Wrap the Rainbow: white

The eight hundred pound gorilla in the room is Bing Crosby’s soundtrack cut from 1942–the biggest selling most recorded Christmas song of all time. No room for that here (although I like the hard to find Irish jig version with cabaret storytelling popularized by Daniel O’Donnell):


No reggae, punk, a cappella, pornographic, chanukah parody, or gospel interpretations–no. Something else in white, please.

We just visited Australia last month with “Six White Boomers” about freaky kangaroos leading Santa’s sleigh. Here’s a hair-metal rock version from The Fleshtones.

And I might mention Little Joey Farr’s sensational rockabilly sound a la 1961 “Big White Cadillac,” but i think i need a whole automotive section for Xmas tunes coming up soon.

And now for something completely differently white: Lorena & the Raving Reindeers attempt to make you think of Christmas with a hooting saxophone drowning out the lyrics to “(I Need a Prince on a) White Reindeer.” This is an alt rock dance/fantasy number that doesn’t really know what to make of itself.

You want a pretty Christmas song about Whiteness? Try Tim Minchin’s rambling, stream-of-consciousness piano poetry “White Wine in the Sun.” It seems a personal examination of the That time of year with insight and imagery. It’s a show stopper. Bravo.

Feeling down then? As bad off as Gilbert O’Sullivan? No? Here, then: his “I’m Not Dreaming of a White Christmas.” A remedy to tenderness is the dismissal of personal wishes and the futile, monotone hope for the entire world to just not be a dick.

Of course of course of course, i have to include Dick Shawn’s “Snow Miser” number from the Rankin Bass A Year Without Santa Claus. Toe tappin’, finger snappin’, show rappin’–it’s happenin’! Let it happen to you! He’s Mr. WHITE Christmas. Like a character from Reservoir Dogs.