Rapping a sad story, Newland misses her: Man I ain’t been no help; She text me told me get my life –Oww or I’ll catch hell. “Don’t Feel Like Christmas” makes it personal.
“Another Rotten Christmas” from Bright Kelly seems colder and darker ‘cuz he’s missin’ you, hon. I wish you were a helluva lot closer, he warbles with R+B pop.
I don’t always get the K-pop. When a song advises: Trying to take sleeping pills just because you are lonely? Oh please don’t–hell no, thats so wasting your Christmas, I have to wonder what the demographic really is. “새해까지 크리스마스” [English Version] by 모몽크루 is ‘Christmas ‘Til New Year.’ Hopeful? It IS pop.
OKXO is racing ennui against malaise with the upbeat “Hell of a Christmas.” You don’t really care If the world ends tomorrow he maintains, so forget the whole thing. Huh, kids today.
Joe Dolezal swings pop around the world. They seem to have Christmas every where. Then he belts out “Do They Have Christmas in Hell?” Check with Trip Advisor.
Could it get any worse? Ask Two-Ton Santa! The paperboy hanged his cat! To learn more meanness check out “Merry Christmas From Hell.” Unplugged lite rock.
“The Ultimate Boon” is The Mystery Fax Machine Orchestra’s cutie-pie spinout of frustrations and desperations for the holidays. And Jan. 12… and Mar. 22…. guess it’s interminable. –oh no, the title is more sinister than we thought.
Miller also hates this time of the year. “Merry Christmas From Hell” is blowsy blues that spreads the pain.
Mixing up the two holidays, Type O Negative posits that “Halloween in Heaven” is Christmas in Hell. The rocking metal might make you into a believer.
Mr Irish Bastard has a cussy grudge agin’ ye and hopes you spend “Christmas in Hell.” BLUE ALERT Celtic yelling.
Crawford Smith croons a pop wiki about “Christmas in Hell” which includes not just demons and serpents, but Cerberus and Chiron. Baal and Mammon are also name checked. It takes an underworld.
Greedy greedy kiddos may as well be “Sitting on Satan’s Lap.” Smee delivers again with peppy pop. Boy, that list goes on and on. How does The Evil One have the patience to listen to all that?
Mortuary claims I am Satan in the slow rap “Halloween on Christmas.” Inclusivity can go too far.
“Merry Christmas Satan” from Night Smoker is more of his greetings to you than sucking up to his forked tongue. Short hard metal rock.
Terry Silva picks at a sore i’ve been worried about. If JC’s appearance opened the way for forgiveness from grievous sin, what’s to stop an enterprising young nogudnik from transgressing (as in BLUE ALERT: Worship Satan’s cock), then seeking forgiveness again and again. “Christmas Songs” may not settle that quandary, but the wound is flowing freely now thanks to his subtle pop.
The Other side hard metals “Satan Claus” to lead us to irony, gravity, and choking up blood. Add ferocity and you got Yahtzee.
La Funky Simia tells the tale of the little one who misspells Dear Santa Claus. and writes “Satan Claus” summoning the end of the world, as well as a place in Hell that teaches proper orthography. Pop v. metal splendor.
The shtriga in Albania, vrykolakas in Greece and strigoi in Romania are a far cry from the stylish, charismatic vampire of today. These soul-less demonically possessed corpses feed off of us because otherwise they have no animus. So, like a Hollywood agent.
Rev. Wyrdsli uses Anne Rice’s fictive Lestaat to feature in the bloodbath “Vampire Christmas.” Santa shows up, but to little purpose. Spoken caroldie.
Deth Elf livens up the party with their jounces metal “Vampire Christmas.” Wee!
Truman Proudfoot and David Kandal bust some rhymes with gothic folk rock in their “Vampire Christmas.” They’re everywhere. Even in the woods. Which is good news for humans–lots of stakes there, guys.
Rainbow Plaid’s “Vampire Santa” is your standard terror/lite metal warning.
