Yuletide: Red Skies at Night

Why not just sail away and leave all those troubles (surely not Xmas induced) away.

David Ker is truly troubadour in “My Little Jingle.” He’s alone, but in his (metaphorical?) boat he encounters whales and sea horses… but not you. Adorable indie.

Similarly Plunkett’s friends have left: This year everything is on sale, And all my friends have set sail To do much better things. so goes the most indie of alts “Sad Christmas.” By–ee!

So we begin to see boats are more than literal. Engelbert Humperdinck rides his mid-century modern styles with “A Night to Remember.” It’s all sugary mush: Dreamers who travel the skies As we sail on the glow Of a fire burning glow.

Yuletide: Above Board

Old salts know how to make the best of a bad thing.

Robert Palomo tries the parody tack with “Sailor Christmas Carols.” Hard workin’ men havin’ a larf.

The Green Monkey Christmas Chorale (feat. Gary Minkler) get into character with “Xmas Time for Sailors.”

“A Yuletide Sea Shanty” is a fun curiosity from Steve Parsons. Sung here by the Excelsia Singers this operatic tale of tempest tossed sailors visited by Santa & The Reindeer becomes comic, in a good way.

Yuletide: Poopdeck

Old timey sailors had it even harder. For Christmas.

1980s pop (with a gospel influence) may not be ancient, but Goombay Dance Band’s “Christmas at Sea” is about a simpler time. The tragedy is not being with family. That’s pretty much it. But you can dance to it.

Meg Davis runs over octaves with her classic operetta offering “Christmas at Sea.” It hurts to hear about it.

Old fashioned folk/country from Lloyd Snow brings in a Celtic influence. “Christmas at Sea” is frothy and light, but that’s only the foam floating on top. Its depths’ll kill.

Yuletide: Keelhauled

How bad does it get for sailors at sea? No turndown service?!

Loneliness may be balanced with banquets in “A Maritime Christmas.” But Lee Murdock returns to slowly, sadly reveal at sea it be Christmas in song only. Shanty.

The worst of Sara Noelle’s “Christmas at Sea“‘s experience is not having Christmas at land. Autotuned ethereality about, i suppose, heartbreak.

Gabriel Minnikin balladeers the worst of weather in his banjo-driven indie-gospel “Christmas at Sea.” Hold fast!

Out of mothballs Scythian brings us “The Wellerman Christmas” which is just the old sing-along Wellerman about the whale that won’t let go, but with an appeal to Christ born near the end. I mean, that ship is being dragged ’round the world to no end. Fun stuff.

Frozen tea, lashings, pouring rain… “It’s Hard to be a Shantyman (On Christmas),” at least according to The Longest Johns (again). Advice: Grin and find some yuletide cheer— Brave, me buckos. Keep it shanty!

Yuletide: Warship

Mostly sailors an conscripted onto their floating death traps. Few do it as a lark, a look-see ’round the world. Doesn’t mean they can’t have a good time, but no one cares that they do.

Classic The Who explore the Cold War tensions with “Rael Pt.1 and Pt. 2.” In this rock opera, China threatens Israel with naval might. Now Captain, listen to my instructions: Return to this spot on Christmas Day, Look toward the shore for my signal. Will it be war? Townsend never finished this….

In Doug Stone’s hokey country “Sailing Home for Christmas” the troops are headed to a foreign shore. They’ll be home ONLY in their dreams. Psych! (Which war? You decide!)

Little Red Ambulance’s “Sailing Home for Christmas” rocks pop in a responsible way. Besides which the sailors have been gone for seven months and are honestly homeward bound in time for the holidays. Celebratory.

Yuletide: Hardship

Life at sea is not easy. There’s wet shoes, nausea, and death.

Dumpster Company worries about the dark, buoyancy, and cold when it’s “Christmas on a Boat.” This ’60s jazz band easy listening is a hoot and then some. Poor guys.

And then there’s seasickness: North Pole Fisherman’s Association treads water with “Check Below the Deck for Rollie.” To the tune of ‘Deck the Halls.’ Barf. (If you’re biting the whole parody album is available: A Fisherman’s Christmas Carols. It fills a niche.

