“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” hit #1 on the Billboard singles chart when 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd first released it in 1952. It’s been a staple since. Barely novel at this point. And yet, some of the reactions since–
Kip Addotta turned the idea on its head with “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” in 1984. Stand Still here covers that for us. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Again! The Yule Logs reorchestrate the idea with “[I Saw Mommy Kiss Santa] Last Night.” Psychological repercussions are explored to a slack key guitar countrification.
Balderdash & Humbug reposition the events for a he said/she said of “My Kid Saw Me Kissing Santa Claus.” Conclusions are jumped to in this spoken piece.
Cecily Strong gets more into the trauma for an SNL sketch that brings in Dad and a big, weird payoff.
Certainly, for novelty purposes, Homer & Jethro, and Tiny Tim deliver with bizarre sounds. But let’s leave this elevator music with a tip of the Captain’s chair to William Shatner and his little kid who’s not getting mad–he’s getting even.
Funk me, DJ Tenderloin mashes up soul, Queen, Ed Grimley, and plenty others with “About Damn Christmas Time.” Disco adjacent.
Best Damn Roofer offers the “Best Damn Christmas” album with all the standards sung with the word roof substituted for all the nouns. Watch out for the BLUE ALERT drug spiral. I dare you to last all ten minutes.
Seiza (feat. Biggie Smalls) has had enough of quality Christmas songs, and talent for that matter. “About Damn Time for an Actually Good Christmas Song” delivers on ‘Good,’ provided ‘Good’ is weak ass bad. BLUE ALERT
Helen McCookerybook la-la-la-las a dialogue between the devil and Santa. “The Devil’s Christmas Stocking” is kidsong/folk about hope but stops half-way through. Maybe next year.
Justin Brown Durand rattles off some weird childish poetry to electronica about “Christmas in the Devil’s Desert.” Like with Dante, that’s a cold place. Don’t try this at home.
“Two Little Devils” refers to naughty ones at Christmas. King Truelove and the Relics import just enough rockabilly to make me believe.
MX-80 spent “Christmas with the Devil” and they have a few revelations to share with you about that. Spoken rhymes over experimental music. Wild stuff.
Thinking bigfoot and yeti are the same is like comparing a native of Atlanta with one of Tbilisi (both from Georgia, get it?)–ridiculous! So let’s party with our Himalayan friends. {A previous week of Abominable Snowman songs has already come and gone on the blog. So let’s get new ones.}
Scary red eyes and whatnot from Lightning Inside You recounts the coming of age every boy must face: cutting down a tree in the wintry woods while dodging “The Christmas Yeti.” It was a near thing. Folk horror.
Michael Scott Dublin (feat. George McMahon & Claire Ivory) wonders what you should do “If You Met a Yeti.” Lots of good alt-pop tips. (Hint: no racing!)
Bear Ron struggles with rhymes when he considers “Christmas With a Yeti.” Improvvie blues.
“Teddy and Betty Yeti” try being good to get presents, but as The Superions sorta sing they don’t know from human. This EDM spoken word confrontation with Santa gets grisly as they eat the North Pole-ians. Ew.
More Christmas commuting! Street car rattles down ole Saint Charles in the colorful blues of Steve Cavalier’s “Merry Christmas New Orleans.” Cut offs and hanging moss and beignets fill in the corners. Pretty chill for the tropics.
Frothy pop from Bedbound by Summer reveals a deep seated love/dread about returning home for the religious revival. Are they “Depressed This Christmas“? Try this refrain: I hate love; I hate you; I hate me.
I won’t be home for Christmas Darling, not this year; The trains have all stopped in their tracks begins the sad bubbly pop of “Star Crossed Christmas” by Barnaby Bright.
The Brits know about train travel. OneNamedPeter tinges his pop with a whiff of punk in “Christmas is Cancelled.” Why so down? Now my train is moving so slow, By the time I get home my Amazon parcels Have been sent back to the depot. But there is hope in there… somewhere.
Spoken word poetry from Croydon Tourist Office skewers the bourgeoisie in “Christmas in the Suburbs.” Traditions are trash. Ceremony is senseless. Hope is less. The Salvation Army’s music stands Getting blown over By the updraft of a passing train. (But check out the Brit pronunciation of urinals!) Just my cup of soap box oration.
Guess we’ve run pretty low on actual Christmas songs about surfing. So let’s get a bit crazy here.
