Rocking hard, Girls Aloud harp on about “Christmas ‘Round At Ours“. They’re too old for kid stuff and too young to beam at the kids. It’s boring for young adults, innit? (‘Til the mistletoe….)
Is Xmas something special? “Christmas Is What It Is” allows John Vosel & the Party Crashers with pop country carelessness. Christmas will still be the one, but meh.
With seductive latin rhythms Hey Ocean declares “Tonight It’s Christmas Time” and he’s all about alone times with she and he. Then she retorts with the intolerable boredom and wanting to just Do Something. I give it three months.
Glamourpuss smacks around the retro folk-pop of the late ’60s for s lovely “It’s Only Christmas“. It’s giving thanks but in such a lackadaisical way, i question it. While bebopping out.
Suffering from a recent breakup, Puuding finds “Christmas Without You” boring. R+B bordering on easy listening.
Asking for a break is the BLUE ALERT rap “Oh Comble All Ye Faithful” by F.Lobot. It’s not that they hate all your reason for the season, they just can’t be bothered.
The Christmas Jug Band don’t have much use for Yule, instead they proclaim “I Wanna Make a Holiday” that suits them better. I Can Do Better is the insincerest form of criticism. Bluesy zydeco.
Roy Zimmerman gets Dylanesque with “Christmas is Pain“, a folk diatribe whizzing all over the holidays from the 99%. Eat the rich desserts.
More folk, with driving pop, protests “The Hypocritical Christmas“. Matt Roach has an agenda to grind concerning all your unquestioning devotional frippery. He doesn’t give a shingle from under Santa’s feet.
The Mangles rockabilly “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Break For Christmas)” with the provisio that they don’t wanna start a fight. But the Griswoldian effects of holiday working, shopping, and Santas weary their rocking ways.
Taking cues from ‘Wonderful Life’ HkFiftyOne celebrates “Christmas Day” by getting out of the boring little hometown, and touring the world. Rap electric.
Jouncy bouncy come Twelve 2 Five with “The Last Christmas Day“, electronica that robotizes the merriment. Que danceable.
AI dismisses joy with an “Untuned Lullaby” in which Winter Sage is frozen out by those who matter and slow pops malaise in response.
Belinda and Stefan begin “Things that Christmas” with exhortation and cheer, but rapidly descend, with children’s style repetitive pop, into the mundane and icky. Not good traditions at all.
Brock Armstrong (feat. Heavy Flows) also begin their symphonic randomness upbeat, but then “Christmas Spirit” faces the reality of now (subprime mortgages, fleeing to Arkansas, the Jesus story leaving us cold…). Eww.
Please, “Don’t Let It be Christmas” bemoans Crankshaft Alligator to over-filtered slow blues rock in the ballpark of just giving ups and hating the whole magilla.
Burnout time for Xmas. Without labeling the young people and their made up generations, we can agree these are the bad new days and freshly minted adults don’t adhere to traditions like old folks did when before. Who cares about any old crap like Christmas, anyways? So, let’s explore the disaffected (like Holden Caulfield did 75 years ago) for the holidays–in no particular order ‘cuz who cares? [To the wary: many of these are love notes, as in let’s ditch the best day of the year and just be together; while others are Xmas without you by my side is barfy.]
Some frosty characters stay cool because they’re hangin by a thread and they’re using all their muscle to maintain an even strain. Vis. John Prine and his Xmas edition of “Everything is Cool“. He got dumped at Christmas, but don’t worry. He’s chatty folk cool with it.
Having no EFFS left to give, Mon Men BLUE ALERT garage up “Christmastime is for Sinners“. Passive aggressive can still sound aggressive.
Barenaked Ladies need to return to glumly acknowledge their disappointment with the pop “Green Christmas“. Anyway.
The Non Traditionals vote to throw “Plastic Trees” on the fire, climate change be damned. Now i know it’s in their name, but try a little more conventionality to go with your indie pop. Please.
Bob Rivers delivers the comedy with “The ‘What’s It to Ya’ Chorus“. Divine parody that chorally requests you mind your own beeswax.
“Oh, Deer!” from SLTCP folk garages how to change the game. Playas gotta playa. BLUE ALERT
In “Santa, Come Back” Siri Nilsson allows how it’s time to play a Christmas game. Something about naughty or nice. Gleeful indie.
