It’s Christmas Day and What Have We Learned?

After a year of research and devilment, i like to take a mo and hit him with a hammer. Nyuck nyuck nyuck.

Rather than simply Top Tenning it, however, let me stack up the discoveries i’ve made over the last eighteen score posts. I can hardly believe i still stumble across novel new noisemakers everyone and their dog should hearken to. (*Hint: the word ‘album’ might link you to a Youtube playlist to listen to.)

Parodies’ Paradise: Sure there’s reliable Bob Rivers, noel Joel Kopischke, literal The ’60s Invasion and also hand-ringing The Mistletones (the last two with one powerhouse album apiece), oh–and the holy ApologetiX (for the coolest Christian retreads of the most sinful rock ‘n’ roll). But this year i bumped into Balderdash and Humbug. Their 55 Days of Christmas album has some gnarly new stuff on board. Thanks, guys.

As a gift to you, let’s revisit just about my favorite video from last year, Jason Bojangals’s “‘Blank Space’ ‘Home Alone’ Parody.” ‘Home Alone’ is a Christmas movie, right? It’s just so sociopathic! (Like Ms. Swift!)

Snow Business: While fooling around with songs about freezing cold precip, i was winded by Piedmont Songbag’s “Roger, It’s Snowing.” This Greensboro bunch a’ bubbas sound like the fun-lovininest likeable lugs to smack around a Christmas novelty song as ever blew down the flu. Tragically, their bassist died of a sudden this year. Please buy their album Try & Spread Some Cheer. Iffen you no like it, give it to me. What i’ve sampled is SO COOL, i will reference their work more and more. (Honestly, i don’t buy any of these masterpieces. Hint, hint.)

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: Shark Uppercut out of nowhere broadsided me with their After the Fall (A Holiday Album). This electronic mess is hands down hilarious and offensively random. If you’re angry and think irony is stupid, go for it. (Sample 25 Days of Jesse, and also the instrumental electronica Robots Call It Christmas. Then you’ll know.)

But, i have to repeat InsideOut A cappella’s “In the Sun They Melted II.” This is their parody sequel, son. Check out the original, if you have the time. (No cool exclusively CHRISTMAS album from these kidsong singers.)

Tree-mendous Holiday Fun: A couple albums to investigate… Austin’s pretty-farout-sounding boys Watch Out for Rockets have an album, 13 Days of Xmas (Bandcamp offered it for freakin’ free). Eclectic energy.

The Hipwaders are overly talented kidsmusic men. Their album A Kindie Christmas merits more than the usual juvenile consideration. Find it. Play it. Play with it.

These overshadow the notorious Dr. BLT (Dr. Bruce L. Thiessen) and the prodigious number of odd songs he’s been rock-country-reggae-ska-folk-ing up in new volumes (Candy Cane Lanes) (album 1) (album 2) (album 3) (album 4) since 2015. Plus a kid’s album Hollotajolly, and an adult party album holottholly. Great googly, dude’s overachieving!

But, love goes to Parry Gripp, cartoon theme writer, jingle impersonator, and overall kookie genius. His Christmas songs are individual sensations, so i can’t grab ’em by the album. But look them over. Laugh, cry, covet…. Go ‘head.

Presents of Mine: Train guitarist Jerry Becker has an oddly B’way-ish album of Xmas imagining, Holidayzed. It appeals to the musical and the mayhem inside of me.

Lil Poverty Angels have one of those word jazz improv hip hop kind of nonsensical offerings, an album with 30 songs about a minute each. Christmas Cookies and Government Cheese. Don’t love it, but do respect it.

Angry Johnny and The Killbillies has an ammo-centric album Bang Bang Baby Bang Bang Merry Christmas. But i mostly dig “Christmas Shopping” on it.

As Seen on TV: Coupla bloggers caught my attention for this month, those people who relentlessly, exhaustively, OCD-ily obsess over their hobbies. Joanna Wilson’s “Tis the Season TV” channel on Facebook will describe, evaluate, and link you to oh so many holiday specials and movies and series. She has published books on it. I find her to be an easy touch for cheesebally sentimental value.

The big win here is “A Cartoon Christmas” blogsite. I don’t know the people involved, but i am in awe of how schizo cranky/besotted (t)he(y) are. This is brilliant, if microscopic, analysis of 20th C animation, from the Rambo cartoons to Rankin and Bass. And the breezy wit and casual rage make me a believer. I stole whatever i could from here.

As a chance to revisit old TV shows something caught at me… it was the ancient ‘Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol’ and the songs therein. That was a show and and a half for kids. Meanness redressed, chances seconded, and fun tunes, like “The Lord’s Bright Blessing (Razzleberry Dressing).” Aww.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs:

Canadian guitarist par excellence Wendell Ferguson is much originally funnier than i would’ve given credit to. His album Wendell Ferguson’s Cranky Christmas will get more and more play from me. Damn that’s good. To measure his level of fingering genius, resample his “Why Does Every Christmas Song Have So Many Chords?”

Take a Card: Sticky Mittens is a novelty Christmas album that just won’t quit from Rochester professionals who gather throughout the year to jam original music. This is what America’s about, people! The pity about discovering Watkins & the Rapiers so late for me is that their songs shoulda been included in my previous posts about Subordinate Clauses (overworked elves), Tree-mendous Holiday Fun (Christmas lights), and Santa Jobs (unemployed slacker). On my wavelength! Let’s remember them for “Don’t Expect a Christmas Card from Me.”

Don We Now: O, the sites i’ve seen– Arbor recordings are also NJites with a charity to help. Every year they corral local talent to pop up a musical album fundraiser. Mucho nuevo musica. My last visit to Bandcamp revealed their 18 volumes at “make offer” or “free download.” Holee molee. I just grabbed eight hours gratis. (Us limited incomers ain’t proud.)

The “Something Awful” people have a website [founded by Richard Charles Kyanka 1999] of various victorious vituperations, but they do sponsor a contest annually for nasty noeling. They’ve got seven volumes of several discs each. Gah, i can’t access where i downloaded them FOR FREE earlier. Here’s the Bandcamp collection. I did buy a volume before i got lucky on their poorly supervised website sometime in November.

Gentler, kinder, Kaleb Withers also devises an Xmas disk each year full of parodies and nutty new stuff. This Perth WA team (with wife) is exceptional and makes me smile, but Amazon and itunes don’t know them much. Spotify will play them, but it was only Christmas Albums 5 & 6 posted on Youtube that tipped me off. I guess you can buy their stuff on Reverbnation. I’ll update when i discover otherwise.

Finally, Rhett & Link have a talented Youtube channel full of novelty songs and other crazy boy pranks. Well, i fell hard for their series of Christmas self decoration songs starting with “Christmas Sweatz.” Click on the cues for the sequels “Christmas Face” and “Christmas Booty” if you dare.

So, God, if you love Xmas so much, why don’t you Mary it?!