WHAT ELSE? Io Saturn Aura

Perhaps the roots of Christmastime extend to centuries beforehand with the Roman empire’s Saturnalia. This celebration seems to have undergone generations of changes with opposite-world day for masters and slaves, carnivale, and rituals to honor the Golden Age (when old Saturn was king of the gods). After Christ’s time, it resembled a full week of partying-feasting ending on 12/24 (Julian calendar).

A (sad) comedy bit WITH SONG comes from Space Barbarian Productions. “Saturnalia” is a bitchy biz pitch gone trippy with Saturn promo-bombing the meeting. The song is a couple minutes in and charmingly glee-showtune barmy. It’s only a minute and a half, but should serve as introduction.

David Warren Solomons has a catchy electronic chant-song in Latin. “Io! Saturnalia” includes English translation, but the attempt to recapture what might have been an antique tune is sideswiped by the US political references of 12 years ago sprinkled about. Is it to laugh?

Saturnalia has been appropriated by Goths and Deathheads as anti-Christmas. Sure it’s pagan, but they were nicer than the usual barbarism and exchanged (gag) gifts. Cauda Pavonis (Latin for peacock) has the only offering i’m willing to take time with. “Saturnalia” is prog rock rowdyism that hints at upbeat anarchy.

What we were hoping to stumble across is that “Saturnalia” carol that respects with disrespect. Moka Only has an experimental garage rap that qualifies.

WHAT ELSE? Festivus Din

Laugh tracks help people with questionable senses of humor to figure out what’s funny. Sadly, they try to replicate what they saw others delight in to ride that lightning. Here are the near misses.

Tina Jennings Shelton croaks out “Festivus” as some kind of funeral oration. The easy listening symphony is phony.

Tomasz Golka gets above the range of human hearing with “Festivus, Festivus.” Like every other entry hear, she claims this is the only carol about her fave-o holiday. Waltz music. That’s the funniest part.

Old time radio comedy from David DeBoy with “One More Festivus.” This is sketch singing with local references. Had to be there.

More funny would be the great Joel Kopischke doing Canada’s national anthem with “O Festivus.” Stand! Or smirk, or something.

Medieval syncopation works here. Tea with Warriors pronounce “Let Us Have a Festivus” with all the proper pomp.

I had fun with Eddie Latiolais’s “Festivus” song with its gnashing guitar and tongue twisting. Yeah, it’s pop, just in just the right ways.

WHAT ELSE? Strength of Frets

When rage enters the mainstream and all the kids bop to the beat of the racing heart, we have lost. But yet we do party on.

Channeling irked Dylan Don Owens bangs out his folk “Festivus Carol” like he just don’t care. That’s the Festivus spirit!

Alt play from Tom Goss and Amber Ojeda beats on “Festivus.” Melodic wrath. Get that mic farther from the drums. (If you don’t get this, there’s a dramatic reading from the original Seinfeld ep.)

Albert & The Sleigh Riders (feat. Andy Shernoff) ’80s chant rock out “Festivus” with heart. Pop plus (incl. killer reverb guitar solo).

WHAT ELSE? Metal Pole

The alternative holiday Festivus should inspire punk and metal and other angry protest music. It does, after a fashion.

Atomic Potato has a rousing ska-polka “Festivus Song” that might get your feet stomping.

Hijackalope uses mixed media with mixed results for their “Festivus.” One thing for sure, it’s punk. No wait, it’s garage. No, it’s experimental. Sigh

Alt-punk adds thoughtfulness to “A Festivus Miracle” from Venice Sunlight. Quite a ride.

Mr. Plow screeches out the metal for a “Festivus” anthem that pays tribute to paying tribute. I merely bobbed for this one.

Rushed punk from 125 and I Love You! makes noise about struggling against society, but it’s entitled “A Festivus for the Rest of Us.” That’ll do.

Never Content is all in for their “Festivus for the Rest of Us.” Love will be waiting!! What?

WHAT ELSE? Grieving Aires

Festivus has entered mainstream and been alluded to by news and newsmakers. Cue the Christmas carol parodies.

Randy Kemp of GCleph Musique has a ‘Holly Jolly’ sendoff “Holly Jolly Festivus” which is charming, but includes some vocalist’s argument like it’s a Chipmunk parody. And samples from the show. Too much.

Danny Lütz and Thierry Lavergne play off ‘Let It Snow’ with their “Official Festivus Song.” Bouncy and silly. Look up satire, guys!

