Parodies’ Paradise: 2006 “Apologize”

This debut single by OneRepublic from their debut album was the biggest radio airplay hit in the history of the Mainstream Top 40 chart in North America, with 10,394 plays in one week… a major hit internationally, reaching number one in 16 countries, including Australia, Austria, Canada, Germany, Italy, New Zealand, Sweden, Turkey, and the Netherlands, as well as staying at number one for eight consecutive weeks on the Billboard Pop 100 chart… peaked at number two on the Billboard Hot 100, staying in the top-10 for 25 weeks, and spent 13 weeks at number one in Canada… earned a Grammy Award nomination for Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals… ranked number 50 on the list of the Billboard Hot 100’s All-Time Top Songs list from the chart’s first 50 years… spent 25 consecutive weeks in the top 10… also ranked number 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 Songs of the Decade.

The Murrays worry that Christmas is too much with us in their “Christmastime.” Damned fine funny business this.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1988 “Desire”

U2’s first number-one single in the UK and Australia… reached number three on the Billboard Hot 100 in the U.S… topped both the Modern and Mainstream Rock Tracks charts (the first song to reach the top of both of these charts simultaneously)… reached number two on the Dutch Top 40… won the Grammy Award for Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal.

“Messiah” by ApologetiX almost loses its meaningfulness in the balls out R+B.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1988 “The Man in the Mirror”

Michael Jackson peaked at number 1 in the United States with the fourth single from his seventh solo album, Bad (1987)…  nominated for Record of the Year at the Grammy Awards… topped the Billboard Hot 100 for 2 weeks… peaked at number 21 in the UK Singles Charts (in 2009, following the news of Jackson’s death, the song peaked at number 2)… became the number 1 single in iTunes downloads in the US and the UK (over 1.3 million digital copies).

The Mistletones worry about your celebrational culinary decisions around this time of the year with “Fat in the Mirror.” Quit eating out of the bottom of the barrel.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1965 “Get Off of My Cloud”

The Stones could do no wrong back the ’60s. After ‘Satisfaction’ they released this major success reaching number one on the Billboard Hot 100–remained there for two weeks… stayed at No. 1 in the UK Singles Chart for three weeks.

Bob Rivers goes Sinatra pastiche with the lounge lizard spin “Hey You! Get Off of My House!” Why!? Seth McFarland, sure, but why Bob?

The ’60s Invasion play in more Stones-ish with “Hey Dude (Get off of My Roof).” That’s more sensible.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1963 “Money (That’s What I Want)”

Berry Gordy’s 1959 record became a more famous song in the mouths of the Beatles… advance orders for the album With the Beatles of a half million and sold another half million by September 1965… the second album to sell a million copies in the United Kingdom… remained at the top of the charts for 21 weeks. (Never a single, but the album hit #11 on the record sales chart.)

Bob River’s antic ways disallows him to straight up parody a property. He throws a bit of Thurston Howell III into the mash for his “Christmas Money (That’s What I Want).”

Tripping Bells: Ganja

Does the THC make you think Rastafarian?

Wafande plays it Jamaica cool with “The Only Thing I Want for Christmas is Ganja.” Reggae can be a political force, or it can as here be laid back and give thanks–irie, mon.

Perhaps a bit more needy, Major Lazer wishes up ganja stalks for “Christmas Trees.” This Reggae has been cut with pop music.

Nellie McKay blends the Reggae with Dixieland, soul, and the blues to twist up “Weed (All I Want for Christmas).” It’s a sweet if slightly blue homage to the flammable fun of the holidays.

Xmas Dance Party: week of rock (Wednesday)

Load me up with soulful rock!

Just to keep the beat, let’s tip the panama to doo wop as a precursor to rock. No better way than to acknowledge The Hepsters “Rockin’ and Rollin’ with Santa Claus.” It’s a gas.

More doo wop? At your service! Barry and the Highlights twist us into rock inevitability with “Xmas Bell Rock.” My oh my.

The white version would be Jon Cobert relying on brass for his R+B in his “Rockin’ Soul Christmas.” White folks do have soul, it just costs more.

Maybe it’s just me, but i hear Kashief Lindo’s reggae and i hear R+B. Try “Rockin’ Christmas” and tell me what you think.

Huey ‘Piano’ Smith and the Clowns from 1962 deliver “Rock ‘n’ Roll Santa Claus” on time with postage due. It’s R+B! (and maybe a touch of garage disonance)–

Baby It’s Cold: 1957 cool cool cool

Rock don’t roll all at once. While we’ve been noticing some rhythm creeping into easy listening, by 1957 the doo wop and R&B and swing and jazz and honky tonk and blues has fused closer and closer into Alan Freed’s so-called “rock and roll.”

This is the year of “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms. In this iteration, it’s sooo country.

True street corner doo wop still sounds like La Fets & Kitty singing “Christmas Letter.” It’s da blooze with a harmony hard-beat chaser. Awww.

New Jersey white guys harmonizing lead us to the boy band early rock. The Cameos make a pretty merry-go-round of music with their “Merry Christmas.”

Detroit doo wop sounds like”Can This be Christmas?” asked by The Falcons. Killer sax. Familiar bass beat. Yeah, we’ve got this.

Also from Detroit The Enchanters wax exotic with doo wop in “Mambo Santa Mambo.” It’s slick as a candy stick. (I listen to the millennial salute of this every year by The Bobs a la a cappella.)

Melvin and Johnny take a page out of Fats Domino’s book with this tinkly, twinkly “It’s Christmas Time Again.”

If you were an R&B fan in N’Awlins in the ’50s you hadda be a Fats Domino man. But a few early rockers dug more the swirlin’ stylin’s of Jimmy Beasley who remains so unrecognized today he doesn’t have a Wikipedia page (except he does–in German). I suggest you check out his 1957 album Jimmy’s House Party. Until then, enjoy “Christmas is Here Again.”