Tolkien elves led astray by Morgoth became orcs, a mainstay of the Dungeons and Dragons gameplay. Horrid little easy pickings.
“The Time of Christmas has Come” by ORCumentary is a battle march in metal (with flourishes) about Orc Adams determined to get some Santa presents. Through malfeasance, natch.
@Krudmonger has a charming parody set in “A Very Tolkien Christmas.” Balrogs show up twice, but orcs appear in the next to last bit ‘Up On the Hilltop.’
Hooray! It’s the return of the kingly Brendan Dalton & The 1740 Boys Choir with thoughtful regret in the form of folk pop: “A Friend for Christmas (Prelude to the Death of an Orc).” Before its demise, it wishes for a Merry Christmas. Just like Jesus wanted.
As the Joe Dante 1984 summer blockbuster film with this title featured a Christmas setting (and such unholy violence it spawned the PG-13 rating), it figures significantly in the Christmas novelty song offerings.
“A Very Gremlin Christmas” recounts much of the movie with the Furby ripoff Gizmo burbling along. Claire Idstrom’s pop here is decidedly downbeat, though. Take with a grain of midnight feeding.
This city-sized monster debuted in motion picture form nearly 70 years ago and melted our hearts world-wide with its atomic flame breath. Rumors taint the icon as a rip-off and wannabe, but we root for him to save us from worse. He’s OUR monster. Or kaiju (gesundheit).
The Towels party up the place with “Godzilla Christmas,” a retrospective rocker that introduces us nicely. Escape to America!
Three Day Threshold dramatize “Santa Versus Godzilla” with kicky folk pop. Despite torpedos and reindeer attack formation, the Great Gifter seems outmatched. Then the caroling begins….
Reefus Monns ups the folk quotient for “The Devil, Godzilla, and Me (At Christmas).” This sing-along barely includes Godzilla (there’s also Cliff Richard, a horseman of the Apocalypse, the Pope, and a turkey) and seems an exercise in kaleidoscopic allusions. But, what fun.
While we’re weird, The Submensas present “Godzilla’s Gift of Life.” This BLUE ALERT rocks the figurative language so we’re not sure if the monster is paganism, commercialism, or just bad music.
The Benefit finally paint our menace in a warm light. “Godzilla Saves Christmas” narrates a Kaiju fight between Rodan and ‘Goji’ that’s keeping Santa from his purpose. Then, well you saw that title. Slow pop.
Gnomes may be a newer invention from the Renaissance. Little guys, ya get me? But not dwarves, and not elves. Handy critters, as the word gnomic applies to cleverness. They appear in Narnia, Middle Earth, and Harry Potter. And–of course–in your garden!
“Snow Gnomes” compares them to dwarves and fairies, but as crooned New Age style by Keziah Katerina they are so cute! And they give a shout out to Jesus.
“The Gnomes’ Christmas Night” by Tinsel Tunes makes kid song about these shy things appearing at midnight. Not sure why, just to party apparently.
Brent Burns wonders if Santa isn’t really a “Christmas Gnome.” His critical folk singing is pretty persuasive. By song’s end he throws in the towel.
Also amateur, Melanie Maxwell takes on ‘Fairytale of New York’ for her “Christmas Gnome Song.” Nicely played.
Picnic Day’s “Gringle the Christmas Gnome” is a Russian-sounding dirge replete with scoffs and despair alike.
“The Christmas Gnome” as sung by Mr. Scoops (confusingly, also the name of that gnome) will sneak and decorate your home. –Or make shoes? Then he gets into the booze. Not good.
Status Ferret makes a hero out of “Gerard the Christmas Gnome.” No evidence of his courage, but the plodding/bouncy pop sways me.
In ‘Most Wonderful Time of the Year’ we hear about scary ghost stories as an Xmas tradition. Apparently we did that before radios and TV.
Don’t believe me? Check in with Astro Al’s “A Victorian Christmas Ghost Story.” This spoken word yarn is backed with discordant anti-music and punctuated with melodrama. Seems like a Hamlet step-dad problem.
POV of the ghost! Aidan Moffat & RM Hubbert tell “A Ghost Story for Christmas” with easy listening indie vibes. A lover’s loss revisits and he seems unaware despite her decking the hauntings with love. Pretty sad stuff.
Missin’ their darlin’ Pine Hill Haints ramble a ridiculously good rant in “Ghost of Christmas Past,” a restless night of regret with rockabilly bluegrass.
