Category: rap

Forgiato Blow is that one black MAGA guy wanting to cancel 46 in the lively rap “Let’s Go Brandon Christmas.” Curious? Warning: fallacies may occur.

Da Epic Squad raps sillily over ‘Wonderful’ about your mom, Mrs. Claus (Man that hoe she be old 54 and counting), and Bezos. “Hoe Hoe Hoe” is boys being foulmouthed boys. And maybe Christmas.

Mac Lethal covers Dr. Dre’s “Santa Raps so Fast” like it’s a contest. Over 60 lines of beat in just over a minute, so he wins. Among the shooting, smoking, and put downs he reflect: And even when I’m 63… I’ll prolly be a sick MC. So, not so happy an ending–?

We Speak in Sounds has a nostalgic look back in the choral pop “I Believe in Santa Claus.” ‘Cuz if you believe you might get a N64.

But, the Nintendo 64 is just one of the punchlines (lousy presents!) in “Fuck Christmas,” a BLUE ALERT time of disappointment for young rappers Gentleman’s Vibe & IFHT (feat. Peter Chao). Raucous fun.

The Arkadian hard rocks the point here in “All I Want For Christmas (Is a Nintendo 64).” Stand back! This is serious!

All right already with the games! Life is more complicated than that, like the Secret Santa dilemma when you figure out you got the Jew to buy a gift for…. But All Students goes all in with “I Don’t Know What to Get.” Turns out Hanukkah presents are all cheap crap, so Some raisins… A balloon… 64 pack of crayons… and Burger King coupons. Problem solved! Electronica rap.

Seventy seems high (for elder years) and also low (for furnace settings). How far will today’s number take us… in rap?

PM has a BLUE ALERT “Wishlist” quid pro quo. For many, detailed sexual favors, she receives everything: including a 70″ plasma. Grawly rap.

Living fast and ballin’ at Christmas time, is Jim Jones’s answer to McCartney’s ‘Wonderful.’ “Dipset X-mas Time” has some baller wants, like: I think the coupe might do the hard thing (For real) Gotta do seventy and out pops the wing (Uh-oh). Laid back rap.

RodneyAlan gets all cozy with his rap “Whatchu Want for Christmas.” He purrs: Give me a melody Sing it to you when we’re wrinkly and seventy–and that’s what he wants from you, chuchi-face.

I can’t seem to tire of Martin Rivas’s haunting alt-folk “Another Christmas 78rpm.” Transcending, man.

Cold enough for you? “Hanukkah in Santa Monica” gets a gospel update from Mike Barnett (feat. Allie Kramer) and now names the temp: a crisp 78!

The other day it dropped to 78 I’m kind of cold, brags “Florida Christmas.” To the Handel chorus Kj-52 X Jonah cleverly disputes your preconceived notions and raps in the holidays, playful-like.

83 is still too warm during “Christmas Time in L.A.” for Chanté Moore. R+B about how beautiful it is in the sand. But i’m not not seduced by the pop rhythms. Could this be R&B ironic??

Malinda offers to Test every strand of lights and drape the tree in 83 ways for her “(Im)perfect Christmas.” Smokey jazz and bluesy wiles about how cool it is to be kinda dumb. Brrr.

83 years is the sentence in “Rudolph’s Story.” Jae Trxpp raps the Xmas tale old as time ’bout the two homeboys who accidentally shoot a kid, split the loot, get greedy, shoot one another, recover, lay low, then snitch. Sing along.

Tha Dogg Pound’s “I Wish” is a Xmas rap for love, even with young oppressed men only dreaming of guns. So leave it to one enterprising poster to show us Ralphie in ‘A Christmas Story’ under the song. Oh yeah, and the bookends of Toys ‘R Us commercials (with a fraction of a second of an actual black child). The number in question, however, quoted in What’s the solution for your 9-7 resolution? is probably not the screen of an iPad Pro, so i dunno….

How far is Christmas? Is it 100 miles? Shall we go 100 miles per hour to get there?

Kyle Matthews covers Oak Ridge Boys’s “Inconvenient Christmas,” a country stand-up sermon reminding us how Mary was Forced to walk a hundred miles just to give birth in the hay. Ask your mom about that level of inconvenience.

Taylor Swift’s “Christmas Must be Something More” blames our hundred mile an hour lives for not appreciating the specialness that the preacher told you about.

“All I want is a Tesla Truck” remarks Frosty in a sprightly rap. ‘Cuz. you know, Goin’ 0 to 100. Weee!