The Future: Aliens! (2)

One of the creepiest translations of the Christmas story is the Erich von Daniken Chariots of the Gods late ’60s conspiracy that all extra terrestrials are us from the future or our ancestors. God(s) means human/Jesus is human god/that’s an alien, dude. (It helped to be high to swallow all of this.)

Glen Scrivener draws an analogy between “The Martian Came Down” and the angel Gabriel coming down for the Advent. Swinging kid folk with a confusing message. Poor children in  the audience!

Chris de Burgh goes full ’70s psychedelic folk with his “A Spaceman Came Traveling,” likely picturing Bowie as the man who fell to Earth. This guy hit it big in ’68 with ‘The Lady in Red’ and has continued his singing career in Norway and Brazil. Here he meanders through images that may or may not be Christmas.

The Future: Aliens! (1)

The notions of alien life forms visiting has evolved drastically since Roswell and before. Today we scoff and joke. Danny Kastner, during some fund raising thing for his own project, devotes funny improv songs to benefactors. For Brick he noodles out the Twilight Zone intro and barfs out some words for his “Alien Christmas Song.” Ha ha.

Back in the ’50s, however, our Earth stood still as we watched the skies. Aliens were as worrisome as nuclear destruction.

Dickie Goodman with pal Bill Buchanan were some of the swinginest DJS of the ’50s, sampling lines of songs to answer serious intrerview questions. When they released “The Flying Saucer” with these bits they were sued. Later, exonerated, they released “The Creature (From a Science Fiction Movie)” and “Buchanan and Goodman on Trial.” Crazy Cats.

For our purposes, consider this 1957 view of scientifically fictive alien invasions “Santa and the Satellite” including the oh so important ‘Turn the record over’ transition for those not as familiar with 45s.

The Future: All Other SF TV+Movies

Other science fiction futuristic shows and movies have little Christmas song love. Battlestar Glactica? Farscape? Babylon 5? Stargate? ALF? Red Dwarf? VR5? Continuum? Forget it.

Then there’s Firefly.

Mikey Mason, the least likely Bubba to sell a sentimental nerd ballad, wails through the 5 stages of loss for that ’02 Joss Whedon western/space opera mashup misstep in “Please Bring Firefly Back for Christmas.”

The Future: Star Trek (4)

Bottom of the barrel time.

Many a Christmas skit and clipshow set to classic Christmas carols limn the database for the avid trekkie to troll merrily, merrily. But for me, odd holiday music is all that matters.

Of course there’s a “12 Days.” Of course there is. There ya go. Sung by Phan643.

But, to put a finish on Star Fleet, The Prime Directive, the Kobayashi Maru Test, and all other five year missions… here is Noon Experience’s “Borg Christmas.” Sigh.

The Future: Star Trek (3)

Can’t close out Star Trek without kudos to Rick Moyer’s, a website where anyone can donate a free upload of fun fan songs/parodies for their scifi delights.

Dude has himself cobbled together a free album Merry Trekmas. Sure, it’s mostly lame caroldies (Christmas songs with Star Trek lyrics). But this is the guy’s hobby’s gone internet. HE’S GOT AN ALBUM.


Only a couple of these have been ‘tubed, like “Here Comes Enterprise‘” and “Have Yourself a Hairy Little Creature” (tribbles). And i might have a predisposition to like “Away Team with a Phaser.”

But, if nothing else, you simply must view the commercial for this project:

The Future: Star Trek (2)

Fame and notoriety are mucho different, as the stars of Star Trek have learned over the decades. Some have albums out, but none have had unironic hits.

I can find no Leonard Nimoy Hanukkah Song… and so much did i want to. He has a catchy explanation of the holiday set to electronica from an NPR special introducing a song (not included here). You can hear the arching eyebrow during these  keen observations on his people.

Most noticed musically is self parody William Shatner. I hate to repeat myself, but his “Good King Wenceslas” is something else. Kevin and Bean also persuaded him to take on a humorful “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” It is as only the Shat can do. (This ‘tube version clumsily cuts off a few secs early: you are missin’ nothin’.)

