Category: pop music

As Seen on TV: themes

Most TV shows have music, opening themes often included whole songs (until Lost ruined it for television musicologists everywhere). At times, feeling puckish with their funds, shows have had special holiday openings which spoofed their own music. These may exist in the hundreds. I have a few.

“The Rugrats Christmas Theme” doesn’t sound much like their opener, but it’s polka fun.

“Dora the Explorer Christmas Theme” also reeks of bells, not much castanets. Love the samba in the original.

“It’s a SpongeBob Christmas! Theme” sounds more like their music, and we’ll get to that special later. Lots of songs!

“3rd Rock from the Sun Christmas Theme” sounds very like their original, with a slight twist.

Ditto with “That ’70s Show Christmas Theme” which only jingles some bells.

Bear McCreary’s carol-sized minimalist intro for “Eureka Christmas Theme” goes all out, for about ten seconds. Thanks, Bear, now go count your Galactica residuals.

Presents of Mine: nope

No presents! For Christmas! Call my lawyer!

Hypothetically, is it Christmas? James Kyllo larfs it up with the pop music hall “[Christmas isn’t Christmas Without] Presents.” Even if the shopping drives us mad.

Even more British is the ska beat up “Driving Home for Christmas (Presents).” What? Forgot ’em?! The Thyme Machine illustrates the drama amusingly.

Maybe you just can’t find ’em. Childish ‘Rudolph’ parody “Where did They Hide My Presents?” is for children by Alan Katz. Settle down, kids.

21 Santa whips out his parody and chases down the naughty list to tell them “No Gifts.” Hip hop.

More naughtiness judged by Paul Mauled and The Furious Elves. “Santa Don’t Bring Gifts to Assholes.” Melodious garage rock.

Metal from King Diamond and Holy Grail crow “No Presents for Christmas.” Same song, different lead ins. They’d just set those presents on fire anywho.

The original tear jerking “The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot” hails from Phyllis Robins. Light jazz with excessive orchestration. Wait, my face is leaking.

Much More Upbeat, riddim from Nicole David dances out “No Gift.” See, she got busy. Check later.

David Myles has to suffer ever year because “Santa Never Brings Me a Banjo.” Light, fluffy enjoyable bluegrass.

An amazing Christmas song, rivalling ‘Fairytale in New York,’ comes from The Hive & Cyndi Lauper. What terrible people in “A Christmas Duel.” What dirty secrets. No presents! No! Get away from me.

Recalling Devo, Yulenog hollers “I Want Presents!” only to be told No–again and again. It’s just a matter of waiting for the right time, but –oh okay booboo. Alt-pop.

Presents of Mine: oddly specific

More weird presents for JC-Day.

Obvi parodies include “I Want a Hypothalamus for Christmas” by Danny Birt. It’s only a minute, and seems to be a lovely neurological lesson–until we learn how the gift is achieved.

Ursula Burns and Donal Scullion get weird with the gift of a nuclear power station in the sly folk sweetness “Every Day of the Year.” Got a little agenda on you there.

Seth McFarland weighs in with “I Want a Gun for Christmas” from American Dad. Pop rock-lite.

The Blenders a cappella “I Bought You a Plastic Star,” but make it sexy. Huh. Bohuslän Big Band make it swing.

I hope you’ve heard “Millennium Falcon for Christmas” by John Arnealio. I posted it before. It’s boss. And heartbreaking. And folk/rock.

Best Christmas gift ever? “The Murple’s Magic Hat” seems to be the wish of infinite wishes, according to the kidrapblues from A Halo Called Fred. Must hear this.

First Atom crows how “I Bought You a Sweater.” Is that hipster lingo for something i should know about? Bouncy alt-pop, it’s in the spirit of the holiday, hey.

Presents of Mine: deliverance

How’d those Christmas presents become yours? Santa, take a bow!

Walter Schumann and Jester Hairston credit Santa (briefly) while extolling those wonderful “Christmas Gifts.” A repost, but so worth the gospel jubilation.

Pamela Hines cruises the octaves for her “Gift of Giving.” Santa is nearly as amazing as her jazz vocals.

Mostly we LOVE Santa for all that he does. The Flashcats rock in the poppiest way with “I Wanna be Santa’s Present.” She wants to ride on his big sleigh–snicker! Wait, she marries him!?

Noelle Bangert salutes the season with an uptempo pop blues number, “Leave a Present for Me.” She’s bending over backwards for Santa. Fun song.