Amateurish, but thoughtful: schoolteacher Daniel McGinley squeezes another song out of Sandler’s ‘Chanukah Song’ for his “Festivus Song.” Personal beats out professional for me. Ramshackle Life does this, too. It’s a purer parody, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Also recorded through a coffee can, Ashley of Helathy Addict dings ‘Carol of the Bells’ for “Carol of the Festivus.” All in one breath! Impressive!

WHAT ELSE? Can We Has Festivus

Protests against the Christmas combine have rallied and failed many times. Apparently the Frank Costanza bit in Seinfeld predates to the O’Keefe household, one of the writers from that show. I’ll leave it to you to research what’s the deal with this Dec. 23 hoo-hah, as i prefer to learn about life through song.

The story comes to us by way of Joel Kopischke with “The Festivus Bunch.” One man with a uke and some research catches us all up. Ain’t loinin’ fun?

Ben Kling attempts to catch you up with the sitcom mythos in his pretend Seinfeld: The Musical. (The woes of overpopulation, too much about nothing.) “Festivus” features bad impersonations, jazzy rap caroling, and a little humor. Enjoy.

Bob “Rogro” Grow is less successful with his adorable folk lovefest “The Festivus Song.” Some of the pissy annoyance is captured, but it’s a bit light-hearted to represent Angry America.

Also introductory by way of lounge jazz, Brett Houston cools out “A Festivus Holiday Jam” by comparing major celebrations one at a time.

Brian McCarthy gets weird with some horror movie soundtrack inspired moaner “It’s Festivus.” Appropriate. But i think melacholier than thou.

WHAT ELSE? Sick in a Box

Boxing Day can be confusing, just another random day trying to find its significance.

Ian Evans reminds me of Zappa with his experimental guitar wanderings and portentous verbiage. Try “Boxing Day” and say the first thing that pops into your head.

Gonna give Olav Risan the benefit of the doubt, his punnage of “Boxing Day” sets twangy deep country music to the task of overlapping domestic abuse with the holidays. True meaning targeted, but it’s a slight miss.

Malaprop gives us garage madness with their “Boxing Day.” Pissy worry and headaches for all.

WHAT ELSE? Boxes Up!

Is this not a holiday? Shall we not get our party pants on? Woo!

Since the tradition of Boxing Day is noblesse oblige Robb Johnson gets 99% appropriate with the mad folk “Boxing Day.” Eat the rich (treat you were given in your box)!

Matt Farley is finally back in guise as The Motern Media Holiday Singers. “The Boxing Day Anthem” is his usual crazed word jazz set to some kind of rhythm. Thank you.

Calendar days with names attract strange rituals. Along Europe, but mostly northern England, the day after Xmas heralds the Boxing Day swim which leads us to the bouncy folk of “The Boxing Day Swim Song” by Steve Love. No thank you.

England also touts a big markdown sale after 12/25. Renaud Buffoni gets high culture orchestral with “The Boxing Day Song.” But it’s all about crass cash.

Crazy Canucks The Holiday Hipsters rage the pop with “Carol of the Boxing Day.” On your feet!

WHAT ELSE? A New Box, Perhaps

Boxing Day is like turning a corner. New hope for everyone!

Merry Christmas/Christmas is over! hollers Xmas Movie Soundtrack in their “Boxing Day.” Insistent pop offers a hand into the next day. Remember me?

Poprant leans hard on the classic rock beat to alt the torture of tomorrow with “Boxing Day.” Something… anything.

Folk rock accompanies “Boxing Day Drive” opn the way to deliver the late gifties. Mick Thomas’ Roving Commission delivers on the genre that comes after the blues.

Matthew West sneaks in some Jesus with “Day After Christmas,” country pop with the retort that Christianity never takes a day off. Keep on Christmassing!

Maybe he’ll see you after Xmas next year? Sam DeMartino’s “Boxing Day” is a pretty folk pop song with his pretty voice with some pretty messed up stalker vibe.

WHAT ELSE? How’dyew Like Them Boxes

Boxing Day can be the scramble for hope, the angry search for what we lost. Breakup songs!

Courtney Barnett dances out the folky pop of the end of her rope. See she feels like a Christmas Tree on “Boxing Day.” Metaphorical with a cool beat.

Sondre Lerche fast pops the awkward confrontation in “Boxing Day.” Don’t be such a whore! La lala lalala la.

Blink 182 sways into fun poprock with “Boxing Day.” Does he accept her departure? Will there be throwing of things? Or is he ending it all?