Year-round Yuletide oddities
I still like a good song, even when it’s about dire straits.
Novelty overwhelms “Broke Christmas” by John Paul sharp and Paul Escalante. Their experimental pop is half cartoon soundtrack, half hip hop, half-assed fun.
Hot Buttered Elves have folk rock tune “Broke for Christmas” that neither glamorizes, wallows, or mocks impecuniousness. I’ll be listening to this more than once.
Time for attempted comedy on behalf of those without a pot to jingle in.
Voice maestro Billy West overspends for fun in his sleazy pop “I Wasn’t Broke for Christmas This Year.” Conspicuous consumption comedy.
TampaStan picks and grins some lighthearted ‘grass in “This Christmas (We’re Gonna Go for Broke).” He’s spending more than he has but it’s all for a good cause: a funny song!
Bing Bupkis and the Krenshaw Kids toil to bring you a ’70s Christmas special style musical number with “I’m Broke Again this Christmas.” Thanks anyway.
Mitch Benn goes big with “We Pretty Much Broke the Bank this Christmas.” Showstopping drollery.
3rd Alley jolly up the dire circumstances with “Broke Christmas.” Doesn’t matter if you’re naughty when you’re for naught, eh wot? Bouncy tin pan alley.
Some extraordinary circumstances squeeze our resources when it comes to Xmas buying.
Ramon from Regular Car Reviews raps a sad set of stories about guys who have to buy a new car, therefore have no capital to gift unto family. “Broke for Christmas” is truly a one of a kind oddity.
Struggling funnyman Hadadington ukes it up with “A Broke Millennial’s Christmas.” He’s been working for free… Poor guy.
Jordan McAlinden recounts the bad gambler’s Christmas problem in “‘Tis the Season to be Broke Again.” British pop rock, which always adds a certain charm to the misery.
It’s only too late when the fat man drops….
Keb Mo cools the yule with “Shopping on Christmas Eve,” the reverie of a mellow Motown moseyer. It’s a lifestyle.
A Cooper and D McFarland hip hop the horrible holiday hesitations of “Last Minute Shopping.” Is that a glimmer of urban hope? You fool!
Nathan Fleet will call you on this disorganized donating! He can smell “Last Minute Gifts” from under the tree and he’d rather you change your religion (or kick him underneath) than subject him to this uselessness. Comedy pop.
Some people really really hate the idea of Christmas Shopping.
Randy Bachman rocks cleverly the “Shop ‘Til You Drop” anthem. It’s a song, it’s a joke, it’s a soke.
Rapping old style (sounds like cassette) Beat Master Meat tongue twist their “Shop Until U Drop.” A cautionary tale.
Housewives on Prozac deliver domestic disaster with “I Broke My Arm Christmas Shopping at the Mall.” It’s exactly what you think.
Snow… trees… decorations… what’s missing? Jesus? No. Gifties, please.
Let’s spend some time searching, acquiring, prepping, and delivering the packages that pack the proper punch. (And NO special love messages that i-only-want-you, or Christ is the gift of God [that he hung on a tree]… no no no, we want mercantile materialism to minimize the malaise of modern madness. I said gimme gimme gimme, kay?)
So shop until we drop the pretense of what this holiday is all about.
The Russian Futurists proffer some electro-pop “100 Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” BLUE ALERT, but this is so lovestruck and iconoclast, it gets thumbs up without reservation. Dance, consumers!
One of Cledus T Judd’s less clever bits of irony is “364 More Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” You’re to never stop shopping year-round, get it? Plodding and predictable, it is still humorous. Leave it to Cledus.
Durand Bernar parties hip hop pop with “Christmas Shopping in July,” infecting us with symbolic joie de vivre bordering on dyspeptic mania. It’s about the feeling, but all good holiday songs are.
It’s all about family, the Christmas tree. I mean, doy!
Sometimes it’s only for Dad. “My Father’s Christmas Tree” honors a WWII vet in the best way, decorating some fauna for a month. Spiritually amateurish sort-of country.
Mom and Dad time! J D Wages have the ‘rents reminisce to the glow of the lights “On Our Christmas Tree.” Pop country with a two-step proclivity. The drawling full on country version hails from The Animal Band.
Modern lite jazz from Roland Everett Fall who has stories to tell from his “Christmas Tree Memories.” Most feature a good Daddy.
“The Christmas Tree in Mother’s House” is the doorway to nasal nostalgia. Larry Whinnery whispers his country lullaby.
La la la, blah blah blah, “Christmas Tree” from Neal Lowry thanks God for family, but sings Hawaiian style country to the tree.
