Category: pop music

Behold a Star: Ringo Starr

Richard Starkey might be the fifth Beatle, a Skiffle player who replaced Pete Best. But boyhowdee did he stand out from the other mop tops. Not handsome or smart or even plain, Ringo was the talking dog of The Beatles. Girls wanted to keep him under the bed and take him out and play with him.

Christine Hunter gets silly with song references in “Santa Bring Me Ringo.” I think she means it.

Three Blonde Mice don’t have quite the quickened vocals as The Chipmunks, but dig that twist/bosa nova beat/sax. Overall, however, “Ringo Bells” is just painful.

Gary Ferrier applied Canadian élan to pop rock to celebrate “Ringo Deer.” That’s right, one of Santa’s fliers (probably Cupid) with a Beatles’ haircut. Check this 1964 fan piece out.

Behold a Star: The Beatles

The Beatles are the #1 highest-certified music artists in the United States based on album certifications by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). Their reign from 1960 to 1970 can not be overstated. So, whatever.

Dora Bryan might seem to borrow a couple chords from ‘Hippopotamus,’ but “All I Want for Christmas is a Beatle” is so annoying i’ll call it all-original.

Tripping Bells: Narcotics

Let’s review the menu of illegal pharmaceuticals with the help of funny man [BLUE ALERT for the love of GOD] Jelly D with “Fucked up for the Holidays.” A broken hearted man with a guitar and a drugged up calendar. Won’t see ya next year.

More enumeration from our Canadian friends So Big Hits. “High on Christmas” is just the joyous junk music you want to get that monkey on your back.

Tripping Bells: Moocah

Since Colorado blazed the trail of legalization for bale, at least a couple of kookie noels position themselves mile high.

Smooch McGee introduces the topic with “It’s Christmastime in Boulder.” It’s a travel brochure from the city council, with lilting ukulele beckoning.

Breathe Carolina goes power pop with “Mile High Christmas” which might not technically be CO, and is only nuanced with pot. But it rocks.

Drink N.B. Merry: tea

Turnabout is fair trade. Across the pond, some enjoy a cuppa with something more translucent brewing inside.

Joey Knock has a nasally epic “Christmas Cup of Tea.” He doesn’t know many chords, nor when to stop, but he is on about a good cause, innit? (When he’s not inventorying.)

Channeling an inner Alice, Dimie Cat plays antique nostalgic player piano with their distressed “Christmas Tea.” Put another nickel in!

Consume-mas Quantities: ya shore yew betcha

Scandinavian foods kept men alive during hard winters despite the oversalting and lye. Christmas celebrations up north may involve chest pounding and double dog daring to eat the nastier bits of the smorgasbord.

Red Stangland and Terry R. Shaw go with the obvious parody “O Lutefisk.” Funny accents and mournful singing and self denigration abounds.

Stan Boreson (previously Yogi Yorgesson) and Doug Setterberg sing “Just a Little Lefse” so gleefully i excuse the omission of the holidays for this dull flatbread.

The Oslo Glee Club sums up our fear of the pungent foodstuffs with “Don’t Cook Santa Lutefisk.” It’s more Sing Along with Mitch than Lawrence Welk, so sway with them.

Consume-mas Quantities: lunch rush

Xmas is a day x-ed off your calendar. B’fast, lunch, dinner may be mere suggestions.

In fact, no lunch guaranteed. Bah and the Humbugs dramatize this for the original Christmassers in “No Free Lunch.” This pop rock lesson mumbles, tumbles, and humbles. Get your perspectives straight, ya spoiled babies!