Parodies’ Paradise: 1968 “Helter Skelter”

This avatar of punk-metal originally appeared on the Beatles’ so-called White Album… a product of McCartney’s attempt to create a sound as loud and dirty as possible… Rolling Stone magazine ranked it 52nd on its list of the 100 Greatest Beatles songs. (So much for inspiration.)

Kris Sciba delivers a plugged-in slow-moving “Helter Santa.” I dig this.

But i dig THIS more: cutbacknj has the same “Helter Skelter (Christmas Parody)” with bells and whistles. Psychedelic.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1967 “Purple Haze”

Jimi Hendrix’s second record single by the Jimi Hendrix Experience hit in several countries… UK Official Singles Chart at #3, Us Billboard Hot 100 at #65… #7 in Austria and Norway charts…  (it was many people’s first exposure to Hendrix’s psychedelic rock sound)… inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame… included on lists of the greatest guitar songs, including at number two by Rolling Stone and number one by Q magazine.

ApologetiX has got this with “Excuse Me, Pal, It’s Christmastime.” Boys can PLAY.

Give Bob Rivers some space for his “Holiday (‘Scuse Me I’ve Got Gifts to Buy).” It’s quite hectic.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1967 “Sunshine of Your Love”

Cream’s first and highest charting American single… one of the most popular singles of the year… a modest chart hit in the UK… several rock journals have placed the song on their greatest song lists, such as Rolling Stone, Q magazine, and VH1… The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame included it on its list of the ‘500 Songs That Shaped Rock and Roll.’

It’s prophetic that ApologetiX would spin this mind melter into “Some Sign from Above.” Whoa.

Ghost of Christmas Pastiche: Pink Floyd

Rooster Slayer noodles on his guitar with “Fa La La Floyd Christmas Song.” Mesmerizing, if a bit show offy.

Moneyshot Cosmonauts (od FuMP fame) melt it in a minute with “The North Side of the Pole, Part 4: Red and Green.” Top o’ the charts, baby! (Don’t forget “Parts 5 and 6“–cool, cool, cool.) (These are parodies, gang, but I couldn’t reisist, hee hee hee.)

Behold a Star: Charlie Manson

Charles Milles Maddox was a nutball criminal turned murderer by the Beatles (it happens). He didn’t invent the persona of cult leader with daddy-issued groupies, but he sure got more media for it. Blame California, everybody else does.

Dirty Sick Europeans have crafted a dreamy jello serving of psychedelia “Merry Christmas Charly Manson.” It seems to ironically dig at the curious followers as well as at his own psychopathy. No ‘Helter Skelter’ wildness, this is soothing.

Tripping Bells: Cold Turkey

Last month, wrapping up a long drunk, we hit rehab. This month, crashing after endless highs, we reach for cold turkey–cutting off all mood enhancers at once.

Blues Buffet plays their “Cold Turkey for Christmas” as a pun on holiday feasting. Blues is blues, baby. We know watchoo mean.

Central Rain also code their personal problems in an alt rock message of messed-up hope: “Cold Turkey on Christmas Day.” Coffee house slam poetry set to a kicking back beat. But will they make it?

Magno Production meld psychedelia with garage in “White Christmas, Cold Turkey,” an actual bad trip in music. No, Virginia, there aren’t snakes coming out of Santa’s brain.

Tripping Bells: Snow

Just one more line before we leave cocaine for Christmas.

Can rockabilly capture the up-the-nose Advent experience? Try on The Dammit’s “Cocaine Christmas” and shimmy for yourself.

Perhaps punk? The Dirtys play “Cocaine Christmas” like they’re wired on something. Hey, I like positive feedback like the next guy. But what’s the next guy doing–hey, you!

BLUE ALERT Apple Drank gets nasty with the cocaine rap style in “White Christmas.” Dropping rhymes here seems to be a pun fight. Meh.

Inca Jones goes meltingly modulated for experimental rock in “Cocaine Christmas.” Wait, is that good or bad?

Merry Mistletoe: oddness

What’s left…

One of my favorite unclassifiables is Franklin Bruno whingeing on the electric organ with alt-rock assuredness. “Invisible Mistletoe” haunts me like a half-remembered kiss.

A.K.A. Belle also weird up the alternative rock with “I’m Giving Mice Elf to You.” It’s a mistletoe love song that preys on your insecurities, like a kiss you won’t get.

Minimalist and new age-y, Wun Two quietly invade your psyche with their take on “Mistletoe.” You won’t be able to tell if that was a kiss.

The Jesus Lizard go a touch psychedelic with their “Mistletoe.” Your kisses may never be the same.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: birthing

The Christmas songs of our founding fathers are too archaeological to consider (church hymns)–good Christmas carols don’t come around for another century after that.

But those second banana has-beens Paul Revere and the Raiders offer a light psychedelic commentary on Vietnam by singing about Revolutionary wartime conditions in “Valley Forge” (even Doonesbury saw that connection despite the jungle/snowbank dichotomy). Not much of a Yule tune, but it’s off their cool cool cool ’67 album: A Christmas Present… and Past. Good stuff, groovesters.