Light jazz rock, this time with feeling, from David Barnes. “Family Tree” takes us from the car, to the home, to the distant nostalgia, to the heart of it all. Awww.
All together at last! Let’s credit “The Christmas Tree.” It’s the only reason we hold hands. So says Rick Goldberg with pop pop jiffy pop country swing.
Broken family getting you down? wish you could consolidate two Christmas trees into “One Christmas Tree“? Just ask the good folks at Nitty Gritty Dirt Band for a game plan. They’ll pick and grin ya a fine hearthside yuletide setup.
Family dustups don’t spare the shrubbery! Billy Idol lightly punks in “Yellin’ at the Christmas Tree.” Daddy’s abusive, innit?
Too much family? Poppermost feels your pain with the high-larry-us “Family Christmas Tree.” Swinging pop with a snap and a crackle. You’re not getting away that easily!
You’ve cleared the room to fit in the tree, so how ’bout a turn across the floor?
“Will You Dance With Me Around the Christmas Tree?” ask The Wiggles (through a tin can apparently). Country for kids. Gotta be the dinosaur.
Singin’ Steve elevates the kidsong to gospel chorale with “Waltz With Me ‘Round the Christmas Tree.” His footwork seems proselytizing, you ask me. (One, two, three, fir….)
Cowboys have been two-stepping around the Christmas tree since Pecos Bill was born, and ive already featured Boggus and Murphy bluegrassing this hit. Let’s give Riders in the Sky a dance in a cave with “Two Step ‘Round the Christmas Tree.”
Remix it up with the electronic dance music of Santa House synthing “You Make Me Wanna Dance (Around the Christmas Tree).” For the kids.
Less about dancing than romancing, Alex Pangman sings “Truckin’ Around the Christmas Tree” while teaching some finger waggling jitterbug. Boogie woogie blue grass.
Now you thought i’d have to include some Brenda Lee here… but let’s go more annoying with The Fabulous Gabriel smothering his efforts in tambourine and electric keyboard. “Let’s Rock Under the Christmas Tree Tonight” wants to be that original song no one else thought of. Barf.
If you wanted to boogie within infringement law to the old ‘Rockin” classic, let’s try “The New Old Way to Rock Around the Christmas Tree.” Crescendo supplies the a cappella to uplift your soul, if not your shoes.
I’m getting out of the mood, so i’ll listen to “The Tree That Couldn’t Rock” by Manos Wild. But that rockabilly sax is changing my tune and now–that’s better….
One doo-wop wonders, The Episodes, shake it to “Christmas Tree,” a 1962 Four Seasons Records 45 single.
Todrick (Toddy Rock Star) Hall (with Chester Lockhart) try their new viral sensation “Splits on Christmas Trees.” See if you catch the fever and strain your hammies in your jammies for mes amis.
Runner up for tree topper is the Star in the East, the sign of the Messiah, Mr. Big Light!
Jim Weatherly runs us up the tree dressing all the way to “The Star at the Top of the Tree” with dime-store country synthesizing. It’s magical, and made by Dad… just like Jesus was.
Michael Warner’s corrido “A Star on Top of the Christmas Tree” explains how easy a cheat sheet the tree is: story of Christ… starts with… the star on high!
Breathy jazz from Anja Wintermantel in the amorphous “Star on the Christmas Tree.” The star is the love, the tree is your relationship… but, fear not, the Spanish guitar will lead us to Jesus.
Michael J Handley takes us another jazz route to regret that last night you tried to be the “Star on the Tree.” Lounge comedy with highballs.
Novelty don’t just mean you ain’t heard it before (well, for me, mostly it does). But don’t forget the Way Out There musical offerings. RuPaul embodies the pushed envelope, so here’s herself with “You’re the Star (On My Christmas Tree).” It’s a love song, natch, but in the spirit of queer tit.
Don’t just let that tree set there… decorate!
Warbling like his string needs a fuse checked Randy Bryant & The Rockets jazz down “Christmas Tree Lights (Sparkle So Bright)” to no one in particular (well, some loved one).
Ruby Wright gets gospel on it (with so many children) (in 1957) with “Let’s Light the Christmas Tree.” Each twinkle gets her closer to Thee.
Winterval go deeper with “Hang the Lights on the Tree.” Alt rock navel gazing of the slow-dance persuasion.
Love me some Sufjan Stevens. When he begins his holiday chore list with “Put the Lights on the Tree,” he’s only getting started. Get your pencil ready–