“Santa and the Sidewalk Surfer” [previously posted] may be the only tune I can find about skateboards and the holidays. Re-enjoy The Crossfires/The Turtles spoken word rock-out.
Aaron Walter has a high-concept vanity album about the hell of working holiday shifts at Circuit City (name bleeped during this production). That’s not all; it also includes the spoken word voice modulated satire on commercials. It’s “Channel Surfin’.”
-10˚> Christmas with you Is all I ever wanna do; Wanna do those winter things, chirps Emily Malmgren in “The Star on Top of the Tree.” Alt pop about just stuff.
-10˚> Meet the Seavers lounge up their indifference even if “It’s Always Christmas Time.” Excellent jazz harmonica.
-15˚> “I Hate Christmas” from the cast of ‘Naughty… But Nice’ is a pop showtune that testifies loudly.
-30˚> Willie Sterba plays a tree who would like to be INSIDE in “A House That Smelled Like Cookies.” Kid folk song. But… the tree talks! (And wears a coat!)
-30˚> Gord Bamford’s “Storybook Christmas” is hard fiddlin’ country with hard characters kickin’ up their boots.
-40˚> Robbie Williams has a showtune orchestration to his kidsong “Rudolph.” Magical.
Going out with a random enumeration, “A Star in Langley” by Loden Taylor is, perhaps, THE codes. But, it’s too late. Good night.
Well, friends, it’s been nearly a year and a half of this countdown nonsense. I’ve learned nothing, and am not sure i know how to do a monthly theme for novelty Christmas music any more. But, man have i fallen into some crazy tunes. Lots of crap i prolly shoulda spared you from, but a few of these songs make it worth it to me. Happy holy merry fuzzy, y’all.
All Brandt Paul Brandt paints a pedestrian picture [On the marquee sign at 5 and 9 The latest movie shows] the night “A Star is Born.” Fine fiddling in this country run-of-the-mill muddle.
Thomas Itty wishes us “Happy Holidays” for Christmas, Hanukkah [nine candles all told], Diwali, Kwanzaa, and even Festivus. It’s happy folk rock, so i’m good. In fact, excellent guitar work. Bravo.
“Christmas in the Tropics” seems blissful, but it can mess up your Santa-sense. Skye tells us with ukulele pop: I never seem to notice That fall passes by–Garlands and inflatables–Before November nine! She’ll figure it out.
See, from Canada you gots ta plan your travel: getting on those Dash 8s and DC 9s to be home for the holidays. Yeah, “They’ll Be on the Rock This Christmas” (Newfoundland, eh?)–but David Kai is staying in the factory and working overtime. So this is his sad pop song.
Gimson & dadbOdd have a message for you about your hypocrisy, ostentation, and condescension: they “Don’t Need That for Christmas.” Bopping BLUE ALERT rap that sees we’re Full of 9th step amends that I like to pretend we’re getting gifted. Judged!
Lauren Mayer’s “Nine Words” for a Jew to remember around Christmas are: They tried to kill us we survived, let’s eat! Revival music!
Celebrating the Something Awful production of their ninth compilation of truly strange Christmas songs, BSam intones Ho Ho Ho “It’s Christmas No. 9” for over ten minutes. (Expect psychedelic interruptions a la The Beatles.) You’re welcome.
How does a 9mm pistol get mixed up with the holidays? Welcome to the U S of A!
With ‘All I Want’ haunting us in the background, Kazekage borders on BLUE with the rap “Let It Snow.” This is Santakage with the nine, so pimpin’ and packin’.
Insane Clown Posse MANDATORY BLUE ALERT is mad at The Big Guy when they get nothing for Christmas. When they see him Leadin’ the parade I’m that sniper on the buildin’ Listen to my nine go click in “Santa’s a Fat Bitch.”
Nerfonator is in dire straits, unable to buy the daughter presents for Xmas. So, via rap, homicidal armed robbery ensues. But, caught and cornered: I just pick up the .9 Loading the clip one last time Point it to my mind with pride and–happy holiday endings! “Frostbite” is not everyone’s Xmas special. Leave it there.
“Sheriff Naomi vs El Bandito” (by the band ???) is a spoken word ode to a Wild West showdown (with wild recorder backdrop). On Christmas Day the bad guy threatens, Naomi, I gotta shoot you nine times. It doesn’t go as he’d hoped. (Cute as a school play, and i’m sorry i missed this for my 1883 entry.)
