TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Coloring Outside the Pines

Anyone can string the bulbs ’round the needles. It takes an outlier to really decorate with chromatic panache. Light ‘er up, Jetson!

Putting incandescence on the holiday plumage may take on other meanings. “Lit up Like a Christmas Tree” from Flaming Stars isn’t about drinking, but about drinking you in with my eyes, love.

When The Smoking Trees invite you to melt your mind, it’s with tambourines and filters and sound effects from town and distortion. “The Psychedelic Lights of Christmas” result. Ingest responsibly.

Other moods include BLUE. “Blue Light Christmas Tree” isn’t about the decorations after all. Jim Rorie gets bluesy about her leaving him. The tree just is there, brightly mocking him.

And what if they’re dark… or “Blinking Lights“? Brian Kinder goes music hall funny with this.

On the other branch, you can overload that unsuspecting pine into a “Fifty Kilowatt Tree” as Caribbean a cappella-ed by The Bobs. Blew the ‘burbs out. Purdue Musical Organization performs:

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Lights, Carolers, Ascension!

Don’t just let that tree set there… decorate!

Warbling like his string needs a fuse checked Randy Bryant & The Rockets jazz down “Christmas Tree Lights (Sparkle So Bright)” to no one in particular (well, some loved one).

Ruby Wright gets gospel on it (with so many children) (in 1957) with “Let’s Light the Christmas Tree.” Each twinkle gets her closer to Thee.

Winterval go deeper with “Hang the Lights on the Tree.” Alt rock navel gazing of the slow-dance persuasion.

Love me some Sufjan Stevens. When he begins his holiday chore list with “Put the Lights on the Tree,” he’s only getting started. Get your pencil ready–

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Spruce Up the Doug Fir

Tinsel! Bulbs! Balls! ‘Corn! Go! GO!!

Kidsong from Phil and the Osophers in the drummer boy driven “Decorate the Christmas Tree.” Special attention to each ornament makes Mommy and Daddy happy.

Can Plank Road help? “Decorate the Tree” is funny jazz noodling for the undeveloped chorale.

Maybe we better get EVERYONE. Three Day threshold & Summer Villains pull a sprightly jug band approach to “Decorate the Christmas Tree.”

Also asking for help, Alan Banana sets the alarm to decorate the “Christmas Tree.” Jouncy jazzy kid fun.

Need a break? Here’s the family made musical play ‘The Christmas Stranger’ song “Decorate the Tree” with all the children, talented or otherwise impressed into the stormy show tune.

For Nichol & Wilde, to “Hang a Decoration on the Christmas Tree” is to have a party. This ’50s girl rock inspired electronica is only a party in low gear. No one’s branch-diving here.

Throwback Day! As previously hailed, awesome Xmas parody band The ’60s Invasion takes on the Lemon Pipers’ 1967 ‘Green Tambourine’ with their “Green Christmas Tree.” My brand of hilarity with ornaments.

Kenny and Dave as The Carol Kings apply surf music to “Decoratin’ Our Tree.” No wacky wipeout jokes, no crashing wave sounds–just Christmas business. Wild.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: String Trimmer

You’ve got the tree–now what?

The Tavson Brothers take a minute to take it all in–what a country/western responsibility! “Let’s Set Up the Christmas Tree” is a sentimental journey for empty nesters, even with some missteps. Don’t pay these assemblers by the hour.

Dougie Bear folks the zydeco with “My Christmas Tree.” He just wants to put it up for everyone to see.

And trimming… is that cutting off or adding to?

“Let’s Trim the Christmas Tree” is an insistent dance-jazz number from Jim Hudak. He’s had a lot of coffee and wants it done soon.

OF COURSE we need to add some pazookas and muzzle fuzz: “Trim up the Tree” gets the honorary mention from the ‘Grinch’ cartoon of 1966.

Jack Haskell fronts the Les Brown Band out of 1946 for “When You Trim Your Christmas Tree.” Square, but classy.

The whole process from star to song takes place in “Christmas Tree” by the tick-tock folk of Reid & Jamie. Inspiring.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Noble Spirit

Let’s not leaf off the religion. We sing about trees because we need to get us closer to God.

Bing Crosby leads the congregation with “O Fir Tree Dark.” It’s a symphonic sermon to put us on the straight and sylvan. Not so much about Christmas, though. Double your Bing, double your troubadoring: “Is Christmas Only a Tree?” searches through the trees for more Xmas meaning. (I’m gonna say Mr. Crosby’s a hater of trees.)

“There’s a Christmas Tree in Heaven” may have been a minor hit for The Four Aces, mixing prayer with doowop. It may have originated with Eddy Howard and His Orchestra–they wah-wah out a nice little mixed beat to their big band rhythms. But they both came out the same year. Johnny Collins & The Caravans countrify the rock (with mocking horn–!?) to appeal to the youngset, but this time it’s a real country howler about Mommy and Daddy up there.

When Jane Irene Farley asks us “Let’s Dance Around the Christmas Tree” she is, in a stentorian (and off key) fashion, instructing us in all the Biblical connections. It’s a spelling lesson full of pop timpani, and whiff of Island sauciness.

Shortly and sweetly Al Jarreau sings a rond “By My Christmas Tree” which puts me a spiritual way, more than reminds me directly about only God can make a tree.

Marvelous Marvah asks for a whole Nativity scene and a “Golden Christmas Tree” to help with this holiest of nights. Parang time!

Rollicking disco electric blues from Inquisitor Betrayer claims that “The Christmas Tree Blues” are about the confusion between the secular spruce and the reason for the ball-hanging.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Cross Cutting

Tree is symbol. What else around Xmas is symbol?

Jimmy Dooley spells it out with electric gospel in “The Cross is My Christmas Tree.” Spoiler alert, dude! This is only his day of birth!

