Wrap the Rainbow: green

Most famously, Stan Freberg does a crit of crass commercialism with “Green Chri$tma$” (green for money, not trees, you see) and i don’t feel the need to repeat something so well known here.

“Green” can mean pot–marijuana, did you know? Taurean J hyperventilates their rap with “Green Xmas.” BLUE ALERT for those who listen to lyrics.

Also lefty leaning are the Elf Cottage Elves, caroling about global warming dangers and what you should be doing with their “Green Christmas.

Anthony McKeon goes radical in Sydney with his “Christmas Song.” It seems to be about going green (the red coke sign behind him is made that other color), but it’s all done through a megaphone. I feel him; i can’t hear him.

Hoping for a Christmas hit, Joe Hammel mines new material: “The Aluminum Christmas Tree” wishes it were green. But then it finds out… that Joe Hammel can’t really sing.

Humor break! mc lars babbles about “Gary the Green-Nosed Reindeer,” a half-brother of Rudolph who is forgotten ‘like President Taft.’ Fortunately Gary does not have a sinus problem, only an overwhelming need to live up to his sibling’s rep. He does. World saved. He has a further screed about the rising temps and CO2 levels with “I’m Dreaming of a Green Christmas.” Meh. A cow?

Better humor!? Awesome Xmas parody band The ’60s Invasion takes on the Lemon Pipers’ 1967 ‘Green Tambourine’ with their “Green Christmas Tree.” My brand of hilarity with ornaments.

If you want the rockabilly sound that only means music, bend an ear to the Unkool Hillbillies, Swedes who make you going to sock the hop, and “Green Christmas.” I think they want you to dance dance dance and not be the color blue. Not sure what else.

Also figuratively unspecific is Martin Novales, whose sweet pop “Green Christmas” seems to include trees and mistletoe and avoid the white. Is it rehab, maybe?

Joining the sentiment, calypso in hand, The Great John L. warbles about his “Green Christmas” from the Virgin Islands. No white! Santa got water in his eye!

“Green Christmas” has in fact come to mean a raging lack of traditional features, like snow. Which can result in some Scrooge-like symptoms, or at least the lack of treasuring close, crowded, family-filled places as outlined by Barenaked Ladies in their mall-muzak friendly pop version, and also as delineated by George S. Irving playing the cult favorite Mr. Heat Miser in ‘A Year Without Santa Claus,’ the 1974 Rankin Bass animated TV special (which had a 2008 sequel featuring Heat Miser and Snow Miser [Dick Shawn]). This fabulous Broadway actor (and voice actor: narrator in Underdog cartoons) owned the often imitated song occasionally known as “Green Christmas.”