Presents of Mine: gee and/or jay whiz

Piggybacking off the big guy, many noel-ators point out that Jesus is the gift. Period. They beat that oxen to death with drivel and doggerel. Yet, a couple presents-in-the-manger pieces are listenable.

Gotta give it up for James Brown, the hardest to understand man in show business for “A Gift,” a disco-soul hymn to all things (incl. God).

Smoothing out the backbeat with a picturesque family scene of suicide Shirley Lee evokes a meaningful Nativity in the alt-folk “The Christmas Present.” Not the same old observance.

Grace in Christmas take the time to stop and think (and shatter glass) with gospel poppin’ in “A Gift on Your Birthday.” Point is, all y’all swapping presents, but whose day is it?!

Presents of Mine: bad paper

How can anyone misconstrue the innocent notion of wrapping Christmas gifts?

Spongebob Square Pants (feat. Patrick) ruins the joy with their hyperactive hijinks in “Pretty Ribbons and Bows.” Hard rock screaming for the kiddos.

Shifinger have a whole ‘nother use for our product with “Xmas Paper up My Arse.” Be assured, it was out of absolute necessity. Colorful punk.

Dr. BLT (feat. Gary LaDuke) repurpose our topic with “Wrap It up,” which is not about paper at all–it’s about (shhh) protecting the gift below the belt. Not exactly blue bluesy folk.

ADHD time in the (un)wrapping dept. Porter Christensen’s “Bubble Wrap Rap” seems to be harmless white hip hop about a boy and his love of packaging. Then–fight scene!

DG also works that naughty idea with “Wrap It Like a Christmas Present.” Wandering rap full of double meanings. Possibly funny STD PA.

Nickolodeon (yeah, the pay cable channel people used to watch) warn us what might happen to all that disregarded wrapping paper afterwards with “Randall the Wrapping Paper Monster.” Run! Hide! Recycle!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q42ZotQ1Znw&t=71s

Presents of Mine: pop goes the welfare

I still like a good song, even when it’s about dire straits.

Novelty overwhelms “Broke Christmas” by John Paul sharp and Paul Escalante. Their experimental pop is half cartoon soundtrack, half hip hop, half-assed fun.

Hot Buttered Elves have folk rock tune “Broke for Christmas” that neither glamorizes, wallows, or mocks impecuniousness. I’ll be listening to this more than once.

Presents of Mine: overdrawn at the snow bank

Time for attempted comedy on behalf of those without a pot to jingle in.

Voice maestro Billy West overspends for fun in his sleazy pop “I Wasn’t Broke for Christmas This Year.” Conspicuous consumption comedy.

TampaStan picks and grins some lighthearted ‘grass in “This Christmas (We’re Gonna Go for Broke).” He’s spending more than he has but it’s all for a good cause: a funny song!

Bing Bupkis and the Krenshaw Kids toil to bring you a ’70s Christmas special style musical number with “I’m Broke Again this Christmas.” Thanks anyway.

Mitch Benn goes big with “We Pretty Much Broke the Bank this Christmas.” Showstopping drollery.

3rd Alley jolly up the dire circumstances with “Broke Christmas.” Doesn’t matter if you’re naughty when you’re for naught, eh wot? Bouncy tin pan alley.

Presents of Mine: going for broke

Some extraordinary circumstances squeeze our resources when it comes to Xmas buying.

Ramon from Regular Car Reviews raps a sad set of stories about guys who have to buy a new car, therefore have no capital to gift unto family. “Broke for Christmas” is truly a one of a kind oddity.

Struggling funnyman Hadadington ukes it up with “A Broke Millennial’s Christmas.” He’s been working for free… Poor guy.

Jordan McAlinden recounts the bad gambler’s Christmas problem in “‘Tis the Season to be Broke Again.” British pop rock, which always adds a certain charm to the misery.

Presents of Mine: shopping late

It’s only too late when the fat man drops….

Keb Mo cools the yule with “Shopping on Christmas Eve,” the reverie of a mellow Motown moseyer. It’s a lifestyle.

A Cooper and D McFarland hip hop the horrible holiday hesitations of “Last Minute Shopping.” Is that a glimmer of urban hope? You fool!

Nathan Fleet will call you on this disorganized donating! He can smell “Last Minute Gifts” from under the tree and he’d rather you change your religion (or kick him underneath) than subject him to this uselessness. Comedy pop.