Sting tackles classic poetry with “Christmas at Sea,” a regretful adventure into cold and covetousness. But the Celtic singers add an ethereal weirdness.

This same Robert Louis Stevenson poem, “Christmas at Sea,” receives a good turn from Neil Adam & Judy Turner. Sad strings, brave vocals, classically influence folk… this tough time is an enjoyable song. [For comparison, Rob Winder recites this bit with tragic musicality.]

Combining both of those approaches, The Longest Johns a cappella their “Christmas at Sea” like an oral tradition you’d best heed. Lessons here.

Yuletide: Grog

Sailors work hard for their pay, and a ration of rum. Do they overindulge given the chance?

“Christmas Card from a Drunken Sailor” is a gentle, almost soothing ballad from Rob Snarski. No F-bombs. Just regret.

“What Shall We Do with a Drunken Sailor Early Christmas Morning?” asks the Windy City Gay Chorus. Frivolity ensues. And side-taking.

Not to be out-twisted, Alexander P. treats us to “What Shall We Do with a Drunken Santa?” The steps differ, and the tempo runs crazy. [Less imaginative, but Bee-you-ti-fully sung comes the Tawny Shantymen version.] [Amped up comes The Georgia Tech Glee Club with a rapid retelling.]

Yuletide: Land Ho

Let’s bring ’round the professionals: sailors. For Christmas.

Skinny Lister has a hornpipe of no little merit hailing the setting of sail, and also of the return: Home again for Christmas “If the Gaff Don’t Let Us Down.” So big party when not drowned. It’s dance-inducing.

Homeward bound for the holidays, still the sailor spends Christmas in a harbor on the boat. Jeff Brown’s “Sailor’s Christmas” is nearly romantic, but the harsh harmonica in this breezy folk rock recalls us the hard times. (Yeah it’s Jimmy Buffett‘s song. So what.)

also on the way to land comes the indie/easy listening pop of “Sailor It’s Christmas Again” as posted by vandmalonogskid. Tubular bells, matey.

The Out of Tuna’s count time to “A Shanty’s Christmas.” It’s full of hope and is softly melodic for all its sailor-tom.

Yuletide: Castaway

If you have boat trouble, you might end up like Crusoe. Will that interrupt your Xmas plans?

Darlene Como’s drug-punk (either you need to be on drugs to ‘get it’–or it’s simply a drug induced rant) deals with a shipwreck scenario somewhere in “Seaweed Soup.” Xmassy? Dunno!

In “Santa’s Tropic Island Hideaway” Lipbone Redding tells us Santa is Swinging in a hammock just a Christmas castaway, so yeah your presents might be late. Growly blues pop.

In Dead Hot Workshop’s “Jesus Revisited,” however, the reason for the season would–today–be Sympathetic to the castaways on Gilligan’s Isle. So, blessings and grace at least. Impetuous alt-rock.

Suits is lonely and cold and wants to know “Do You Miss Me, Christmas?“ It won’t matter the words I say, So I’ll just be a castaway. So, doesn’t matter…? Bluesy pop.


Yuletide: Davy Jones’s Locker

Boats do many things well. Resting at the bottom of the sea it one. For Christmas.

Princess Ariel from Disney uses shanty-lite for “Christmas in the Ocean.” Buried treasure does make a good gift.

SpongeBob SquarePants uses doo wop to illustrate his “Wet Wet Christmas.” Splash squish. Better music!

Glad Host’s The Aquanauts do an experimental deep dive with “Christmas Underwater.” Dark and disturbing (throwing horses overboard!)!

“Sunken Letter” by The Christmas Band is a tragic turn of the mundanity of a sailor’s voyage made cruelly ironic by our knowledge of the title. Soft folk twists the knife.

Derivative (homage to ‘Octopus’), yet delightful, “Christmas Under the Sea” by Colin & AJ rocks and kidsong rolls with some alt-oddness. Fun (except for Lydia).