Yo Ho Ho Ho-Bah & The Humbugs album

Full disclosure, the ‘Jolly Roger, the Christmas Pirate’ short musical theatre bit is only the last part of Bah & The Humbugs’ album Another Christmas Ruined. It begins with Santa (in disguise) questioning young Jenny about what she wants to Xmas in “The Only Thing on Jenny’s List.” Things turn ugly.

This causes Santa to question his raison d’etre. His existential crisis is summed up in the solo “I’m Not Obsessive.”

“The Spirit of Christmas Presents” haunts the haunted Santa to explain what is what. The moral of the song is: strength in numbers.

Out of the blue, pirates (“Jolly Roger and his Chorus of Pirates”) arrive–with a deal. They need help with the delivery of jacked booty. The waters are too hot these days.

The booty? “All You Need is Rum.” And it’s for Santa! (Boy, are the elves happy!)

Seeing his shot, Santa challenges Jolly Roger to an arm wrestling match–in the song “Arms”–as to who delivers Christmas presents!

The sponsor “Northern Lights” beer interrupts the longish match with an elvish commercial.

Spoiler alert–Santa wins. He’s “The North Pole Champ.” Elf dogpile!

Santa is so relieved not to be the target this holiday, he’s having “The Merriest Christmas of All.” What a party.

Jolly Roger gets his training from Santa in “The Tao of the Sleigh.” Apparently any monkey can do this, with the massive tech on Santa’s sleigh. The gifts will almost deliver themselves. Saying Ho Ho Ho, however, eludes him.

The actual story is just the postscript here: JR delivers, faces down the scary Jenny, and succeeds (and takes whiskey as well as cookies). Huzzah.

In “The Joyous Ending” Santa gloats. Jolly Roger shines. Phew.

That’s enough of that. Except for the men workshopping catch phrases. Oh, yeah–and don’t leave out your liquor.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-WhiteBeard

Does Santa have a pirate designation? According to School District 49 it’s ‘Mad Jackson.’ But i’m not feeling it.

Don’t forget Patchy the Pirate who introduces ‘SpongeBob SquarePants.’ He also introduces the Christmas special. With the theme song, and ‘Christmas!’ shouted at the end.

Parry Gripp’s triumphant return to our blog features funny voices, pop music, and rap, so… not my favorite–sorry. “Pirate Santa Claus” is a reformed plunderer, teaching kids important lessons. Yawn.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Lads’n’Lassies

The Wiggles’ returning pirate character Captain Feathersword gets a holiday lesson concerning pigging out in “It’s a Christmas Party on the Good Ship Feathersword.” He’s a friendly pirate, ‘cuz he refers to all you out there as ‘me hearties.’ Aww.

Captain Fear Facer won’t face joy in the Sing-Along with two sides: “Pirates Don’t Celebrate Christmas.” To be honest, it’s Oliver the crocodile who eschews, Capt. FF persuades him otherwise in this too-cool-for-school earthy pop song.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-The Queen Annes’s Revenge

The Radish Friends shout in the basement for the serious swerve on ‘Three Ships’ filled with buccaneer jargon in “I Saw Three (Pirate) Ships.” At least they‘re having fun.

I Saw Three Pirate Ships” by BellaZen Electric is a sweet mashup of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and that old carol. It’s instrumental, but masterful. And i loves that Hans Zimmer power.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-& a Bottle of Rum

Pirates drink grog, right?

We’re glanced at Jimmy Buffett’s “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum” before. Overorchestrated pop that wants to be smooth calypso when it grows up, it’s a Santa escape tale. (As well as the superior–in humor and talent–punk take by The Cucumbers. Santa be nasty here.)

Less piratey is Taco and De Mofos dealing with fam and other relationships in the bouncy house of rap from “Ho, Ho, Ho & a Bottle of Rum.” See, he’s gonna have his fun… drinking all the pain away… like a thief on the open seas. (?)

Cobbled together out of Treasure Island and sung by Craig Toungate, “Yo, Ho, Ho, and a Bottle of Rum!!” is a fine shanty of offensively inoffensive pop Celtic music. It is not quite holiday-centric, but fun. The Roger Wagner Chorale makes a meal of it. Had to lean into pirates celebrating, darkly as they do.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Tom Mason album

Tom Mason and the Blue Buccaneers take a less novel approach to their album A Pirate’s Christmas. It sails fair waters of standards with aught but the occasional sitar, shanty, or argh. Some fine fiddlin’, but that cut no mustard with our blog. Still, for your consideration….

It’s Christmas Day” is a dandy number, a rollicking Celtic how-to celebrate and decorate. Just happens to be on a ship. No fuss ’bout that at all. ‘Ceptin’ for that insistent trombone.

Yo Ho Ho (Pirate’s Christmas)” is the gem at the top of the treasures. A shanty of Santa vs. the pirates re-teaches us that Mr. Christmas is not tone trifled with. It’s a party song that tells a tale. A lessons those what need be.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Savvy?

I may have mentioned Pirate Stu more than a handful of years ago, and his ‘Jingle Bells’ parody may not merit more mention, but “Jingle Piratopus” IS about a pirate octopus. Not something you hear every day.

Michael Scott Dublin (feat. Robert O’Connor & Mark O’Shaughnessy) bring Santa and a pirate together for a lively pop address: “Yo Ho Ho! And A Merry Christmas.” They have more in common than you’d think.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Avast Ye

Hello Wonder indies “Dear Santa (A Pirate’s Request)” from the daughter of a pirate to the only one she knows who can make her dad nice, not naughty. Too cute for words!

Captain Dan & The Scurvy Crew ask Santa directly for cannons and whatnot in “A Pirate Christmas” all the while planning on ambushing, robbing, and slaughtering the jolly old elf. These pirates bite off more brass monkey than they can chew. Kiddie rap.