May 2021 – Page 2 – Novelty Christmas Music

Name Eight, finally

Let’s finish up the ending all ready!

Plank Road Publishing finally returns to the blog with the swinging “Blitzen’s Boogie.” Kids know this one.

To balance the sweet, Santa’s Angry Elves get gargley metal with “Blitzen’s Got the Shitzens.” Cue the laughing bikers.

The last reindeer gets a fine comedy treatment in “Blitzen Jones the Mighty Reindeer” by Philly Cuzz. This tinderbox of music box and TV specials flies when i sense ’60s Motown ballideering parody. Delicious.

Name Eight, again

Then there’s the weird. Name hopping off Blitzen’s ‘fame,’ some songs go for last-runner moodiness.

McBillz (feat. Black Ryan) BLUE ALERT the rap for “Blitzen.” Anger, drugs, violence, maybe cars. I dunno.

ericslake synths the hell out of “Blitzen.” You tell me what it’s all about.

Name Eight, too

Right on the money is Dougie Bear’s “Blitzen.” This country kidsong comes head on at the zero-sum attitudes of those reindeer gamers. Why so last?!

Name Eight [BLUE ALERT]

The cup-holder of the team, Blitzen pulls right next to Santa. Is respect due?

Perhaps some experimental garage rock rom Terra Ram will ease the indifference. “Blitzen” is a BLUE ALERT a stream-of-consciousness rant about being left behind. Sounds right.

Name Seven, etc., again

Badly Drawn Boy to the rescue with a hip symphonic cartoon song that uses “Donna and Blitzen” as the Xmas magic metaphor for love. Soaring pop.

[Compare to the hipster head case of a beat love ballad “Donner Blitzen” by Tom Baird, in which reindeer are the key to understanding life. Good luck with that.]

Name Seven, etc., too

I guess it’s an underdog thing, to include the final two of Santa’s reindeer as a team. I thought it was every stag for itself.

But here’s a metal thrashing saga about “Donner and Blitzen” from Rob Halford that might shine a new light on those minxes. Feel free to compare that to Thor‘s rockabilly influenced metal cover.

Name Seven, etc.

Donner may have began as Donder or Dunder. It’s a Germanic thing. But who cares–no mentionable songs about this reindeer exist. At this point we lump the last two together.

F’rinstance, “Donner & Blitzen” from The Peter Pan stable of singers flutes its way jazzily through a harrowing adventure through the awful storm.

Name Six

By the sixth reindeer, the names/identities seem to be drawn out of a holiday hat. Since Cupid could be Valentines’, Xmas, or cathouse–we’ll take what we can get.

Cupid hisself (the Canadian rapper) leads us with his “Cupid Shuffle.” Almost no imagination is required to transform this dance number to a Christmas context. Now kick.

Name Five, too

Riffing off ‘Rudolph’ Jeff Grant strums with wit and sibling rivalry sniping at each of the reindeer (and Santa) until settling on “Comet, the Black-Nosed Reindeer” as the regular Joe of the bunch. Half a laugh more than i thought it’d get.

Name Five

The back four reindeer tend to disappear into the pack. Is Comet just a flash in the pan?

The Tim Allen contributions to Xmas tend to wander off base with repetition, So ‘The Santa Clause II’ isn’t so terrible as it might be. The animatronic reindeer attempt to steal scenes, ‘cuz the Toolmaster is mostly straight man. SMC tries to jazz up the comic routine of the overindulgent candy-vore by DJ mishing up the dialogue with electronica. “Comet” is party wallpaper with an edge.