Author: douglove1225

Polysomnography: Turndown Service

So, Baby Jesus is born on Christmas and all. And he’s tender and mild. No crying, first words, or weird poops. That just leaves beaming beatifically… and sleeping.

“Tiny Little Baby” by Cheryl L. Gleason is about that heavenly slumber; but its kidsong punctuated with Shushes. Who’s making a racket? The donkey?

“Softly Sleeps a Little Boy” is Michael Warner leading the chorus in… well… louder and louder chorale. Shush!

The Caroleers crescendo in a churchload hymn-otizing “Softly the Night is Sleeping.” It’s all solemn, serious, and short (from like a Readers’ Digest of hymns). Bow your heads and snore.

Polysomnography: Are You Sure You Went Potty?

I’ll sleep until I’m tired, declares Norick Eve in the string-heavy indie “Christmas Sox.” They seem to have stopped fighting it finally.

Cori Connor’s “Sleepy Little Town” puts the whole village down for a rest for the holidays. Melodic folk.

Welcome back, The Rosebuds! “Blackout Choir” takes their indie folk perfection to the whole world, asleep though it be.

Polsomnography: Jammies

Fun Yunz pull the amateurish boys in the basement amusing themselves schtick with “Sleepy Time.” Ostensibly a folk strummer of Xmas anticipation, but it’s just a sophomoric crackup.

Maple Leaf Learning’s “Ho Ho Ho Intro” points out how late it is (nine o’clock!). It’s only a spoken intro, but the lesson is timeless (well, figuratively).

Speaking of spoken “We’ve Got A Lotta Latkes” from The Jewish Wedding Band begins with food, but leads to bedtime. Consult your doctor if this kidsong persists more than four minutes. (It’s about time our good friend Hanukkah required sleep.)

Polysomnography: Nod

“It’s the Eve” from Black Cherry succinctly send you a Good Night with chanting a la pop.

“Sleep Well Little Children” is the Rosemary Clooney easy listening warbler from long ago. (From yon and yawn.) It’s about Xmas Eve, so not just a lullaby.

Richard Schletty (w/André Van Haren) machinates the sentiment with an oddly steampunk chorale in “Sleep, Baby, Sleep.” It’s uplifting AND dehumanizing!

Polysomnography: Falling

How hard is it to corral the kids Xmas Eve?

Annette Funicello and Tommy Sands croon to children “Go to Sleep.” It’s from a sort-of Christmas musical, so it gets in.

“Jingle Jingle Bling Bling” is Youth on Track’s rap about Eve prep. The kids need to sleep gets put on a loop.

Kj52 & Spechouse want to know: Do You Not Know How to Sleep?! in the hilarious parental meltdown “Go to Bed.” Rap fun with Jingle Bells influences.

Somnography: Asleep on One’s Feet

As others go to sleep, Secret Sinclair’s would like to be “Where You are (Is Where I’d Like to Be).” Hey, i just said that. Lugubrious folk pop.

Cher shares the stage with Stevie Wonder for “What Christmas Means to Me.” Going to sleep is one of those things. Soul stirred pop.

Mista Ben Hood raps it out. “Ready for the Holidays” tells you to Go To Sleep. It’s the reason for the season.

Polysomnography: Say Your Prayers

Go to sleep Xmas Eve… for God!

Mache uptempos “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” as a grateful prayer for the gifts You bring to me. Nice, but that’s like tipping before the meal. Or it’s not about Christmas, i guess.

Chicago mashes up the whole season with their quite brassy “Child’s Prayer.” It’s around about Xmas, i swear.

Libera takes the act to church with the choir performing “When at Night I Go to Sleep.” I have slept there, too.

Polysomnography: Oscitancy

Too creepy to be a lullaby, Jav Douglass (and friends)’s “Oh, Baby, Don’t Cry” is the go-to-sleep Xmas song you didn’t ask for, but now can’t live without. Inspirational pop harmony.

Too tragic to be a lullaby, The Soldiers send orders to go to sleep in their R+B-adjacent “A Soldier’s Christmas Letter.”

If we all go to sleep, He’ll be quicker now intones the modulator in Slimes Souls’ “Santa’s Factory.” Well, i have it on good authority that’s what’s said. Who can tell? Fidgety pop.

Polysomnography: Sandman’s Coming

Randall Paskemin uses comedy in “The Rezville Christmas Show” to introduce the Weasels singing “Santa’s Near (Go to Sleep)” for some strange reason i can’t see. It’s all very pop and fresh.

“Go To Sleep Under The Xmas Tree” from Retrospec is also not musical as much as it is a DJing of disparate media bites with unrealized purpose. Weee!

sylviaonthehighway belts out a pop ballad about Santa holding sleep hostage in the first 50 seconds of the epic “I Met Santa.” The remaining ten minutes are silence. It’s a metaphor for life! Go to sleep!

Polysomnography: Blanket Drill BLUE ALERT

“It’s Finally Christmas Time” by El Domiii is practicing English, but with all the customs in place. Much is made of Santa getting to watch–but not you! Go to bed! Lounge pop.

The Wiggles recommend going to bed and making a wish when “Here Come the Reindeer.” Rock and roll -ish, but what’s the deal with checking out Santa’s belt buckle??

BLUE ALERT! “Go the Fuck to Sleep (Christmas Is Coming)” is Wolf Blitzer (the band)’s attempt to cash in on Adam Mansbach’s runaway bestseller. But the gentle lullaby pop doesn’t threaten just with Santa, but also with Jesus coming to your house. Saw those logs and no one will go to hell.