Year-round Yuletide oddities
These year references are stretching back pretty far… time to drown in treacly nostalgia!
Ye-haw! Modern pop country from Michael Ray. One Day All You’re Gonna Have is a “Picture“! It’s just that back then it was a printed photograph (KODAK is product placed in the first line), not no digital image. Even with people still dying today, memories are snaps. Don’t forget ’em.
More oversea dads are missed by kids who hate the sneaky cowards who steal our planes and crash ’em into buildings. Dad’ll explain it all when he gets back, but the “Dear Santa 2002” letter is the spoken country assigned to tug on our heartstrings–or stomach contents. Uncle Ted Buckley tells it straight-arrowed.
The Frickin’ A guys retooled their ‘Merry Frickin’ Christmas’ novelty carol for Boston MLB fans for “Merry Merry Merry Frickin’ Christmas (World Champion Red Sox Anthem).” Happy 2004, youse guise. (There’s a 2013 update that i somehow passed over….)
“The Final Christmas Song” (bite thy tongue!) by Thorsø All-Stars (feat. Michael Andersen, Allan Laursen) is a jolly men’s choir serious address on all those other songs–and beer. (2004 gets some songwriter shoutout i can’t follow.)
“Christmas in Crawford, 2004” comes across as gentle American pastoralism. But, knowing Roy Zimmerman, this satirical basing takes down the culturally blind G.W. Bush who hailed from this nowheresville. Country cuts.
The Long Ryders, of The Paisley Underground, get my attention with “Christmas in New Zealand,” alt-country about how they’re down under without you–so far away in America (less than ten thousand, actually–maybe Ireland, if you don’t fly? All right, the way the Earth works, you can never be more than 12,450 miles from anyone; so, poetic license). The song, however, is great stuff.
Is one in a million exceptional any more?
Love returns with Fran Archer and Tom Bell’s soul-searching “You’re One in a Million.” This dirge is on a Xmas album. So there.
Tenille Townes decorates her “One in a Million” with much more Christmas imagery. Still loving, but real soul.
“Becoming Santa” may not sound like a one in a million shot, but Swedish Metal Mafia make the most of the concept.
Dr. Elmo mixes greed with underachievement (and cornball country pop) for his “Christmas Millionaire.” The lyrics claim he wishes he had a hit Christmas song and got rich… Hang on, he’s done that. Oooh, the irony!
Derek A. Dempsey’s wacky metaphors may have graced the blog before, but his country cum hipster coffee house poetry matters, dammit! “Six Billion Lights (On the World’s Biggest Christmas Tree)” may have undercounted the world’s population for better syncopation, or, as i believe, has left out the pagans.
Some ask questions about the flying sleigh ‘cuz they’re big fat doubters. They’re not going to believe any of your mumbo jolliness.
Even though Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers saw how “Reindeer Can Fly” themselves, they still question. the physics and natural science of it all. It can’t be… seeing is not believing… they even swear slightly. Driving pop.
Jan Farley hits novelty country kid music in the face with “How Do Reindeer Fly?” Keep scratching that itch, it’ll never heal.
Santa’s rigorous system of Big Brother may have been helped by a reindeer. No, not just any of the reindeer. “Walker, Texas Reindeer” has his eye of justice on you. Don’t. Be. Naughty. Axis of Awesome’s cowboy country music intro is, in a word, awesome.
Homophobic country comedy’s a cottage industry. So there’s even a cover of Cledus T. Judd’s “Stephon the Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer” by Mac McAnally. The ironic indignation of allowing for the gay is matched only by the extent to which this musical production makes an actual song.
Anybody remember Loretta Lynn’s alternative to Rudolph “Shadrack the Black Reindeer“? This prankster just wants a chance, he’s the fastest ever was! This Black doesn’t want to put anyone outta work, though. Turns out the team works best integrated. Holy Toledo.
Take a time travel from 1974 to 2012 before you’re done and check David Verity‘s ticktockin’ soft rock version.