Damn That Holiday: Hellions

BLUE ALERT for Busdriver’s mad rant over the holidays. “Ding-a-Ling-a-Ring-a-Ling” is a rap for the ages (adult only) that compares cashiers to hellions. It gets worse. Catchy bicycle bell though.

An actual hellion enters stage right in ‘Possessive! The Musical.’ Yet this Darian merely interrupts the satanic conjuring of his sis in order to get filled up with badness. He wasn’t ever getting but a Whole dang coal mine Christmas stocking; still i figure this is more victim than minion. Listen to the metal limned “Friday the 13th (Intro Intro Intro)” to figure it out.

Elevnety Seven (feat. Spaceman Jones) Suffered a nervous breakdown Bringing Christmas Eve back to Halloween Town crawling out of the “Hellmouth.” Rapping the pop song. So, bleak AND annoying.

Fleetwood Mac figures If today was Christmas day And tomorrow was Christmas Eve, there wouldn’t be need to worry about the “Hellhound on My Trail (Take 1).” Tinkly lounge music that reminds us Xmas trumps Hell-things.

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In my cell, a Christmas hell, like a Yuletide lobotomy was the take away for Jeff Avinson with some fine Calypso pop (and scat). “Stop the Bells (Jingle Bells)” is his 12/25/2020 verdict.

Do we even deserve Christmas? “A Krixmas Carol” from The Krixhjälters reminds us of the children we’ve been killing in our many and frequent wars. Shame. Shame for turning Christmas into Hell.

There is no justice in the desert Because there is no God in Hell, sings Cass Dillon in his rocking pop song “Christmas in Fallujah.” Had to be there.

“She Gave Me Hell for Christmas” is a merry bluegrass shrug from The X-Misses. Ya git whut ya give.

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Amanda McCarthy suffers how the hell can I be merry if I have to bring your gift to a cemetery in a “Christmas Without You.” Lite pop that wanders into country mush. Holy hell.

Randy Pisswhistle is gentle and comforting with a folk “Christmas in Hell.” It’s other people, according to Sartre.

“It’s Christmas (But I Don’t Carey)” if half hate (kill Mariah Carey!) and half demon summoning from Go Go Ponies. Girl rock of the BLUE ALERT sort notices the hell in your veins, and your scarlet tongue too. You devil.

Megan McKenna’s “Family at Christmas” admits It’s one hell of a show (the family). Bouncy jazz retro rock that would fit in well coming out of elevator speakers.

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Sheri Miller enlists Celtic tonality with her folky reverence “Merry Christmas, Jesus, It’s Been One Helluva Year.” It’s plaintive, but in a gospel-ly way.

Rapping a sad story, Newland misses her: Man I ain’t been no help; She text me told me get my life –Oww or I’ll catch hell. “Don’t Feel Like Christmas” makes it personal.

“Another Rotten Christmas” from Bright Kelly seems colder and darker ‘cuz he’s missin’ you, hon. I wish you were a helluva lot closer, he warbles with R+B pop.

I don’t always get the K-pop. When a song advises: Trying to take sleeping pills just because you are lonely? Oh please don’t–hell no, thats so wasting your Christmas, I have to wonder what the demographic really is. “새해까지 크리스마스” [English Version] by 모몽크루 is ‘Christmas ‘Til New Year.’ Hopeful? It IS pop.


Damn That Holiday: Hell.10

Wishin’ for Satan’s kisses, LEW Husbands (feat. Candy CurlsMT) sings it sure as Hell ain’t no one else’s business in “Effed Up Xmas.” Party electronica that gets weirder and weirder.

That awful breakup/resulting loneliness can make a “Christmas From Hell.” Folk whining by Matt Polsfut/ Mista Mat suggests you shut up with that small talk.

Jen Blosil divas the tinkly pop of “Christmas Hurts Like Hell.” It’s a celebration of the suffering necessary to be part of the season. I get it.

Black Friday used to be that To hell with the rest of them kind of time. Thursday’s Flight takes us back to “Holly Christmas Days” with fine-fingered rock’n’roll.

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2020 was THE Pandemic year. As such it was a HELL of a year. So the song record shows. Kari Loya employs sitar sounds to punch up the electronica of “There’s Still Christmas” (and Hanukkah, it’s sad).

1993 was another helluva year. I guess. Well, the lines are: It’s been a hell of a year And we need you here. “Put On Another Christmas Song” by Brittlestar (feat. Emma Rudy) is dandy Celtic pop. It makes hell better, dunnit?

It’s been one hell of a year was a 2021 sendoff from King Carol (feat. gig Wigmore) in “Christmas Party“–a party retro rocker of grrl power.

Young Mister hits the indie mood drum thoughtfully with “Helluva Year (But Christmas is Here).” Patrience, young padawan. This one takes its time.

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Traffic jams? Bad weather? BLUE ALERT! “Christmas is Hell” rockabillies River’s Edge. I can dance to it, though.

Using the pejorative as an emphatic, Pistol Annies swing sing “Hell of a Holiday” to convince you no holds are barred. Mercy that’s an early start.

Fancy Feast regales us with stories of mold in “Christmas in Hell.” Adorable garage rock without the anger.

The Tearaways American rock band one “Helluva Christmas.” You might enjoy their suffering, you Schadenfreude-rs you. See, it’s Ca-RAZY, dad.

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OKXO is racing ennui against malaise with the upbeat “Hell of a Christmas.” You don’t really care If the world ends tomorrow he maintains, so forget the whole thing. Huh, kids today.

Joe Dolezal swings pop around the world. They seem to have Christmas every where. Then he belts out “Do They Have Christmas in Hell?” Check with Trip Advisor.

Could it get any worse? Ask Two-Ton Santa! The paperboy hanged his cat! To learn more meanness check out “Merry Christmas From Hell.” Unplugged lite rock.

“The Ultimate Boon” is The Mystery Fax Machine Orchestra’s cutie-pie spinout of frustrations and desperations for the holidays. And Jan. 12… and Mar. 22…. guess it’s interminable. –oh no, the title is more sinister than we thought.

Damn That Holiday: Hell.6 BLUE ALERT

Rapping with enunciation danopposite lays out his case for why this is “Christmas in Hell.” Sore feet? Bad gifts? That all you suffer from? Come on.

Snarky Off-Broadway tunes from the musical ‘Christmas in Hell’ include “Every Day is Christmas in Hell.” Ensemble BLUE ALERT about a kid in the wrong place at the right time.

Awesome Death take a more industrial pop/rock approach to their “Every Day is Christmas in Hell.” The more metal it gets the more philosophical it gets. Again BLUE ALERT.

Captain Chemical countrified his pop when he explains that when you’re in Hell it’s “Christmas in Hell.” The torment seems festive the way he sings it. BLUE ALERT

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Rob From Amersfoort’s “Office Party From Hell” demands only one savory solution: burn down the building. Electronic rock with Devo-aspirations.

brokeninc isn’t that worried for having dinner for “Christmas in Hell.” Folk amelioration.

a balladeer sings out his Welcome to “Christmas from Hell” with classic pop rock yeah yeah yeahs. It makes this awkwardness almost tolerable.

“The Christmas From Hell” for Utter Butter is not a nice thing. It smells bad even. Garage lite.