Month: August 2019

WHAT ELSE? Post Boxing Blues

Kwanzaa isn’t the only holiday to pick up the after-Christmas slack. Boxing Day may have arisen in the UK centuries ago to remind the landed that tradesmen need a little sumpin’ as well. A box of goodies (or cash) should be left for those who come round the back door the first workday after Twelve/Twenty-five.

Boxing day represents a wide range of sentiments, therefore, including sadness.

Wading through the crap Dave Kleiner gets juke joint with the bluesy “Boxing Day.” Stuff he doesn’t want includes relatives, gifts, attitude.

Lonely Deer gets jingly and chimey with a lugubrious carol: “Save Your Tears for Boxing Day.” I dare you not to cry.

Regret from The Gasoline Brothers with “Hungover Boxing Day.” Careful, the soft bluesy rock is interrupted with sharp noises. Just for fun.

Jaxon Allred skips to the loo with a peppy bummer. All he loves about Xmas is gone on “Boxing Day.” Poor guy needs a studio adjustment.

The Withers contort The Beatles’ ‘Yesterday’ to “Boxing Day” with their hollow-voices warbling disappointment. Nearly funny.

Just as wacky, the Heebee-jeebees give us a doo wop “Boxing Day Blues” about the fat man in the red suit. Scat attack!

Relient K beats the guitar slowly for his “Boxing Day,” a folky pop reflection on what’s over. Gift over, man!

WHAT ELSE? Is It Racist?

Can we make fun of ethnic differences from a comfortable chair and NOT be mean-spirited? Is it fair to mock all but those we bear a burden of guilt from? What?

All i know is, please approach these wacky novelty holiday songs with care.

We’ve already considered “The Kwanzaa Song” from Futurama. Antic!

D.L. Hughley hires a white jewish guy to write the epitome of the Kwanzaa carol.Jeff Marx’s “White Kwanzaa” is a showtune of uncertainty, backpedaling, and a shared wink.

Gone in a wink is Sizone’s tecnho-garbledygoo “Kwanzaa is Here.” The message is medium warm.

Sam & Bill’s live “Kwanzaa Song” is the usual floundering of white guys with an uncomfortable topic. Attention deficit theater folk.

Barnes & Barnes apply more white sentiment onto “Kwanzaa’s Here Again.” This trembling hawaiian folk is awkward and light-hearted, not in that order.

WHAT ELSE? Yes We Kwanzaa

People of color outside the lines broaden our culture beyond the confines of the just fine. Let’s explore where happenin’ ‘other’ holiday music may lead.

Kidsong is elevated by Ama Chandra whose “Harambee” is a soft jazz hug of a song emphasizing but one of Kwanzaa’s exceptional principles.

Gorgeous gospel from Sweet Honey in the Rock blends seven powerful female voices into one harmony: “Seven Principles.” This is the best way to learn the foreign terms so you’ll know what you’re talking about. (Shivers!)

Bop Alloy (feat. Substantial & Marcus D) jazzily Motown raps “A Celebration.” The holiday by way of hard life.

Djoser Pharoah (aka William Scott) soul soars over folk rock with “The Kwanzaa Song.” No, i can dance to it. Come over and watch me.

Teddy Pendergrass’s “Happy Kwanzaa” is full on R+B love. This time we start with the music.

WHAT ELSE? Chaka Kwan

There are enough black in the USA that it’s not all straight-up straight laced. Black culture includes Republicans, thugs, choirboys, and brain surgeons. So. Are there outlier Kwanzaa songs? How weird does it get?

Kev Choice tries cacaphonous rap with his “Kwanzaa Song.” Sounds like anyone who could pick up an instrument did. But it’s upfront.

Deuce the Emcee samples out trad R+B Xmas music to back his mad rap “Harambee It’s Kwanzaa.” Seizure inducing.

Pop tribal from Steve Cobb & Chavunduka, “It’s Kwanzaa Time” starts out sweetly, then comes the frogmouth (is that s’pose pass for Louis Armstrong?), then the motor-rap (Bobby McFerrin?). Cartoon values for the season. Drum solo for an anticlimactic finish.

Georgia Anne Muldrow gets experimental pop with layered vocals and bells, bells, bells in “The Kwanzaa Song.” (I wish creative oddness extended into title making.)

Experimental reggae from Luqmann Ruth, “Kwanzaa Song” is inspirational, recreational, and crazy weird.

WHAT ELSE? No Kwan do

Not every holiday gets the respect it craves.

Roger Emerson’s “Kwanzaa Celebration” from the school assembly program December in Our Town: A Multicultural Celebration of the Season is for all kids, but it sounds like all-white kids. Brrr.