30 Nights of Violence speed up the metal for heir “Vampire Santa.” More a propos.
Vom Norton sheds light on the whole solstice for Xmas dither: “Love Xmas, Hate Vampires” says it all, with groovy retro pop rock. Many good turning tips.
Hunter’s Christmas Project seems to worry that “Robot Santa” knows when you’re sleeping etc. bc it uses spy gear and drones. Scary, yet pop.
P-Dog & Maddog enters the realm of experimental music, accidentally i presume, with “Robot Santa.” Confrontation with shooting seems to be the reason for the season.
Benny Holmes raps the story of Santa being replaced with a machine in “DarcYLand – Robot Santa.” Fun.
Glial Cell foretells Santa’s passing kickstarting governmental automation for a moving pop brio “Robot Santa.” But, love–?
The Bunkhouse Boys make punk of “Robot Santa Claus.” It’s just another song.
Were you loo0king for more Futurama Robot Santa? Screamerclauz drops samples of the show into their electronic metal “Robosanta.” It’s funny ‘cuz it’s deadly.
Steve Paget welcomes us to the house of “Robot Jesus.” A nice electronic pop introduction.
Funky blues from La Tormenta lays out “Robot Jesus” as rubbet hay-seuss. Robot or alien?
“Robot Jesus UFO” settles that debate with scampering backbeaten rock via The Demons of Folk. Check your uplink prayer unit.
“Robot Jesus – A Christmas Song” is another electronically deranged recitation this time cleverly enunciated by kharmakazy.
Bonecage’s “Merry Christmas Robot Christ” introduces a whole new Second Coming. And not a nice one, despite the quite danceable pop music. The End.
The singularity may be only a couple decades off, but as with most prophecies our general intelligence and anxiety of overlording artificial intelligence or robotic sentience will preclude any takeover. The actual robopocalypse will be with a whimper, not a bang. We will become them, they will become us. No difference… after 2050 or so.
Still, it’s my opportunity to once again include MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS SONG of all time. Jonathan Coulton’s boss pop “Chiron Beta Prime.”
Now try “The Christmas Robot” by MJ Hibbett & The Validators! This apparently children’s song pits The Christmas Dinosaur against humankind’s nemesis to violent effect. The ending hints at Christmas spirit, but then–
Retrobot shows us the evolutionary beginning of these masters with their “Christmas Robot.” EDM for kids.
Rampaging robots are sometimes just in pain, like the “Secret Robotic Gorilla Christmas” from Hot Buttered Elves. Brief sharp pop.
The Game Chasers go a different route with their “Christmas Robotica.” Lost in space these artificial beings chase booty… for Christmas. Prog/metal inexplicableness.
JPK tootles out some electronica in order to celebrate “Christmas Robot.” It’ll be the first to tell you: does not compute.
Qae also simply tootles the electronica for “Robot Christmas.” No judgment, just EDM.
Dogstooth gets down to brass tacks with “Killer Robot Christmas.” No Futurama icons were harmed during the metal of this song. But all meatbags are in jeopardy.
Tyrannosaurus Mouse warns us of all the hidden perils in a “Robot Christmas.” Emotional hair metal.
Youth on Track rock for “The Robots at Christmas.” Will you get one for a present? Will it kill you? Give their pieces a chance….
Proton Packs’s “Junkie Robot Christmas” pops the metal with adult intent. Were WE the robots all along?
And then there’s the helpful robots. Parry Gripp does not overthink the concept when he pops us “Merry Christmas from TacoBot.” Watch the extra cheese.
“Otto the Christmas Drone” is Music Production’s jazzy lite pop intro to another helper who can get into places reindeer won’t. So, Rudolph’s replaced, but gets to vacation. Wild tempo.
Ice Cream Vendors get some ’90s retro pop for the artificial sounding “Robot Christmas.” This time it’s celebration. And what do robots have for dessert–?