Chelsea P Manders has posted a video from ‘Tiffany’ as a fan Christmas Song tribute to Wil Wheaton. Clips of Wil make this allowable to our current context. Otherwise, yikes.

Since i opened that door, how about Gerald Walker’s hip hop “All I Want for Christmas is Zoe Saldano?” Naw, i guess not.

One of the coolest personalities to emerge from the universe of Star Trek is activist/humorist George Takei. His “Christmas Song” needs a moment of your time.

The Future: Star Trek (1)

Star Trek has perhaps older, less whimsical fans than Star Wars. And has made a few billion$ less. Or maybe this is Science Fiction (easily extrapolated from our current tech) as opposed to Fantasy (so far removed from our tech that it appears magic). Regardless, Star Trek has fewer Christmas carols.

This big one is a spoken word bit from a couple years back. Three million views. Linked to death (even i threw it up on FB). But Did You Know someone else (Ben L?) last year tried to match that awesome clip show with Another Trek Christmas Song?! “All I Want for Christmas::Star Trek Mashup” lands on that overplayed, overparodized Carey-thing with less dexterity than the earlier. Key phrase-clips are repeated, splices are frenetic, gags are forced for time constraints. But the initial humor is wonderful. Check it out.

So let’s return to yesteryear: James Covenant’s original bit o’ genius “Captain Picard Sings ‘Let it Snow!'” complete with his Kickstarter commercial for his yet-to-be-released video game.

The Future: Star Wars (5)

Star Wars is so original and imaginative (wink wink) that it simply must beget original Christmas songs–not only parodies. So let’s explore the few, the proud, the Jedi of carols.

With more fun than talent (like with me and you), Sci-Fried featuring Marc With a C soft-rock out to “Star Wars Christmas.” It’s not quite the Dark side, but it is about getting. And puppets!

Steve Yotch Crotch gives us “The Star Wars Christmas Song” about a simple Christmas wish for 2015. Amateur fun. You should  be amateurishly amused.

Zachary Padilla raps “Star Wars is Better than Christmas” because he’s got his priorities straight. And maybe he’s not Christian.

StarrySky has wrapped up a badly translated “Santa Vader” full of emo manga. It’s odd and dark and catchy. (I KNEW the Dark Side had the best cookies!) (Francophiles please to follow the directions at the end of the video.)(Then tell me what the noel is going on here.)

The Future: Star Wars (4)

So, obviously, the thing to do with iconic works like Star Wars is to transpose the canon into Christmas music: instant comedy gonna get ya!

Nerdist Chris Hardwick does his best with James Cordon on the latter’s talk show to sing a funny “Star Wars Song” set to ‘The Christmas Song.’ A couple good lines. Jedi Music Beats has transformed this okay comedy into a soso video.

Allergic to Life Productions has that old gag about sampling a made-up “Star Wars Christmas Album” to get you to buy it. ‘Joy to the World,’ ’12 Days of Christmas,’ and ‘Silent Night’ get funny-voiced by emerging impersonators.

Not as on the nose is Omega Film force with “Darth Vader’s Christmas Album.” Hey it’s hard to understand him!

Inevitable but not essential is Sharky Bushbaby’s “12 Days of Star Wars Christmas.” It coulda been worse. Ditto Skyguys Skygirl’s “12 Days of Christmas Clone Wars” which features the cartoon series. Newport Med Specialty Healthcare has an unspoken visual bit of ICD Codes to treat 12 days of Star Wars injuries. View stat. Peter Jones’s unplugged “12” is only if you want to complete your collection. (And Air Bear‘s i guess. And OCYG‘s acting out the gifts like silly boys.)

Some of these involve a guy and enough chutzpah to sing badly in his room to his computer. Welcome, Chronoman with his “The Force” set to ‘Sleigh Ride.’ He’s got guts and wit. And i guess a lot of free time.