Dana Manno’s “Oh Happy Kwanzaa” should read as a fun kidsong. But it struts its high-pitched sass with snooty teacher condescension. No like.

We’ll bask in the funny Kwanzaa songs a little later. Some of the ironic approaches miss the mark so widely they need their own requiems. So brace yourself for Jeffrey and Luke Robles and their basement tape “The Kwanzaa Song.” Yes, it starts with an apology. Not enough.

WHAT ELSE? Kwanzaa t’My House

Let’s unroll some serious music to celebrate 12/26-1/1. Our spiritual black roots are showing.

Lovely Hoffman has some pop soul to dance and soar to. “A Kwanzaa Song” feels like gospel. That sounds right.

Tribal gospel from The Kwanzaa Gospel Chorus: “7” is a piece of power and inspiration. Try to keep your seat.

An island beat informs “Happy Kwanzaa” from Fanoko Singers. You should be able to learn the words pretty quick, bahs.

WHAT ELSE? K-7

In the spirit of Juneteenth, the Black Power movement in the 1960s USA embarked on a holiday for the cultural values shared by those with a proud African heritage. Others can stand outside the circle and learn a little of the seven principles.

By way of introduction, a children’s chorus from Kutsal Gun intone the honorarium “O Kwanzaa.” It’s for the kids! Be ready to take notes (the song repeats because there’s so much information)!

Trying for more authenticity, Quaver Music’s “Kwanzaa Celebration” uses more drumming. Seven days, class–who wants the time off?

The African-American Mr. Rogers NGUZO SABA recites “The Kwanzaa Song” to a badass backbeat, rap with values. He’s friendly, but morally authoritative. Heed to his Herbie Hancock backdrop.

WHAT ELSE? Two, Too

This mishmash of holiday observances might be blamed on The O.C. yes that old TV series from the early ’00s which popularized Chrismukkah as some compromise between the (white) winners and (other) losers.

Michael Taub’s “Chrismukkah Song” is adorable klezmer pop and calling on all partiers.

More homegrown jpv91’s “Chrismukkah Song” lays down the beat to the four winds. Strong song. Let your folk flag fly!

Watch For Rocks ft. Ted Organ from Darkness Dear Boy moves more seamlessly (less seamily??) from one side to the other with “The Chrismukkah Song.” Folk pop of the upbeat persuasion. (The mashups are a bit much, bit still…) St. Nikki & The Driedels do this way more mindlessly pop (without the mashups).

WHAT ELSE? Three’s a Crowd

Just enough fun songs to continue to mock the holy trinity of cultural clash around the shortest day of the year.

“The Worst Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa Song Ever Written or Sung” by Tony Caravan is word jazz of slight merit. Techno meh.

Virgin Mobile ran a series of song ads about “Chrismahanukwanzakah” with a peppy pop ensemble that somehow came off as reverent. The nerve!

Master crassman Heywood Banks calls on the capitalists’ gods with “It’s a Ramadan-Hannakah-Christmas-Kwanza-Pagan-Solstice Time.” It’s fast folk and Bob and Tom rated.

Matt Roach folk stomps out “Merry Christmahanukwanzaa” with tongue in sneering cheek. Whoa. Now you know.

WHAT ELSE? Hedging Bets

There’s the old joke of the old old man who is visited by a different leader of faith every hour on his deathbed. When his children ask why all the curiosity he admits he has converted seventeen times “…just in case.”

So craven are the songs that celebrate everything all at once.

Tia Micula and the Cape Henry Middle Schoolers sing “Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah” as a bouncy assignment in multiculturalism. Now i don’t anything.

Jon Cozart harmonizes himself with “Progressive Christmas Carols.” This is the sketch act of carol parodies, hit-and-miss. Great pipes. Some wit about the intolerance of each of the holidays.

“Christma-Hanu-Rama-Ka-Dona-Kwanzaa” by Roy Zimmerman is a sketch of an idea of a bit. Let this one ferment a while longer.

Altogether now! “A Christmas/kwanzaa/solstice/chanukah/ramadan/boxing Day Song” by Christine Lavin & The Mistletones layers the holidays (including one at the opposite time of year) in a medieval round that you’ll want to drift you gently down the stream.

Having a bit more sense of humor, Christine Lavin & The Mistletones continue with a mashup of the holidays and song genres with “The All Purpose Christmas Carol.” Daylight come and me wanna go one more time.

Call the Christmas Queens when you want to enliven your stale Holiday office party of uncertain denominations. Ginger Minj sings “Christma-Hannu-Kwanzaa-Ka” with just the right pop jazz sass. Is it offensive? (Maybe to eggs.) Shut up and dance!