Don We Now: Santa below the belt

What’s left for Santa?

Well, footwear… but if you find “Santa’s Boots” under her bed–not so jolly. The Crusty Jugglers bring the maudlin to honky tonk for a country downer.

Kinky boots continues with Diane Gee wanting to wear “Santa’s Boots.” Kidsong, so i’m sure it’s innocent as all get out. But when she crows about bein’ ‘jolly’ after ‘strapping on’ the gear–i dunno.

Gleefully naughty HB Radke puts the big band in gay apparel with “Shiny Red Boots.” It’s not cross dressing so much as Xmas dressing.

Also alternative, Greg (guitar) Case strums and hums through “Santa Wore Cowboy Boots.” This Santa identifies as ‘scoot.’

bennie accounts for this anomaly with “Santa’s Got Daddy’s Boot on.” Guess it was a shortchanged quick-change. Frolicsome kidsong.

Joe Teig brings the rock’n’roll to kidsong with “Santa Claus’s Boots,” a measure of how big a man he is. (As in, i could never fill those boots.)

Metal now with “Black Boots on” by Billy Scream. This inventory of apparel gets dark fast.

Just as disturbing is the disco hip hop from Marc Schaefgen “Black Boots n’ Red Pants.” This is not natural.

BearRon (Rob Barron) sees too many Santas when he sings “Oh Santa Pants.” This slow country two-step ends badly when he finds discarded Santa pants… eek!

Brian Greene (in not quite a sequel) polkas up his phone call to the North Pole to report “How Santa Lost His Pants.” Where will the operator connect him? Child services?

Where will this end? “Santa’s Panties” by Valley of Love, Dan Barbanel, Anu Junnonen, and Joy As a Toy round robin sing about that piece of costumery that must not be mentioned. Experimental pop. Be cautious of learning too many details….