The Popcorn Rebellion’s “The Christmas Game” is old country RnR kidsong you might to sing along with. Still with the kids?! ‘Tis the season! Johnny & The High Keys cover this high hand-clapping Brit pop. Better.
This summer Christmas is a holiday game, or whatever Echo Cities is saying in the AI pop of “Christmas in July“. Sheesh.
Thank Goodness someone came up with a drinking game. “The Christmas Jager Game” is BLUE ALERT Nerve Centre’s celtfolk attempt at relieving the tensions.
The greatest Christmas game ever was happened some thousand years ago with “Gawain” and the Green Giant. There’s decapitation and cheating. You could look it up. Or listen to this jolly folk number from The Trials of Cato.
Let the children play the game! insists Tumbleweed in “Woodland Winter” with gentle strings and whispery vocals. Lets.
The Archies sing about the toys and games at “Archie’s Christmas Party“. Easy listening teen rock from 2008, if you can believe that.
Well wrapped irony from The Lemay Odyssey pokes fun at “The Christmas Hokey Pokey“. That’s what it’s all about.
Kids all welcome riddles to pass the long nights until Christmas… And you might expect them to be like Farmer Jason’s “Christmas Riddles“. Country hoedown hoo haw.
So, Peggy Lee partakes of jazzy big band to ask “The Christmas Riddle“. I figure it’s Santa or God.
But then, Stanley Adams and Sid Wayne parlay “The Riddle Song” into a Hanukkah miracle.
And then–The Light poses the riddle about “The Christmas Tin” in which you must guess–or die.
“Come Out And Play” out of the bustle of the marketplace calls Meghan Pulles, all innocence and seduction. Bebopping rock with soooo much Brit pop you could cry.
Useta be ya hadda gun down the goose to have a holiday feast. Now you’ve got to fight the lines at Whole Foods. Or, if you’re in a romcom, mis-thaw the bird and undercook our expectations. LAUGH! Let’s get to the killing.
Now you might expect some ‘comedy’ like the “Christmas Hunting Song” by Anthony Petaccio. It’s ‘Rudolph’ with rifles.
Yes, there’s “Deer Hunting Song (Christmas Time Is Here)” where Joe Woznicki can actually sing to the karaoke machine. A bit eerie–
But there’s also slurred original country like Styles Haury drawling out “Huntin’ Rudolph“. It was only one arrow. Santa got mad. You know the drill.
Let’s take a moment to go overboard with A Fisherman’s Christmas Carols, a specialty parodists album from the North Pole Fisherman’s Association. Zydeco and bluegrass vie for country dominance over the smell and mess.
But then there’s the horror of “Santa Claus is Hunting You Down“, partly from the threat but also because of how Marc Grossman phones in the parody.
Back to the children: Jenny overuses AI for the kidsong “Going on A Christmas Hunt“. It’s like Where’s Waldo, but for snowflakes.
“Christmas Gift Hunting” by Paul Onufrey is clumsy kidsong with a heart. Beats AI for me. Be the gift-giving boss!
As technology makes cyborgs of us and then erases us, make sure to include video games as a tasty gateway to the singularity. Plug in, my brahs.
Digitally generated. the awkwardly titled “Christmas Video Games Country Intro Music” is credited to CASEY IS RAW–but for all that comes across as gently crooning light country homage. I’m shocked how little i’m not offended.
The Chalkeaters (feat. PiNKII) also take a light fingered approach to the sentimental pop of “It’s a Gamer’s Christmas“.
Retro-Fusion’s “A Video Gaming Christmas” vamps up the pop, but keeps the vision nostalgic sweet. Remember being a kid, when these pastimes were all that mattered? Then you became a Millennial and–same.
The reminder comes in form of “Video Games for Christmas” from DJ Beeswax, hollered out by some random kid who hollers for a living. Is it rap? Or just annoying?
SHYLO!’s “Christmas Video Game” uses the appropriate background electronica, but spouts whatever word salad occurs to them.
In “V.G. Xmas” J. Elijah Cho quietly alt-folk wishes you whatever you want: drugs, time off, everyone else leaving you the hell alone so you can play video games uninterrupted… what a great wisher.
The reindeer games included X-Box, i guess, as parodied in Dillon M.’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Gamer“. Sonic and Frogger get referenced.
Two Dudes and a NES hath bestowed upon us an adorable album, Country Christmas. The handful of songs celebrate the holidays and video games with country colorings and a spoonful of talent. Mario and Zelda are name-dropped.
