One of the kindest warnings about how to behave and avoid Santa’s anthracite comes from English lad Rob Lord a scorer of films (from Pumpkinhead 4 Blood Feud to I Am Durán) whose tinkly experimentation of tune soothes and refreshes. “Bag of Coal” is the childish hope edged with concern that Xmas will go well. Relax, kid. You got this.
Category: pop music
Baby It’s Coal: origins
One of the oddest traditions of Christmas is how bad children still get a little sumpin in the form of a lump of coal.
Let’s not rehash the various histories that various nations claim to originate this Santa shenanigan. Let’s dwell in the hearth that laments and lauds this practice until we finally get into the ore of the mine.
Although previously hailed as a novelty masterpiece, The Killers (w/Jimmy Kimmel) open our journey from the POV of “Joel the Lump of Coal,” allowing us to see the peripeteia the innocent may project over the mean machine of Christmas to a happy ending. Love that alt-pop.
Yee Haw-liday: cowboy walks into a bar s ranch….
Let’s break early for the funny. I mean, cowboys and Christmas. Laff riot, eh wot?
Liam and Mason (milph, perhaps) showcase an hilarious “Cowboy Christmas” full of Freudian associations and ad libs. I suspect basement such slackers as these appear to be stole it. But it’s still novel. And they do great post-modern shtick.
Brad Paisley tries the gentle approach to intolerance with “Kung Pao Buckeroo Holiday.” In the guise of cowboys (true Americans), Brad and friends curmudgeon about how sensitive some folks are about what you can sing. I agree, joke with ’em if that can’t fuckin’ take it. But no war, please.
The Funny Music Project (FuMP for insiders) play amateurishly fast and loose with the Lone Star state in “Christmas Time in Texas.” That’s tongue in cheek, not chaw.
Yee Haw-liday: Mr. Rocky Mountain
John Denver popularized the soft rock of hard country living way back when. His “Christmas for Cowboys” (words and music by Steve Weisberg (1975)) is a standard of Christmas songs for cowboys. Most covers imitate best as they can. (JD’s one of those you can’t quite improve on.) (Sorry, Jars of Clay, just leave the original alone.) (Unless you’re willing to interpret.)
Smearing on some honky tonk, Jimmy Rankin ups the party factor.
Crowding the quiet with strings and yodeling, Wylie Gustafson refits the CW genre into something less pop.
A mournful version with washed out vocals from Wasted Rock Rangers barely keeps it together.
Most odd, Drunken Ramblings fingers some of notes but misses the vocal synch in some alt-folk guitar warm-up. It’s just the right amount of off-putting.
Born this Day, twenty-nine (X)
Let’s leave this topic confused and perplexed. Christmas is Christmas, not some birthday. That’s different!
Jimmy Eat World rock meekly with “If You Were Born Today” a recrimination of how we’ve messed up. But in the sweetest harmony.
Kids’ country joke up the Christmas Story in Animal Band’s “Birthday Party on Manger Street.” Make animal noises all together now!
Notsoape gets Goony and Awful with “happybirthday,” a slight offering or awkward praise. Huh?
Born this Day, twenty-three (Son of God)
In praising the All-in-One we need some kind of theme, so paste a date to it and raise the streamers for the birth of God, the Sequel.
Setting the party mood, Mojo Nixon celebrates (incl. warm up) (and name-calling) “Happy Birthday” with his own earthy smarm.
Bah & The Humbugs gets more kid friendly with “Birthday Boy,” an offkey meandering ragtime/pop explosion of joy. Blow out the camels!
Born this Day, twenty-two (Son of Mary)
Since this is such a half-baked idea (others born on Xmas), we’ll spin out a week on Mr. Christ’s own observance. Many make hay with the Happy Birthday wishes for the Messiah. It’s the humorous concept of the banal contrasted against the divine. Har-de-har, God’s got armpits… like that.
We’ve already tasted Bob Rivers’s “Jesus’ Birthday.” As a postscript to “Wonderful Christmastime” Barenaked Ladies hail the King of Ks. With comical timing Wendell Ferguson bemoans “Jesus Christ It’s Your Birthday Again.”
New to the blog: Do You Heat What I hear (feat. Joseph Cimino) sings “Jesus It’s Your Birthday” with electronic pop fervor. Or folk experimental temper. Or just doowop weirdness. Check it.
Born this Day, fifteen
The Happy Birthday songs channel on Youtube seems to make an entry once a year, including the “Christmas Birthday Song” from the inception of the channel a couple years back. This pop insta-party seems longer than at it is at half a minute.
Born this Day, eleven
‘It’s better than never being born at all,’ admits Ovis, retro-pop Australians in “It Sucks to be Born Around Christmas.” Their peppiness is infectious, more so than their web-found roster of celebrities with this problem. John Legend and Zappa and Bogart and MTM and on and on just becomes one more list.
Born this Day, four
Londoneers of the ’90s fought the old punk scene with mindless dance pop. Sarah Cracknell, Bob Stanley, and Pete Wiggs got together as Saint Etienne yet featured roatating lead singers like some kind of pop up rave scene. “I was Born on Christmas Day” from ’93 features Tim Burgess (frontman for alt-rockers The Charlatans). And you CAN dance to it. You must.