ad silentnitum, continuous

This concept of joyous noel emptied of meaning in a cold, lonely house just won’t quit. It goes on and on. So does the music.

Preempting the problem, The Ready Set pop the seltzer out of “I Don’t Wanna Spend Another Christmas Without You.” Childish, but het up.

En español, Loona wills her sorrow over the annoying galloping of synthetic strings in “Another Christmas Without You.” My head AND my heart now hurt!

In cockney, Prozzak smirks that “It’s Just Another Christmas Without You.” Spoken pop, but with Anglo-charm.

Nsync snaps and pops (like bubblegum) throughout the smarmy pop of “I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You.” Next!

Orianthi & Cyril Niccolai moan over “Another Christmas Without You.” Glorious harmony here makes the pathos worse. Pop music ow!

Bobby Helms oldschools the countrywestern genre with “Another Christmas Without You.” How can we face it??? Mother, make it stop!

The Epileptic Hillbillys rockabilly “Another Christmas Without You” with Western insistence. I do believe ’em, i do, i do!

Mall World: complaints

Kids may not appreciate the whole sit and wish mall Santa scene. How far do they push?

Krismas Kookies barbershop quartet the list of travails with their “Shopping Mall Santa.” It’s like being fired for malfeasance in a monotone.

The mall under construction is but the first of the troubles for “Steamrolled Mall Santa” by Birthing Stirrups. Punk observations of an absurd corporate season-scape.

Howard Morris returns to his “Department Store Santa (After Xmas).” The same tune, the same tadpoles, but some bitter vinegar for the part-time employee (is he being accused of sex-trafficking?!). Rockabilly country.

Mall World: uninnocent

One of the biggest problems for the mall Santa is keeping up with those crazy kids. The pre-teens wanna be smokin’ and drinkin’, the single digits wanna be too cool for yule, and the toddlers wanna be Kim Jong-Un. Where’s the youthful purity?

Sean Madigan’s “Mall Santa” has gun-toting, broken-family psychos to whisper in his ear with this easy-going rock bopper.

Howard Morris’s “Department Store Santa (Before Xmas)” has to grow up fast in this rockabilly spoken-word comedy 1960 classic.

Look at Lights

Decorating with lights can be as much fun as cleaning the house, but when it’s time to bask in Christmas wonderment near the top of the list of fun is wandering about to look at all the pretty twinklies. Even not on drugs.

(However, if you are so bent, perhaps The Smoking Trees’ “The Psychedelic Lights of Christmas” might be up your mainline. Whoa.)

The Symmetrics punch the pop (seriously, the plosives are seismic) with “Light It Up.” It’s that moment when the whole thing is turned on. (Mistletoe included, wink.)

Kidsongs ruin the imagination when they rely on familiar tunes (is it a parody? are there so few melodies? built-in sway-alongs?), but “Little Light” by Bobs & Lolo might reach above that low bar using ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ as a stepping stone. ‘Sup to you.

K C Kookaburra (The Swinging Kookaburra) admits that driving around or walking around “Look at Christmas Lights” is a happy time. Australian pop.

Brad Dison is just driving around looking at “Christmas Lights.” This dad band rockabilly nails our sentiment, coolly joyful.

Born this Day, twenty-six (Lamb, Lion, Lord)

Dance off! Beedays are excellent excuses to party hearty. How could you not–for Jesus.

Christmas Party!” is just what i’m talkin’ ’bout. Orange Kids’ Music rock the Christian message with repetitive empty words (make the loudest noise you’ve ever made). But the X-kids have a raucous anthem, at least.

2014’s Evil Wiener’s Christmas Album drops a number to trip the light fantastico with “All Around the World (Happy Birthday Jesus)” in which a certain godhead gets a special shout out from Santa Claus flying by. ‘Billy pop.

Merry Criminals! lawyers

You have a right to representation against Santa, or anyone else.

Lawrence Savell fronts The Law Tunes to wonderfully amusing effect over several holiday albums. Here’s a commercial sampling from Season’s Briefings. Pick it up for your legal eagle holiday needs for next year.

Also Hutson & Harris parody carols as free wisdom for potential clients to comic effect with videos like “Texas Lawyers Singing Some Holiday Advice.”

It’s beyond HR when Santa bumps the wrong way at the Christmas party. “Vixen’s Talking to a Lawyer” is rockabilly-lite with country charm from J.P. Davis.

Merry Criminals! court BLUE ALERT

Christmas Day may be a time of peace, but not peace officers so much.

While “The Court’s Closed on Christmas” has more to do with The Eradicator’s need to play squash, i like how the obscenity makes it blur into a more urgent urban need for justice. At Xmas.

Sky Saxon does not want to spend “Christmas in the Courtroom.” Bluesy mushmouthed ‘billy brings conscience to the fore, just like it should.

Xmas Tech Support: phonograph

Still not to the 20th C with the advent of the gramophone and the oppo to hear full orchestration in the parlour at home whenever you feel like it.

The 1920s made the recorded platters more available with all that easy money of the Jazz Age. 1922 drops Edward Hare with “Santa Claus Hides in the Phonograph” a speech to amaze the wee ones. More of a song (mad rhymes anyway) from Harry E. Humphrey with “Santa Claus in Your Phonograph.” Both of these overlong demos end with actual music (Hare’s with ‘JBells’; Humphrey’s with a lively musicbox tinklefest–and mad laughter).

The Mangles deliver a “Turntable Under the Tree” with a punk ‘billy rock collection for all your audiophile needs. I’m goin’ ’round and ’round, too, catchin’ up with their twistin’ list of playables.