Jessica Munzlinger (with Teryaha) throws together a “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Star Wars” with a retelling of the original three–and potshots at the prequels. I see.

Mr. Repzion gets basement fanboy with a scooch of talent singing “Jango Bells” as a tribute to how disappointing the prequels were. Follow the lyrics for a couple good lines. Don’t stay for the out-takes/bloopers.

Jango Fett” by Blue Mantle Media is an awesome cobbling of clips to sing the ‘JB’ song with character dialogue. (Inspired by a Star Trek ‘tube we’ll get to later.)

Not a fan of just splicing together video games, but a callow version of the same process occurs with xKoekjex and his “Star Wars Jingle Bells.” Worth it.

Marks Laugh’s “Star Wars Jingle Bells” is childish and over quickly.

Too young to carry it off, Nathania Otniela Wollah sings to ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ with her “Star Wars is Coming Soon.” She seems to have lost a bet, but might be a great songstress later.

The Blonde Jedi does scarce better in her front room (swilling vino) singing “Greedo Got Run over by a Tauntaun.”

After falling into the bottle, she later sings “All I Want for Christmas is Luke.” Yeah, it’s about the new one.

Filling out her parody album, she then redeems herself slightly with “Vader Baby.” Nice, but she can’t sing.

Cindy P posts a fun take on McCartney’s ‘So This is Christmas’ with “Star Wars Christmas Song Reddit Secret Santa.” Trust me. Watch it.

Ben and Hannah Randall got it going on with “Padme Did You Know?” and “I’m Dreaming of a New Death Star.” Way to geek out… and by that i mean go dead serious esoteric with singing chops and nary a wink. Noel, kids.

Just as good is Vic Mignogna’s “Vader Did You Know?” (similar, but not as similar as it sounds) with full orchestrations and fun clip-storytelling. (Check out the Vader “Nooo!” from Ep III blended into the singing.)

Also well done is “Merry Sithmas” by Joe ‘Lord Bruticus’ Mignano (tune of ‘The Christmas Song’). Merry and dark.

Spike TV’s “Star Wars Holiday Commercial” ups the ante with some Stormtroopers donned with gay apparel line dancing to ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town.’ Winner winner.

Outstanding in his field is Luke Sienkowski from The FuMP with his “Star Wars Chanukah Song.” Beats Sandler.

But my tops is Steve Cavagna. With appropriately mediocre song quality he delivers  great editing and writing for “Walkers in a Winter Wonderland.”



The Future: Star Wars (3)

The kids call it mashups. I call it “singesthesia.” It’s that irresistible mix of tunes that get earwormed into your head. Because you feel the John Williams themes to Star Wars in your veins, you don’t need to hear all nine notes to know: ‘Darth Vader’s tune!’ But, then… when it turns into another song–holy fruit punch!

Side Notes tinker with their instruments and make “STAR WARS MAS.” Obvious, as they admit. But a good place to start.

Hoping to inspire high school bands, Jack Hopey posts sheet music with an electronic keyboard rendition of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas/Star Wars Theme Mashup.” Fascinating.

In a high school band practice room Good Vibes Percussion play out their little “Christmas/Star Wars Mashup” as well.

Next on violin is Chris Woods’s mashup including ‘Jingle Bells’, ‘Rudolph’, ‘Silent Night’, ’12 Days’, ‘Three Kings’, and perfect segues into themes. Virtuosoistic.

Sam Simmons gets into the spirit with “Star Wars Christmas Carols” while playing in traffic. He may have won a comedy award for this video but he relies a bit much on Wookie noise (& what’s with the Golden Girls tribute during the last minute?!).

The students of Solomon Schechter Day School come together cross-legged on their mat and sing the “Star Wars Hanukkah Song” to the main theme, and remind me what the holidays are all about. Aww.

Mostly i like James Griffiths tuning up the various themes to carols’ lyrics. Kinda catchy acappella.