu? “Fly Possum Fly” is Grant Malory Smith (feat. EmiSunshine)’s bluegrass solution featuring critters (with 50 teeth in little mouths) who have eight, then six, then four, then two more hours to gitRdone. Wild stuff.

Kid stuff ready is VeggieTales with their famed “The 8 Polish Foods of Christmas.” This is polka ’12 Days’ with culinary edifying applied. Learn something. About meat.

Nathan Webb name checks a brand (Eating loads of cookies like they’re going out of fashion, Eating After Eights, yes please I’ll have the last one) while exploring the input/output math of “Christmas Farts.” This tootling Middle-Eastern rap rollicker makes a party game out of who dealt it.