Now with more soul, Byron Hill croons “The Cross is My Christmas Tree.” Different song, same guiltifying.

“God’s First Christmas Tree” from Primitive Quartet also nails a lamb up there for decoration is harmony. Guys!! The season!!

The Greenes drape “The First Christmas Tree” with blood as well. Beautiful singing, fellas.

Barbara Mandrell sings “He Grew the Trees” meaning god provided the means to his own demise. So, not so much with Christmas, but more explanation for those who haven’t been following.

Dennis Jernigan’s “The Very First Christmas Tree” more gently hoists up man-as-God onto the branches for your celebration. Tinkly piano show tune.

TreeMendous Holiday fun: Cedar People Praying

It’s not just the lordling’s sapling, it’s a pipeline to his house. Pray to the Christmas pine and you’ll be herd.

Annie Sunde (feat. Paulita Todhunter) delivers unto us a “Prayer by the Christmas Tree.” That firry pulpit provides for some fine gospel octave soaring.

Anna Marie Burden exhalts with each ornament on “Our Special Christmas Tree” for the love of God. That’s some serious decoration, with some slight country skill.

“Christmas Tree Shine” by John Tracy salutes the evergreen as a symbol of the everlasting love, or peace, or power, or what have you from God. Tender folk expression.

“Gather Around the Christmas Tree” from the cast of yet another ‘Christmas Carol’ musical is yet another Olde excuse to pray to JC directly. Fine chorale. Better than The Caroleers. More serious than Kidzone. Better harmony than the Robert DeCormier Singers and Ensemble. More Christmassy pacing than The Ambrosian Singers.

Namedropping a little bit of messiah, Matthew Brandon Carlson expresses love for “Christmas Tree Lane (Let It Rain).” It’s a story of pop song romance while shopping, but–you know–and God too.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Bough to the Lord

We don’t put a cradle in the room to celebrate the birth of the Lord, so that tree ought to have super associative properties.

Coyly avoiding the name, Sheree Brown and Ledon Smith sing about LOVE, which is “The Christmas Tree I See.” Motown adds legitimacy.

Barbara Fairchild comes right out and says the “Christmas Tree” is just like Jesus Christ. Her wavering ballad with smudges of country gospel make it so. (Roy Morris narrates some sermon to keep you on track.)

Sounding like a ’70s TV commercial Danadrienne folk lecture us to remember the “Forgotten Christmas Tree.” Remember? Christ?

For puppet show ‘Arnie’s Shack’ the star on the “Christmas Tree” is the star of Bethlehem. Electric pop–for kids!

Michael Warner strums some south of the border pop to also string together ornamentation and that Heaven stuff with “A Star on Top of the Christmas Tree.” This’ll get the kids believing in no time.

In fact the Nativity had “No Christmas Tree” at all, so cut that pagan stuff out–according to this marching country sermon from Mary Lee.

Sherri Gough crosses the line from rejoicing in the birth to putting that “Christmas Tree on a Hill.” It’s a pretty country piece though, so let’s listen. (And those other grisly tree as cross numbers come later on.)

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Sequoia Claus

Tree up? How else will Santa know where to direct the presents? Xmas tree marks the spot, little dudes!

This is such an essential concept it’s in every language! Well, at least two. Humberto Almaraz (with the kids) bi-lings the corrido “Santa will Love My Christmas Tree.” I guess that’s happy?

Gentle jazz-grass from Rough Shop catches “The Big Man Under the Tree” in the act. But–is that Santa? You might wanna get some ID, kid.

The Oak Ridge Boys sing about the boy waiting “Beneath the Christmas Tree” for Santa. But, in their own country/western way, it’s really Jesus. Sorry for the spoiler.

Keith Whittal and Friends also aim our attention “All Around the Christmas Tree” to spot the toy bringer. Stay awake, kids! Country pickin’.

Riddim from Kool: “My Christmas Tree” is to Santa like ganja to a Bob Marley fan. Dance off!

Just for chuckles Calvin Bremer parodies ‘The Hanging Tree’ from the Mockingjay movies with “The Christmas Tree“… waiting… waiting… waiting for Santa. Ha!

1959: Marguerite Trina shakes it down with the bluesy R+B rock of “The Rocking Tree,” beseeching that fat man for just the right greenery, daddi-o.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Softwood Claus

Some musical acts shortchange an audience with simplistic imagery, cliche, and mind-numbing repetition.

Some are just bad.

While on the topic of Santa and trees, a few horrible songs stood out and i thought i’d share them with you.

You don’t have to get me anything.

Half baked and over-miked, Glenn Diamond waits by Christmas Tree, “My Christmas Tree” for Santa to bring something… in my memory. It was all a plodding country dream!

Garnet brings the holiday mood down a notch with the somnolent “Santa’s Christmas Tree.” I wanna say the guy has trouble with English, but–it’s just awful.

Also so off key you can’t listen away, Jean Humanic asks “Santa Sit Beneath My Christmas Tree.” No, it’s not even suggestive it’s so off-putting. Machine beat with a pretty good guitar solo.

Katiah is a bit hyper about her “Christmas Tree” (or, rather, ‘Kwismuss Twee’), but she does know, in kidsong fashion, that tree up = Santa come. The condescension to young people makes me wonder what her o-face really looks like.

Breathy, hesitant rapping (w/o beatbox) “Wrapping up Present By The Christmas Tree” by Aquayemi-Claude Garnett Two Thousand Akinsanya astounds and confuses us with her patient routine around the tree.

Scandihoovian G-MAN hoots it up with “Santa Christmas Tree,” the disco quest of a man for a fir. More might be lost in translation, but maybe you’ll get something out of it. I can’t.