Well, if it’s a “Christmas in the Honky Tonk” there’s gotta be a jukebox. Even AI knows that. Follow along with Dakimo’s honky tonk tune and see yer own self. Even there “Silent Night in the Bar” says the same thing, this time with torchy country.
An old truck, whispering pines, a jukebox… must be “A Country Christmas” in AI land, so S.O.M. Mobile Disco sez. That smeary tinny vocals and that hint of western music, you’re all set.
More AI from Jingle Bots really hollering the CW about the jukebox playin’ all night long. No real trouble though for the “Rockin’est Christmas.”
Apparently the AI of Taylor Mackenzie Love’s “Rockin’ Christmas Night” figures the jukebox is a home edition. No sticky bar at all. Only watered down CW.
GranDilusionist adds a cowboy quality to the AI CW for “Last Call on Christmas Eve.” Here the juke plays only for the lonely.
“The Christmas Jukebox” ostensibly by Bobby Baxton stinks of CW AI, but it delivers the message: colors, lights, action.
Juke joints were centers of trouble, thus the coin operated music machine therein was the eye of the strumming. It’s okay to associate them with rednecks. And sad, lonely souls.
‘Pretty Paper’ is playing on the jukebox, for Alan Jackson’s broke-hearted “Honky Tonk Christmas.” This country western may not wax poetic, but it saxes up the joint.
Also moon-eyed, Scout Speer honkies the tonk for “Coming Over For Christmas.” She’s got a plan of action, not the expected from barflies hearkening to the jukebox.
Broken almost beyond belief, The Fades sound off their indie about your cruelty “Last Christmas (On the Beach).” Their only solace was a jukebox in a bar full of racist homophobes. Yowza.
Put a coin in the jukebox won’t you dear? drawls John Pedigo’s Magic Pilsner for the slow dancing “Counting Back Down (To Next Christmas Time).” More despair that the next quarter mayn’t cure.
Calmer, Bronwen’s “Christmas After All” sets The jukeboxplays,/We’ll sing til morn, but in a civilized Celtic way.
Sometimes the jukebox is unavoidable. “Already Home” is the ironic CW indie from Destin, where she tells of the long drive after the missed flight, and the dive they hit for coffee. They’re together, if not home, so… home. Pretty.
It’s Nat King Cole on the jukebox when “Mrs. Christmas” and Charge the Atlantic are the only ones bobbing over beers. Oddly pop indie.
It’s ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ on the jukebox when Adam Tomcat hits “Christmas in the Country.” Smooth, if not charismatic for country music.
Same tune on the box for “Neon Christmas” wherein Mitchell Tenpenny brings the twang. Pop country can work as music, dammit.
Now it’s ‘Islands in the Stream’ (??) on the jukebox for “State with Bear on Flag” with James Mean strumming for all he’s worth on this folk rock indie. More sorrow drowning.
And so it’s now ‘Blue Eyes Cryin’ in the Rain’ on the jukebox for the truly novel “Chinese Cowboy Hat.” KC Glynn features a trucker with an existential crisis to a metronomic country beat.
From ‘Home Alone 2’ Ryan Buell loops dialogue about using a branded Talkbox but runs it all through a Talkbox. “The Talkboy” is a curiosity piece worth noting.
In “A Talkbox Nutcracker,” Mr. Talkbox synth raps to THAT tune about music and songs and there’s a stereo in there somewhere. But it’s all about messing with the voice.
So it’s Frank on the stereo for “What About The Holidays,” Ren Richards reaching through club blues to bring us down. Loneliness and stereos don’t mix!
Hey, that’s not Frank, that’s Michael Bible on the stereo “Under the Snow” where LYGA pines for your love. Easy listening indie.
Then it’s Mariah on the stereo for the nasally Alexis Lynn singing “December Dreaming” with soft pop slurring. Must you?
Sadly it’s still Mariah on the stereo (obvi) when Chai Rosé swims through the R+B pop of “All I Really Need.” Not what i need at this time.
Finally, it’s Boston on the stereo for the ’80s party rock manifesto “Christmas Song” by Bedlight for Blue Eyes. It’s a rager down in Berkeley Heights. Hope you got the invite. (Now that‘s a story.)
It’s microphone placement; it’s speaker placement; it’s two-eared simulation of reality. Status ran away with itself, depending on how big your stereo was back in my home.
And it’s not a party without this item. Blasting lucky Christmas songs, on the stereo is all it takes to make a “Wild Christmas” according to Chris Trousdale. Grungy pop.