Wild Earp & The Free For Alls admit “I Saw a Ghost on Christmas.” Turns out it was that lost love. The tango music, however, makes a game of the loss. Watch out for that final cruel twist.
The “Christmas Ghost” who visits Charlotte Moroz & Guy Capecelatro III offers gifts, but no wisdom or explanation. Her longevity, however, is impressive. She visits the same girl from age 5 to age 80 and somehow offers cheer. Haunting folksy pop.
Karling Abbeygate boop-boop-a-doops “Santa’s Got a Crush on Me.” The love triangle with Mrs. Claus tragically takes a turn and it’s Ghost Santa who will be visiting the home wrecker this Christmas. Defanged rockabilly.
Patrick Canning gets truly weird with his pop rocking “Christmas Ghosts That Dance Forever.” He’s the ghost, but doesn’t want to be around those other ghosts. Sprinkle his ashes somewheres else please.
Okay okay okay, ghosts for Christmas hearken back ‘A Christmas Carol,’ the Dickens story that restored his popularity in 1843. Mean anti-christmasser gets a tweak from his conscience so repents. No Jesus whatsoever, just humanness, then forgive and forge ahead.
“Marley’s Ghost” by Manual Cinema introduces the 1st of the 4 haunters with indie synth aplomb. Sad old tormented soul. Boo hoo, y’know.
“Ghost of Christmas Past” strangely uses ‘Hark the Herald’ to tear open old wounds. Majestica fronted by Tommy Johansson metal-pops the journey of redemption. Long solos. [Diggin’ dat? Check out the whole A Christmas Carol album from ’em.]
Also awesome is A VHS Christmas Carol with the introductory ear worm “I’m the Ghost.” It’s the Scrooge story updated with pop music anachronisms like we like.
Elizabeth Chen fills out the pop with “Ghost of Christmas Past.” This is a metaphor for a failing loveship with only memories to bolster it. Sad sad sad.
Erin Zindle & The Ragbirds appeal to the “Ghost of Christmas Future” during the Pandemic in order to determine how Christmas will pass in 2020. Symphonic pop with an edge.
Dance time! The Yule Logs tear up the floor with “Walking with the Ghost of Christmas.” Sampling ‘Rocking Around’ they get caught up in the visitation and just go with it.
Comedy time! TV’s Kyle resuscitates Carol with his bebopping pop “Ghosts of Christmas.” Existential crisis! Will you repent?
Canned Hamm and Friends get borderline sacrireligious with their homage to “Father Son and Holy Ghost.” This pop monster explains the holy trinity like it’s a law firm. Hilarious.
When Santa’s sleigh is ground by the TSA, “Pirate Santa Karl” steps in. Fugli warbles the folk into this shanty. ‘Tis a fine tale, i tells ye.
Captain Blog and Salty end their pirate-themed club show with a ‘Night Before’ lead in to “Santa Walked the Plank.” See, the pirates didn’t like that whole naughty label… Indie pop with a great backbeat.
A bit lacking in the piratical mien, El Camino rockabillies “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” about Big Red bringing this guy his gal. Then they can call out Yo Ho Ho. Always room for rockabilly.
Cowboy Andy and The Salamanders pop up the kidsong of “Pirate Santa.” This time, it’s Captain Blarg who impersonates the Red One, staving off ennui (mutiny?) by passing out gifts. Guess what he got Mad Monkey Man mark? Mostly a list, but jumpy fun.
Cities Never Sleep take no prisoners in their grunge rocking “Yo Ho Ho, Merry Christmas.” They’ll steal your hearts and sail to new sunsets. Like pirates! Watch out for the spoken epilogue.
Mandrew the dog was The Yogscast’s amazing “Brand New Friend at Christmas Time.” He was actually a super-powered new friend, who fought robots, put the toilet seat down, and Rescued pirates from their sinking ship (and pulled Santa’s sleigh). Sadly this means he’s not home for cuddles as much as he could be. Frolicsome pop.
Chris Jarvis presents a tutorial (with chord changes) in the exploration of what to do with “A Pirate’s Christmas.” What do you give a man who takes everything? Folk oddity.
Hotel Faux Pas fife and drum a grand pop tune about egregious souls hoping for a visit from St. Nick in “A Pirate Christmas.” Touching. Using that skull to roast marshmallows, however, may be an adaptation too far.