The stereo’s loud, the party’s oouttacontrol, we’re all “Back in Town” for Xmas with the metal rock of Maddam. It’s angry but inviting.
The Temptations lay a lady trap with their easy listening doowop “Everything for Christmas.” And the stereo is filled with yuletide carols old and new. Your move, baby.
“Christmas Down Under” may not have fireplaces roaring or Jack Frost nipping the noses, but the metal AI from Endless Refrain insists on the stereo roaring and the neighbors nosing.
I don’t want a lot this Christmas/Just play the songs I know, on yourstereo blues rocks Dave Siverns in the whimsical “Falala.” A little easy listening, but fun.
Standards playing on the stereo is just another sign that”It’s Christmas.” CeCe Winans spritzes the easy listening R+B, but it’s all cliche.
I guess the stereo is so oldfashioned that it represents the lost past, the regretful long past, in “We were All Together.” Tyson Motsenbocker goes for the childhood sads with indie folk.
High Fidelity stereo equipment becomes the rage just as rock and roll begins, so this playing machine is the HIpster’s FIrst choice.
In case you’re not picking up what imma laying down, “Kitschy Christmas” from Molly and the Starlites draws out the rock/pop to slow-mo with all the kooky cousins attending the party. Attention, campers! (Burl Ives is playing on the HiFi.)
From the appropriate time era, Detroit Junior wants ya to turn up your hi-fi (turn it up loud) on “Christmas Day.” Groovin’ Motown rock.
“Merry Christmas, Baby” hails from 1947 (!) at least from Johnny Moore’s Three Blazers. The playa here Bought me a hi-fi for Christmas, now I’m living in Paradise. Roots of R’n’R, babies! [But if you want to feel like you’re on drugs, try Elvis Presley technologically duetted with Gretchen Wilson from 2008 as slow as the law of music allows.]
Angry at meaningless catchphrases and cliches, Veaux belts out the slow indie “Falling Like Snow” with meaningless catch phrases and cliche… ironically! (Yeah, you and I/Love on thehi-fi.)
The Winter Spirits make the aftermath of heartbreak cooler than cool with the jazzy alt-rock of “Winter Spirits.” (Oh you can take that Hi-Fiif you please.) Definitely play this on low volume for your next Yes, it IS a bachelor pad get-together.
Taking a spin on Edward Hare’s 19022 prank novelty Christmas song, Emanuele Arielli mashes multimedia together for “Last Christmas Santa was Hiding in the Phonograph,” a mess of genre, temperament, and holiday. Scary.
Harry E. Humphrey also recorded this milestone with “Santa Claus Hides in Your Phonograph.” It’s no longer quaint. He’s threatening you with death here.
Yes, the gramophone is about the oldest technology we have for spinning music, Xmas or otherwise.
Must needs return to “Turntable Under My Tree” from The Mangles, a hepped up swinger of a rock number. That slaps.
“Christmas in L.A.” is raspy rap from Myka 9, Aceyalone, Medusa The Gangsta Goddess, 2Mex, Ozomatli, DJ Mona Lisa & Mixmaster Wolf about the highs and lows of childhood. (Yes, yes yaw’ll! I got my first turntable!!)
Then there was that one Christmas… you know… when you threw my turntable “Against My Wall” and broke it. Lukie Sherman remembers. Indie.
Santa seems to be moonlighting. He’s scratchin’ on the turntable, makin’ it spin, so goes the AI of Dennis Johnson. “Santa’s Got the Beat” is slop pop about the DJ Master Presents.
Your grampa’s grampa’s turntable was a windup box that played a disk or cylinder for a short period of time. But it saved on the music lessons.
Joe Cerisano’s “Music Box” gets sentimental with orchestrated easy listening. Then there’s the fireplace. It’s a whole ensemble. Trans-Siberian Orchestra adds more gravitas to this. “Music Box Blues” is yet another version of this same song by that same last group. But this time it rocks.
Shortly after Apple cornered the song market with iTunes, the portable mp3 player, the iPod, swept down upon us. Almost a half a billion of these came and went through the wash.
Mark Hewes weighs the difference in Xmas gifts, ie: “The Frankincense vs. the iPod.” In his tickled pop, the music machine wins–even for Baby Jay.
Hello Saferide revisits “iPod-X-Mas,” an indie bit of insistence that makes millennial priorities clear. (Gloria Gaynor?)
Then there’s the backlash of not getting an expensive item: A R C A D E S uses nails-on-a-chalkboard falsetto to complain “i wanted an ipad for christmas.” The protagonist of this indie resorts to tantrums to make feelings more apparent.
